On the other hand, it's crazy how not insane it is. I thought that I would be back to posting here weekly with all sorts of "all these weird girl things around the wedding are crazy and I haven't felt more like I shouldn't be here since I pushed a baby out of my body" rants, but it hadn't worked out that way. Probably not because I've become a woman all the way down to whatever deep, feminine part of the brain yearns for pretty dresses and professions of undying love, but because we appear to have hired a pretty good wedding planner. She knows her job and neither Gabe nor I have much on the way of bridezilla (or groomzilla) tendencies. She'd give us a list of options, we'd look them up on Yelp, and if we didn't immediately agree, and one of us had a reason to care - like, say, better vegan options for Gabe's cousin - it seldom ran up against issues for the other. Heck, I even came to kind of enjoy the dress fittings. Sure, some of it was boring enough that I occasionally wished they had ESPN on like they do at Gabe's barber shop (or even Lifetime), but having a dedicated specialist make sure I'm the most beautiful I can be is kind of nice, especially if you grew up a guy and can be uncertain about this topic rather than a girl who has been obsessing over her wedding being perfect since she was a 4-year-old flower girl.
I guess what I'm saying, Inn girls, is to outsource this stuff whenever you can!
Even if I was more lost at sea amid all the preparations, though, I probably wouldn't have had time to write about it. It seems like every time I take a couple days of time off, I've got to train some assistant manager to handle all of the stuff that I typically do, Moira decided she wants to do youth basketball, and Gabe has been all over, asking how he can help with everything and extra amorous with the wedding approaching, which is great, but doesn't give me a lot of alone time. Maybe that's for the best - married couples are gonna be up in each other's business - but I am already kind of enjoying this long weekend where he's in New York with his friends for the bachelor party.
My biggest hassle right now is the bachelorette party. I know, it's usually the Maid or Matron of Honor's job, but when considering the choice between Boston, Atlanta, and New Orleans for any sort of party, let alone one for an ethnically mixed group, NOLA was the clear winner. Atlanta may be very nice, but none of us really know the place, and I can at least bike by places Karla finds here to scope them out.
Yes, Karla is Matron of Honor, in part because I wasn't sure Jordan or Original Moira would be able to make it and I didn't want to do "instead of your sister?" stuff. We've been getting along well lately, at least, although I'm kind of alarmed by how sparsely populated my side of the church will be compared to Gabe's. Shouldn't I have more friends? I'm a nice person! But, then, I'm also a technically-still-single mom who has moved a couple of times. I've got coworkers and maintain good relations with Moira's friends' parents, and they'd go to my wedding if it was local, but not to Atlanta. Gabe's got a bunch of friends from high school and college coming, but apparently a lot of Krystle's high school friends are holding grudges and mine are white folks five years younger than the age on my new passport who would be difficult to explain. I sent save-the-dates to them all anyway, figuring we could say they were friends of Jonah's (true!) that were more help when I was pregnant and a new mom than my baby daddy (an exceptionally low bar!), but even the ones who texted me back saying they were excited and happy for me (mostly girls) had long put even thinking about the cursed Inn behind them. Maybe being married will lead to couple friendships, or I'll just stop worrying about it again once this isn't staring me in the face any more.
Of course, the one person who didn't RSVP at all is the one that's been the central figure in my most frequent nightmare of late. That'd be Joseph, my roommate at the Inn who got changed into Krystle's boyfriend Lamont and wound up serving the rest of his sentence. Of you remember, he got really upset when I showed up dressed nice because I figured he might enjoy a night out with a pretty girl when he was released, and really freaked out when I discovered I was pregnant. In my nightmare, the wedding is going well, until he bursts in at the "should anyone have any reason" moment, announces that I'm really a man, and because it's a life-changing moment, everyone believes him, and it turns out that Gabe, his while family, Moira, and everyone is way more homophobic than I thought and turn on me. I wake up on a cold sweat and tell Gabe I don't remember my dreams.
But I do, every one of them. There are a ton where we for some reason book the Inn (or someplace similarly cursed) for it honeymoon and most of the time I wake up as my old self and he's Krystle, or some other woman, and that can go either way but is usually kind of fun, but one time I woke up as Mackenzie and he was this giant roided-up version of himself with the intention of punishing me for stealing Krystle's life and lying to him, and I'm glad I woke up before the worst. One time it was months later, and he was still a man, but I somehow got him pregnant on the honeymoon!
I'm not reading anything into it, other than the Inn giving my subconscious more to work with when anybody would be having stress dreams. It's gonna be great!
But, yeah, even with a good planner, I'm really expecting after the wedding to be much better than these weeks before it.
- Jonah/Krystle
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