Aidan/Emilia: The Talk

Even before typing out that last entry, I taped notes saying "Family Meeting Wednesday Evening - Very Important!" to the kids' bedroom doors, pre-ordered some pizza, and then went into my bedroom to write something and wound up asleep fairly soon after.  I had an early shift at the bookstore, anyway, with a little bit of time to buy some extra soda after work.  The kids arrived back from work at around 5:30, and asked what was up.

I felt like I should have a presentation ready, but it hadn't seemed appropriate the night before.  "Okay.  As you guys know, our reservation at the Inn starts on the 5th of June, just a little more than two weeks from now.  New-us will be arriving there Saturday morning, which is a risk, but they're trying to minimize you guys having much to make up in the last few days of the school year after their 'family emergency'.  Have they been sending you classwork to catch up with?"  They nodded; as I kind of expected, Kutter was nodding along more with the details.

"Okay, so, that leaves a question of what we do.  I'm working two jobs part time, so I can probably say that I've got a family emergency back home and they'll either say they're sorry to lose me or ask me to say when I'm back.  You two, though..."

Rusty groaned.  "Ugh, I can't wait to get home, but i kind of hate the idea of quitting.  Seems like that's what makes sense, though."

Kutter nodded.  "Yeah, the folks in the office are going to think it's weird if I quit, especially if the new Katey sticks around the city but doesn't find something soon, but I've really only got enough PTO to get through us staying at the Inn, let alone for the person who turns into Katey--"

Rusty rolled her eyes.  "You've got a chart, don't you?"

"It's a perfectly reasonable thing to figure out!"

I held up a hand to keep this from going further.  "I'm glad you guys decided this on your own, because, obviously, I can't really tell you to quit your jobs."  There was an awkward silence as I decided whether I should just stop there and accept a good outcome, but I couldn't quite do it.  "There is one more thing you should know, Kutter, about your job:  If you don't quit, Katey will almost certainly get an official  promotion to Social Media Manager."

The kids both started talking at once, to me and each other, the gist being that this was amazing but how did I know.  I have them a just-the-facts version of my conversation with Annette.  Their eyes bugged at actually knowing another person who had stayed at the Inn, and they wondered if that meant Kutter had vibed with her in some unconscious way. Eventually, though, Kutter turned to me and asked why I was telling her this; wouldn't she be better off not knowing? 

"Maybe, for you, for now.  But you'd have found out someday, and I don't know if you would forgive me for treating you like a child after how much I've counted on you acting like a mature adult for this whole stretch.  I'm not sure I can carry that around, myself."

Kutter nodded, dejected, and it was quiet before Rusty interjected.  "Like, don't let me stop you!  I know you really want this!"

I shook my head.  "No.  We're not going home and having a series of strangers posing as Kutter until they graduate college, and we're not leaving your brother here on his own."

"Fine.  I'll stay too."

Kutter turned her head.  "You can't do that - think of all we'll miss!"

"What?  Prom?  Taking six years to get back to the point where we'll be able to apply for jobs we love and already know how to do?"  Rusty tucked a bit of hair that had fallen in front of her face as she whipped it between me and Kutter behind her ear.  "And that's if we can get back to this point, assuming other-Kutter and other-Rusty haven't left our transcripts a mess but it doesn't matter, because student loans and scholarships are no longer a thing!"

I folded my arms.  "Rusty, there's no need to panic about that.  The girls have been doing great filling in for you, and I will make sure you can attend college."  She looked down a bit, knowing this was true.  "But why this sudden change of heart?  Were you just telling me what I wanted to hear the other day?  Are you just telling Kutter what she wants to hear now?"

"No, I just..."  She sighed.  "I don't know, I'm usually pretty excited about being myself again, but then I remember how I used to get picked on just for being short, and wonder if it will be worse if I can't shake a bunch of Monica habits or if I'm not ready for how people think of me after a year of other-Rusty.  I guess I want to go back but wouldn't exactly be upset if I couldn't."

"Okay, I understand that."  I turned to Kutter.  "And how do you really feel?"

"Kind of the same?  I mean, yeah, I'm tilting a little more to wondering what that new job would be like, but half the time I feel like I'm not qualified for what I do and that would just be even more.  Still, though, I want to be myself again.  Sometimes I feel like I'm losing who I really am inside Katey, or wondering if there's no 'who I really am' because I'm not really imitating some real Katey, but just being myself, and that's kind of scary.  But, also, if it turned out that other-Dad didn't want to break up with her new girlfriend, I could manage."

I admit, I groaned at the thought of just how long my counterpart had kept things going with a co-worker I hadn't been particularly fond of.

"Anyway, you always said a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, and I have to admit, what you're saying makes me wonder which is which in this case.  Maybe I should ask Ms. Grayson how likely things are to go wrong with the Inn, in her experience."

That caught me a bit flat-footed, because for as much as I've learned to fake being Emilia well enough, it's never seemed like the better option for me individually, let alone for us as a family.  That they could suddenly see bright futures as Katey and Monica made sense, though, and I wondered if I would feel the same way if I hadn't been looking for things I could easily leave behind from the start, or if a good situation had found me.

At any rate, I expected to come out of that family meeting with definite plans of how to leave these lives behind, not a promise to ask Annette and any other Inn people what seemed like the right move over the next few days.

-Aidan/Emilia