Shane and I are back at the Inn. We arrived today, and hopefully we'll be back in our bodies soon, and we can go back to our regular lives. I haven't posted much recently, because there hasn't been a whole lot to tell. We've been running the cafe and living pretty regular lives. After Shane had his threesome, things cooled off between the 2 of us, and we haven't had sex since. I guess that when Shane did this, a barrier went up from my side, and he hasn't pushed it since. We were also coming to the end of this journey, and I think that once we're back in our normal bodies, it might be easier to go back to how things were, if we're not currently having sex or in some kind of weird relationship.
I still worry about it, though. After what we've been through, and what we did together, can things ever go back to how they were? I guess we'll just have to wait and see. We're still fine, but I can sense a sort of awkwardness, which I can only describe as being similar to hanging out with an ex that you decided to try to stay friends with.
It's been an interesting experience, and we've both learnt a lot. Being trans for these months has really opened my eyes to the challenges that they face, and the frankly vindictive laws being enacted by the current administration that serve nothing, and trample all over a group of people that are marginalized anyway. The bathroom laws, for example, are ridiculous. I look very much like a man, but now I'm supposed to use women's bathrooms? And if I decide to play any team sports, then I should join a women's team? I'm quite sure that there would be objections if I did either of these things.
I'm also looking forward to going back to my business. Running a cafe is difficult anyway, but now, nobody knows what will happen to the supply or the prices of anything imported. As a locksmith, a lot of my business is opening the doors of people that have locked themselves out - which requires tools I have anyway. I also cut keys and install locks, but I managed to order a whole lot of blank keys and locks from a supplier a couple of months ago which they'll hold for me until I get back.
There is some apprehension about going back, though. When we were in Indy over Christmas, I realised just how fucked up my actual life is. I'm really motivated to try to fix what I can now, and build a life I'm happier in. Living the life of Chris was less stressful in a lot of ways. I was there temporarily, and whatever I did, and whatever happened, I won't be around to live out the consequences of. That's not to say I didn't try to do the right thing - but if I messed anything up, then it would make no difference to me in the long term. Having said that, I don't think that we made a mess of things, and Chris and Sylvia can go back without too many problems.
I wonder how Shane will adjust to going back to being a man. Looking at him, it's very difficult to see that he was ever anything but a woman. When we were packing to go to the inn, he went through Sylvia's closet and lamented that he didn't get to wear a lot of her summer dresses, because it's never been warm enough. On the other hand, he's often complained about the uncomfortable heels, the make-up and periods - or the lines for the ladies bathrooms, and having to sit to pee. I think I got it worse than him there, though. Men's bathrooms often only have one stall and someone has usually pissed all over the seat. He did adjust to being a woman very quickly and comprehensively, so I hope he adjusts to being a man again just as quickly. I'm mostly looking forward to getting my cock back. I constantly worry about someone finding out that I don't have one, and I'll be very happy when I won't have to deal with this anymore.
I think we'll mostly be spending our days walking around town, going to the beach and trying to treat it as a vacation. It's still quite nerve-wracking, because until we're back in our own bodies, a lot can still go wrong. We have decided on a very strict rule about staying in our respective beds from 11pm until the sun comes up. No going to the bathroom during the night, just in case, so the key will be not to drink much when we go out and particularly taking it easy on the beer.
Now we wait, and hope that it all goes to plan....
No comments:
Post a Comment