Jeff: how things change

It's amazing how quickly everything can change.

So there I was, sitting at the computer looking up what I should wear and how to do makeup when I gave myself a little reality check. Sitting there in just bra and panties--already weird enough for me--it's like I suddenly remembered that I was just a kid. It's not like I would've let Mel out of the house all tarted up or anything, so what the hell was I doing checking up makeup? Plenty of time for that shit later, you know? After all, it looked like I was in for the whole Brianna experience long term.

Swell.

Which had me thinking about the whole 'date' thing, which also helped me relax loads. Again: I was just a kid, yeah? Colin was a couple years older, but it's not like anything could happen. Thinking about it that way, I wasn't sure why he asked me out at all. The guy was a jock and all, and hitting on a chick a couple of grades down? Man, he was going to get it bad in the locker rooms afterwards.

So I dressed pretty casual and relaxed, just some low-riding jeans and t-shirt. Though I've got to say I still looked pretty damn fine--for a kid, for chrissakes--and I combed out this mane I was stuck with and slid on a little coloured lip moisterizer. After that it was a quick half-lie to the parents as Jenny came to pick me up and we took off.

Jenny's a friend of Brianna's. She seems nice enough, a pretty girl who seemed a little shy. It's not like we've talked much. I haven't talked much to anyone since I've taken over this life. Looking to change that I asked her how things were going (not bad, parents arguing again, little brother a pain) and carried the conversation and it was kind of weird how put-off she seemed that I was asking all these questions. We hit a Starbucks and met Colin and some others from the school there.

"See you later," Jenny said, sounding like she was used to taking off at this point.

"You sure?" I remember shrugging and nodding towards the small group of kids. "Why not stay, come out with us tonight?"

She looked at me as if I'd grown a second head. "Um... you sure?"

She stayed, of course. Personally, I was happy to have someone else 'my age' there. Colin and his two friends were all a few years older, which makes a huge difference when you're suddenly fourteen. Colin was all Peter Crouch legs and he towered over me, and I suddenly became really, really aware of how friggin' small I really now was. I barely cleared five feet as it was, and I had this suspicion I wasn't about to enjoy any kind of growth spurt, which left me with confronting the reality that I was going to be spraining my neck looking up at people for the rest of my life.

There was this slightly awkward round of hellos and we went off to see a movie downtown. It should've been weirder than it was. I mean, I was on a date, yeah? With a friggin' guy! But like I said, I couldn't feel any kind of pervy vibe because I could easily hide behind that "I'm just a kid" shield and try and think of it as just a night out with some friends.

(Ignoring, of course, the fact that these people might be Brianna's friends, but I had no clue who there really were.)

There was the usual argument at the theatre. Amanda--this snotty cheerleader chick dating Colin's friend Sam--wanted to see Pulse. The guys wanted the Jackass movie. Jenny didn't offer something, and I freaked out the whole gang by suggesting Gridiron Gang. What can I say, I love football movies. A little tilt of my head and a bashful smile and I got my way, too! Yeah, I rock.

Or so I thought. Because everything was just going great and for the first time I actually felt happy--yeah, actually happy!--as we walked into that theatre, carrying all this popcorn and coke, and I was just chatting away with Colin and Jenny in a relaxed kind of way as we found our seats....

And then the lights went down, and yeah... everything changed real quick.