Thursday, June 30, 2011

Greg/Sharon: Answers and Questions

So its a little after 5am on Wednesday morning and I'm happy to say that the curse kicked in a few hours ago. Those of you astute enough to read the title will know already that I'm still female, having turned into the body of Sharon Barco.

I knew the change was going to happen tonight. Ive been doing a modest headcount the whole visit and last night we finally hit lucky number 13. I dont know what exactly causes the curse to kick in, but I stayed up all night waiting for it, like a kid waiting for Santa in a weird twisted way. Its nearly impossible to fall asleep anyway around here when you know whats going to happen. Most nights I drink heavily to fall asleep, but not last night.

Around 2am I felt that "hard to describe unlike anything else" feeling of the changes starting, and I did what so many of us Inn veterans do and I stripped naked and ran to the bathroom mirror.

The first thing that happend to me was the rapid weight loss, meaning that whomever I was turning into was smaller than a size 16. Wrinkles, stretch marks, and cellulite were also disappearing so they also took better care of themselves or were younger.

I got about two inches taller but it stopped there, and the sagging off my breasts disappeared. When they stopped in a more perky position is when I realized that I was going to stay female.

My hair actually got a little shorter, which was surmising. As Dee i'd been wearing it about shoulder length curly in the back, very easy to style. This time the hair went halfway up my neck in almost a Bob haircut. It also turned a light brown and all my gray went away :).

Then of course came the awkward slightly painful experience of having your face change. Its almost like having to sneeze but the sneeze never comes. Or an itch that cant be scratched. You figure everyone's face is different and there are a lot of bones and muscles and tissues that gotta be rearranged. The eye color is the weirdest one of all. It doesnt happen all at once though, like it gradually changes. Mine went from greenish to what people call hazel. Once it was all done I was much younger looking. No crows feet or laughlines and very nice teeth.

This whole time the pounds were just melting off. You cant imagine how big of a relief it is to be fat for a year and then just to see it go away. It wasnt just losing weight though, I gained a little muscle tone. Definitely could see some definition in the legs and butt as well as the arms. But the best part of all was the abs. I'm now the proud owner of a six pack.

After the tingling sensations stopped I looked myself up and down. I'd say my age is a little under 30, much younger than Dee but slightly older than Priya or my original self. Still white, but slightly tanner than before. Clearly lives a fit lifestyle and completely hairless except for a "landing strip". No kids, or at least I dont think so. There were no stretch marks or lines that would indicate something was living inside of here.

I was broken out of my exploratory daze at around 4 am from the screams and shouting and general hubbub in the commons. This meant I had to get dressed, which posed a problem. I discovered yesterday that the biometrically locked laptop belonged to Alex, only his thumbprint was gonna get me the electronically recorded note that included the combo to their luggage. I wonder if their spies, I dont look that atheltic but I could see myself as a spy now.

Either way, I'm not getting dressed until I find Alex's body. So I put on a Dee nightshirt that covered everything but fit miserably and went out to calm everyone down and tell them what was up. Only when I got to the lobby I discovered that someone was doing just that. Apparently I'm not the only veteran here and this younger looking guy was giving out instructions on what to do. Eventually everyone headed back to their rooms to look at their notes.

I knocked on Albert's door and a man about my age opened. "Hi, I'm Dee from next door, or I was last year...its a long story. I suppose youre wondering where your note is..."

He looked at me puzzled. "No, Ive got my note. Says Im someone named Neil Pane from Arkansas. I cant go to Arkansas, Ive got a family" I reassured him and sighed, figuring that bitchy girl next door (whose name I learned was Malinda or Mal or something) was Alex. But when I knocked on her door a woman opened the door, looking distraught.

"Hi, I dont suppose there's a 'man' in there" I ask

"No, I'm not that kind of girl, who the hell are you?" She asked, looking pissed off in a mannaer that told me it was Malinda in there

"Dee, from next door"

"You mean the old chubby lady? Man did you luck out" she said in a patronizing way.

I was mildly offended but wished her good luck, I have bigger things to think about.

I went back to the room and began this post...I'll start looking for Alex's body in the morning. Hopefully he doesnt panic.


Monday, June 27, 2011

Greg: 1 week down

So, with the first week of my Trading Post Inn reservation in the books, I now find myself in the body of.....Dee.

Yep, we haven't had guest magic number 13 arrive yet, which is strange because it didnt take this long my first two visits. I got to Maine late night on Tuesday, and found it to be pretty much deserted, just me, a single guy in his 30s, and a middle aged couple. I didnt say much to them but they didnt appear to be aware of what awaited them.

I, on the other hand, am only partially aware of what awaits me. The first thing I did when I got to my room was to check for luggage, but my closest had two suitcases. One belonging to Alex Barco and another belonging to Sharon Barco. The tags had the same address so I presume that they are some kind of couple. I didnt find anything more out because they didnt leave a note other than a post it saying "info stored on laptop". The suitcases were combo locked and I couldnt go through them, and the laptop case was next to them.

This is where it gets ingenious/tricky. The laptop had a special add on to it that in order to get access to it you had to put your thumbprint down and have it read it. Obviously, no one was going to get that information without Alex or Sharon Barco's thumbprint, meaning that until I possessed either of their forms. (I hope they arent spies, Id be a terrible spy and wind up geting captured or killed)

That leads me to the next big puzzle of the week. Which one will I be. From what we've learned over the past 5 years of this blog, the magic doesnt turn you into the person who slept in that room previously automatically. It turns you into the person who was sleeping nearest to where you slept, or something.

So while my room had two occupants last time, this time it only has one. Meaning I'll turn into one of Barcos, and someone else in the near vicinity will turn into the other.nThis means Ive taken great interest in the two rooms adjacent to mine, because in all likelihood, whomever stays there is going to wind up being my spouse.

The room to my left filled up the day after I got here. A guy by the name of Albert Connell. Albert doesnt know that the Inn is cursed. I found this out by talking to him around the hotel. He's in Maine trying to expand his business in the northeast or something. He's from Ohio and and has a wife and two teenagers back home. Its hard hearing his story, because I now that in a few days he's gonna be ripped away from his family and replaced with God knows who. I dropped hints at what happens but he didnt seem to notice, so this is clearly his first time here.

The room to my right didnt become occupied until this weekend. I havent done much talking to the girl who's staying there because she appears to do most of her communication in text form. She's actually really cute. Blonde, cute little body. Drives a nice car and has an iPhone. She looks to be about 24. Old enough to be out of college, young enough to still have sorority letters on her totebag. She gave me the brush off every time I approached her, apparently caring too much about her tan to bother with talking with older people. I kinda hope she turns into a fat person.

Of course, this is all speculation and this place has done nothing but send me curveballs. As of Monday night there are 9 people staying here. I thinks the economy is causing attendance to dwindle. If we dont have 13 by Saturday night Im tempted just to put an ad on Craigslist or something, because come hell or high water I will be getting out of this body.

Stay tuned


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Tori: Father's Days (Part 1)

Sometimes I get sad when I think about the fact that as much as I love my dad, he's only been my dad for a couple of years. It makes me sadder to think of the fact that the love he has for me is the love he means to give to someone else, someone who walked away from her own life. I have a complex opinion of the "real" Tori, because she was gracious enough to let me keep living a life that is rightfully hers when it turned out I wouldn't get mine back. But the way she gave it up, sometimes I wonder if she appreciated what she had.

I put off talking to my family for a while after I got back from Houston. I really didn't want to talk to anybody, but of course I live with Raine, and I work with Alex, but I was quiet about it, and they respected that. They knew things with Buddy were complicated, but I never really could explain why, obviously. There were a lot of issues, even stretching beyond the "I used to be a guy" thing, because of who I was as a guy... partly, he reminded me of the old me, and that was both a good thing and a bad thing. Things I liked about myself, I liked about him. Things I hated about myself, I absolutely couldn't stand about him. But I guess I felt I owed it to myself to try to make it work, because I was just so high on being able to be in a relationship anyway.

But breaking up hurt even though it was mostly my own doing. I didn't want to show it because after all this time, I should know it's better to have loved and lost than never at all. I'd fall asleep clutching my pillow wondering if I'd made a mistake, and feeling guilty and irrational and emotional and embarrassed.

A while later, my dad called to see if I'd help him paint the house. The weather was getting nice and mom had been on his case about the window sills and the garage doors. Even though I didn't quite get why he'd ask me -- I don't think either the old Tori or myself showed signs of competence with that -- I was glad to do it, because I hadn't had an excuse to see them in a while, and wanted to stop avoiding them. Mostly, it just felt like a fun normal afternoon.

So I found an old t-shirt and some shorts and we spent an afternoon painting the place up. He goaded me into going up the ladder he'd rented to do the top floor windows. We ordered a pizza for lunch, and then he came out with it.

"So... I'm gonna guess you and Buddy are off."

I sighed heavily. "What was your first clue?"

"Well, he moved off to Texas, didn't he? Dallas?"


"Right. And weren't you thinking of joining him?"

"I was. I was looking for work down there. In case it worked out."

"And it didn't?"

I gave a moment's thought and answered "No. It did not."

He took a long time responding to that. He took a bite of his pizza and chewed, and then another. Maybe he was waiting for me to elaborate, but I didn't know what else to say.

He stopped chewing and looked at me and said "I didn't like him."

I smiled uncontrollably, but had to twist my face into a sour expression. "That's sweet of you to say, Dad, but I know it's not true." Although he wouldn't have, if he'd known how badly Buddy handled the break-up.

"No, it's not true. He was smart, nice enough, very polite. Your mother and I liked that you were with him."

I winced. "I've dated a lot of assholes." I haven't, but part of being someone else, unfortunately, is having the balls to own up to their mistakes.

He laughed, "Yeah. Sure. Some assholes here and there. But I never protested, did I? I let you find your way. And now look at you. I liked him fine, but I liked that you were dating him. He never got a ticket for street racing, I bet."

Dad brings this up from time to time and I have no idea what the story is behind it.

"He was smart and he had a good job and he didn't seem like he would've been popular in high school. Really different choice for you, if you don't mind me saying so."

"I don't."

"But that doesn't mean I'm upset you broke up. If there was a problem that couldn't be fixed, I'm glad you did what you felt was right. You're a very strong girl, Tori. You're a very different person than I thought you'd turn out to be, and I'm always surprised by what an amazing person you became."

I wanted to cry, I was getting so choked up, I had to throw my paint-covered arms around him. He had no idea how much those words could possibly mean to me, or what he was truly saying. I actually felt guilty because I'm not the girl he raised, but knowing he approves of who I am just means the world to me. You don't get to choose your family, and I'm so glad that when I landed in this body, I got one I love so much.

I was struggling to open a can of paint and I said jokingly (but not without meaning) "I bet at times like these you wish I was a son, right dad?"

He just grinned at me, popped the lid open and said "Hey, I could have called your brother up... what would I need another son for? I've got the best daughters ever."

He paused and added, "And the best son."

I was on such a high about that weekend, but it didn't last. A while later, I got an e-mail from "J.H. Clifford." Willy. My heart sunk and I almost didn't want to hear what he had to say. I clicked the message.

He had just gotten word that my dad -- My real dad, in Buffalo -- had had a heart attack and was in the hospital. Willy's still in England, but maybe I would like to have a look in on my family, in case he doesn't make it. There wasn't anything else in the letter. No "This is what I've done with your life," no question of returning to the inn. Just this fact.

I was looking up bus tickets to Buffalo that night, and before I knew it, I was back home...

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Greg/Didi: Saying my goodbyes.

I know at times Ive made it seem that I have no friends as Dee and that I lived my life as a hermit, but thats not entirely true. I have co workers and neighbors who Ive been friendly with and enjoyed their company and Im gonna miss a little when the Inn takes me on my next great adventure. I left work last Friday saying goodbye to all my friends, although they didnt seem to get it. As far as they were concerned, Dee was going to Maine for the 3rd year in a row and she always came back so much nicer. I realize now that I'm going to miss them, but theres one person in particular I am going to miss.

Let me start at the beginning, and rewind back to January.

The holidays were just finishing up and I was feeling really depressed, what with Dee's son spending xmas somewehere else and me being alone for the first time in years. That loneliness was compounded by a certain itch that needed scratching, as in sex. Dont get me wrong I had no qualms masturbating in this big lonely house, there were even toys for it. It feel very attractive doing it but it got the job done. But as any woman will tell you, there is no substitute for the real thing, and I dont know what Susan's sex life was like therefore I had no idea how long it had been since this body had had sex.

I had no idea how to go out and get laid as a girl, at least not as this girl. As a guy you went out with a group of friends at a bar or something and went on the hunt. As Priya all my encounters were on the receiving end of things like this, but Dee's was much to old to go to a singles bar, and I was to nervous to get all dressed up and try to look sexy. So I did the shy and dorky thing and one night I drank a whole bottle of wine and set up an online dating profile.

I didnt do it too seriously, just a profile and basic info. I actually wrote it like Greg would write it. Like I wasnt pretending to be Dee, like I was someone who looked like Dee with Greg's likes and dislikes. I went to bed and forgot about it. It was when I woke up the next morning and saw that I had 38 new emails, most of them responses from the site saying I had new messages. Turns out girls on the internet are so rare that even ones in their 40's get tons of attention.

A lot of the messages were from weird people with incomplete profiles who were clearly just looking to get laid. They werent even subtle about it. A lot of them asked about the status of some of my private parts, others linked me to pictures of THEIR private parts. And even though the main reason I started the website was a drunken desire to get laid, I figured they'd at least have to make an effort.

I started corresponding with a few of the ones who were serious and eventually gave my phone number out to one, whom I'll call Mike for anonymity purpposes. Mike works in some office job in Oxford and was also a divorcee empty nester. He had gone through the typical midlife crisis and had a really cool car to show for it, but lately he had come back to earth and was looking for companionship his own age. He was 2 years older than Dee, had a beer gut, a lot of body hair, and was pretty much bald. Not exactly romance novel material but who was I kidding, I'm not exactly pinup girl material either.

We met at a bar outside the student inhabited part of town. He was impressed that I ordered gin and tonic instead of some girly drink. He was even more impressed about the lengthy conversation we had about Rebel football and their chances next season.

We took a walk after that and I dont know if it was the gin or just my nothing-to-lose attitude but I found myself opening up to him. Talking, laughing, even flirting with him at times. After awhile when it was time to part ways, I found myself asking him back to my place.

He didnt immediately pounce on me once we got there, in fact he talked to me for about 40 minutes, slowly warming his way up to a kiss on the couch. (I later found out that part of the reason was to let his Viagra kick in). After a few minutes of making out he followed me upstairs and we got undressed.

What followed after that was mostly instinct. Its hard to explain, but when youre having sex as a woman its much easier to go on autopilot. That is just zone out and lie back and let it happen. Thats not to say that I wasnt there mentally or that I didnt enjoy it, because man did I enjoy it, but Mike was definitely in charge. It wasnt pretty to look at and Im glad we didnt make a sex tape, but it was just what this body needed. When he finished he cuddled me and we talked for about 5 minutes before he fell asleep.

He woke up in the morning and left early, before breakfast. Which was good because I was really regretting what I had done. I kinda liked the guy but didnt want to lead him on because I had no permanent plans for this body and didnt want to be his girlfriend before I left it. I told him as much when he called me back,(That part about not wanting anything long term, not the part about being a man cursed to look like this), and he seemed to understand, but didnt take it as a permanent goodbye.

We kept emailing and texting each other causually until about 3 weeks later when I called him in a haze of wine and hormones to come over. He did, we enjoyed ourselves, and he left in the morning, fully aware of what the situation was. This became a pattern throughout the rest of my time here. And Im sorry I didnt blog about him or talk about him, I'm not like other bloggers where I post about every new sexual encounter I have immediately.

Anyway, fast forward back to last week. I called him up and had him meet me for dinner, with the intention of telling him we'd never see each other again. The problem is, he was such a witty and polite southern gentleman that the opportunity truly never came up. Either that or I was too chicken to tell him. We wound up going home together and I found myself giving one hell of a performance in the bedroom. Doing my best to give him a good sendoff that way. As I watched him fall asleep I looked at his awkward naked body and decided that whomever gets this life next should have some option of companionship, and decided not to cut him loose for now.

But yeah, thats the one loose end I didnt tie up. Im packing as we speak and should be in Maine by the start of next week. Who knows what changes are in store for me there but I'll blog before the change (Or at least try) and let you know what happens to me and or other people there.

Nervously yours,