Thursday, October 25, 2012

Matt Gabrielle: Home Making

So Maine to Florida it turns out is not only a 8 hour trip after layovers, it also costs about 600 dollars for 2 tickets if you buy them the day of the trip. Gabrielle's credit card had more than enough for that, in fact it had quite a lot (I checked the balance). Even leaving immediately Lacey and I didn't get to Ft. Lauderdale airport until 1 pm Monday morning.

The flight didn't give us any time to talk however, since it was our first experience in public as the people we appear to be. When the TSA was looking at my ID I got nervous she would see right through it, but she just nodded. The body scan was even more unnerving than usual. I already felt weird enough as it is without the idea of someone looking at it with xray vision.

When we were on the ground in Florida we had to search long term parking before finding Gabrielle's car, which was a late model Chrysler Minivan complete with all sorts of kids stuff in the back. Fortunately the thing had GPS so finding my way to the Maltos suburban home was doable, although Miami traffic was awful.

When we pulled up the first thing Lacey said when she set eyes on the house was "Nice". And that described it perfectly. It wasn't a mansion but it couldnt have been more than 10 years old. The lawn was perfect as was every other lawn on the cul de sac. I fumbled around in my purse for a minute before I found the house keys. I fumble a lot with my purse actually. I know the stuff is in there but it gets lost and I have to dig for it. I think the fact that the stuff isn't mine is part of the problem.

On the inside the house was just as nice...sort of. It had 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms and a big living room with a giant TV which will be nice to watch sports on and what I think is expensive furniture. However, it was dirty. Not like hoarder dirty but you could tell someone hadn't cleaned in awhile. The dishwasher was full, there were piles of laundry, the bedrooms were a mess, except Wesley's because he'd been gone.

I went into the room that had the biggest bed and put my suitcase down. It was messy too, but not as messy as the rest of the house. It was Lavender, I think. A light purple. Technically neutral but still girly. The bed was a king sized, unmade with a lot of pillows.

The closet was a walk in but about 3/4ths of it was women's clothes. I dont know if Gabrielle is a clotheshorse or if this is normal. The male side was mostly suits and casual clothing but "my" side was full of dresses and blouses and some things I'll have to ask Lacey what the name of it is. I spent the next couple of hours unpacking and exploring as well as cleaning up a little bit.

Most stuff went in the hamper or closet, but some stuff from the suitcase. Like Gabi's underwear, went in the dresser. I paused to look at the top of it, which was full of photos. I picked up the one that had my body in a wedding dress. Clearly a much skinnier version with a little less weight but it was clearly Gabrielle. The man next to her was tanned with dark hair and big eyebrows. Her husband, Dustin. The man I would have to try to fool for the next year or so.

I was putting the suitcase away when I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and a kiss on my neck. I spun around quickly and let out a squeaky "eep". I found myself in the arms of Dustin. He didn't look like he did in the picture. He was balder and had a bit of a spare tire but it was clearly him.

"You scared me" I said nervously

"YOU scared ME being gone for so long. Wesley's missed a ton of school"

"He'll make it up, he's a bright kid" I said not knowing if it was true

"Lets hope so" he said, going in for a kiss which I awkwardly returned "What's for dinner?" he asked making it clear that that was my responsibility.

"Umm...I've had a long day and have no idea what's in the fridge, Can we just order Chinese?"

"Sure thing hun, just go to the grocery store tomorrow." he said as he sat down and opened his laptop.

When it was dinner time I got to meet Gabrielle's 9 year old daughter, Isabella, for the first time. She's a bit of a quiet kid, but she did what I told her, which was kind of cool. Getting used to being called Mommy is gonna be tough though.

When dinner was over I asked Lacey to help me do the dishes. She just smiled and said "Sorry, Mom, I've got a ton of homework to catch up on" Which was true, although having a college degree in her old life High School should be a snap for her.

I set forth doing the dishes myself, not just becuase they needed to be done but also I had an ulterior motive. I was trying to stall for time and go to bed as late as possible because I wanted Dustin to be asleep before me. I know I could have used the old "i have a headache" routine but it's pretty awkward for me to think about. I finished the dishes about 11 and peeked upstairs to hear the man snoring loudly. I got undressed down to my underwear and put on a tshirt and climbed slowly into bed.

The next morning I woke up alone. Apparently Dustin's schedule requires him to get up early and drive a long commute downtown. After a chaotic attempt to get the children ready for school I sat down on the couch and observed my domain.

I was now a housewife, and it was a house. I was in charge of everything that went on inside it. It could be worse, I could be thrust into a job I'm totally unprepared for, but it's still going to be hard work.

I spent the rest of the day getting the house clean and cooking some basic spaghetti for dinner. That's how the last few days have been. This life may be a little boring but routine will make it go faster.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Matt/Gabrielle: This goes here

So after talking back and forth with Alia for a few daysI finally decided to blog about my experiences so she gave me access to the blog. As you can probably tell I've been to a fateful in in Maine and woke up as someone else.

I should start with who I am, who I REALLY am. My name is Matt Olmstead and I'm supposed to be 23 years old from Portland Oregon. I sell Hondas and and make my own beer. My girlfriend Lacey and I were on a vacation in New England last week when we stayed at the Trading Post Inn. Needless do say we didn't leave Maine the way we had hoped too.

Apparently the change happens when 13 people sleep at the inn the same night, and that happened the 2nd night we were there. This was a romantic vacation so Lacey and I fooled around before falling asleep naked in each others arms, which made for an awkward wakeup. We didn't get woken up by any screaming or commotion at 3am and slept through the change, so when the sun brought my eyes open I found myself with my arms around a young teenage boy.

I immediately pushed him out of the bed, waking him in a fit of confusion and said "Who the fuck are you" in a voice much higher than It was supposed to be.

The kid rubbed his eyes, looked down, grabbed his crotch and screamed. While he was doing this I looked down and saw my own body, or at least part of it. Some of it was obscured by two large, floppy, female breasts.

I cupped them when the boy on the floor said to me "Who are you, what have you done with my boyfriend, and why am I a boy?"

"Lacey" I said, still freaked by my voice

"Matt" he said squinting at me.

"What is this?" I asked helping him up and heading into the bathroom to look in the mirror.

Staring back at me was a woman in her mid 30s. Dark brown hair past her shoulders and brown eyes. She wasn't fat, technically, but boy was she curvy, especially in the thighs. She had a few stretch marks and the breasts sagged a little but pretty good looking...for her age. Lacey was now a young boy with similar features and complexion. I'll spare the description of her new body because it was underage and I feel a bit uncomfortable thinking about it still.

After a few minutes of touching our faces and other body parts to make sure this wasn't a dream, we decided to find out what was going on. Lacey was able to fit into a pair of my shorts and a tshirt, although they were extremely baggy. I on the other hand, was out of luck. Lacey's real body is quite petite and nothing of hers would come close to covering up my new body. Finally I squeezed into a pair of my boxers and put on an oversized tshirt. It was ill fitting but it would while we went into the hall to see what had happened.

It was after a 9 year old black girl explained to us the nature of the inn and the curse and that our bodies would have luggage in the closet as well as notes explaining who we are that my heart stopped racing. We went back to the room and found two suitcases. One for Gabrielle Maltos and Wesley Maltos. Clearly I was Gabrielle.

They only left one note but it was sufficient to get us started. Apparently they are Mother and Son from a suburb of Miami. They were in Maine for a youth hockey tournament and spent the night at the Trading Post before going to the airport. Obviously they missed their flight.

Gabrielles portion of the note explained that she was a stay at home mom to Wesley and a 9 year old daughter. Her husband worked for a drug company and made 6 figures a year, so not rich but not struggling. It explained the morning routine as well as the daily chores. By the time I finished reading it my heart was racing again, and Lacey could tell.

"Cheer up" she said putting her arm around me "At least you don't have to go back to high school"

"I don't think I can be a mom...or a woman" I told her weakly

"Half the population does it every day, you'll get used to it. Now get dressed, you look ridiculous"

We opened up Gabrielle's suitcase and I thumbed through the clothing, a little intimidated. Lacey impatiently grabbed some clothes and told me to hurry up and put them on. The panties were weird, considering I'm a boxers man, and dug into my new hips a little bit. The jeans she selected were tight fitting on purpose and I had to wiggle my ass a little to get into them. Lacey helped me with the bra after she saw me trying to put it on like a shirt. "Better learn to do that, I can't be doing this when people think I'm your son". One blouse later and I looked like a casually dressed 37 year old woman.

Since Wesley had missed school and their family was no doubt wondering where they were despite the real Gabrielle sending emails and texts to her husband, we decided to get home right away, rather than wait along at the inn.

I'll post later about arriving in Florida. Sorry if this post is a little disjointed and undetailed, I've never blogged before but hopefully I'll get some practice and get better at conveying my feelings and emotions.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Tori: Back to Black

Stressing out in front of a mirror has sort of been my main hobby for years. Of course, in the old days, it was like "How does this stuff even work?" ("This stuff" being literally every part of my body.) Then it became "How do I impress guys?" (Turns out, pretty easily.) And then it was, "Does my guy like the way I look in the morning/at night/ever/always?" (Sometimes I forget it's often just a simple matter of having boobs.) And now it's... "what am I even doing?"

Seriously. I've been a girl for over three years now. You'd think I'd have a good handle on the experience, but there's always something new. I'm single for the first time in... well, let's break it down. For the first year, I was single, but I was also still pretty much a guy in my head. Everything physical about this body was off limits unless it was essential for my own survival. Even I didn't touch until way after I probably should have (looking back, amazing self-restraint I will never have again.) Then by the time I wanted to be with a guy, I found one (Leo) and when I wanted something more serious, I found Buddy, and when I got tired of him, I was on my way to getting Alex. So my life as a real "single woman" can be condensed to, like, a matter of weeks, before recently.

So in a way, I don't know how to dress for myself. I want to look nice, and presentable, and comfortable, and yet... not available. Not yet. I'm not ready. I want to try being alone for a while. I want to be able to leave the house without looking at every guy I meet like an item on a menu. I know that they'll be looking at me no matter what - I know from experience that even the hint of a female body is going to get looks from a certain segment of the population. But I need to carry myself in a way that says "move along, boys."

I dyed my hair back to black. It was getting too frustrating to touch up my roots every couple of weeks, and I just did not feel good about being a blonde anymore. I missed my long dark hair, the look I first woke up with back in 2009. It always was a hassle to maintain, but the short dark cut looks too serious. I think I really will be ready to have fun again by the time my hair grows out (it's currently just long enough to put behind my ears.)

We had Sara's bachelorette party this past weekend. This is the second wedding I've been involved with since my transformation, and again I'm in the bridal party. This time I'm trying to get more into it, but Sara seems very detached and hurried. She's been with Thom for years now - literally almost since I've been here! - and she seems so keen to get this wedding over with in a hurry. I thought wedding planning would be up her alley, but she seems so "over" the whole process. I'm being supportive.

The party, though. Oh, lord. It was me, Raine, Sara, and three other girls who are married, engaged or in serious relationships. Raine and I were "the single ones" so it was like a game to them to get us hooked up for their own amusement. I did not help their cause by wearing a white button-up blouse that made me look like a waitress. They were not taking "I'm off men right now" for an answer.

It's not that none of them looked good to me, but I did just get out of a long term relationship. It's going to be a long time before I can look at another guy because part of my brain still feels like I'm really still in a relationship even though I know I'm not. It feels like cheating to check out other guys.

I'm in a weird place right now. I miss Alex so much, or at least, I miss the person I thought he was. I miss being with him, or maybe just being with someone, being somewhere stable. But I'm not sad anymore. The way it ended fucked with my head so hard it's hard to know how I feel. Like I can't trust my instincts, maybe. Like I should be mad, or sad, or regretful, but I'm just... numb about it. It would be easier if I were still crying my eyes out but I'm just... past it. I'm just not ready to go back to square one with a guy again.

So here I am on my laptop on a Monday night, stripped to my skivvies and wondering how my life might be different right now if I let that bodybuilder looking dude do a body shot off my abdomen on Saturday. Maybe I'd feel better about myself. Maybe I'd feel worse.

I'm back to feeling like I don't belong anywhere, just like old times. Sigh...

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Greg/Kurt: Filling you In

Right. So the blog isn't dead, it just kind of seems that way lately. Life is just in the way for our regular posters but we keep contact and we've even got a few new posters who want to share their stories so we're working with them. In the mean time life has just gotten in the way.

My life isn't that complicated. In fact its pretty easy at the moment, that's why I haven't been blogging. This is the longest I've ever gone between leaving the inn and blogging but its because I didn't really feel any big interesting monumental things happen when I got here. It helps that Tulsa is boring. Its a pretty big city compared to the rest of Oklahoma and they have most every kind of store, but its kind of sleepy and shuts down around midnight. So not quite Chicago.

Work is actually fairly easy. I'm the manager at an electronics retailer, and while I've never worked retail I've learned enough from previous management/IT jobs to fudge it enough. Dealing with corporate sucks but I'm doing well enough not to get Kurt fired.

Home is a new experience because for the first time I'm living with someone who doesn't know I'm changed. Guy's name is Sean, he's about the same age as Kurt and we live in a nice 2 bedroom apartment. I guess they aren't best friends forever but they get along and don't fight.

I've been flying solo for most of it because outside of the initial letter, I haven't heard anything from the real Kurt. As I mentioned before he turned into a Chinese national and I guess his visa was expiring. Apparently when his new body disappeared for 2 weeks it might have caused some problems. I assume he's in China now but the email address I have for him hasn't been responsive.

This life doesn't really present any major challenges for me. Being a guy is easy, especially if you've done it before. I suppose if you've never been male before theres things to get used to, but even though I've taken a few years off its all come back to me.

I teased Alia when she became a man that she wouldn't last 5 minutes with a dick before jerking off but that wasn't true and it wasn't the first thing I did when I woke up as a man in fact it wasn't among the top 20. Its not that its weird having a dick, its weird that I have someone elses. Its not like it's functionally any different than the one I was born with (although it might be a little smaller, i forget) but it still is someone elses. It took a few days go get over it but one morning I woke up with a boner and got back into the rhythm.

Of course once I was back in the habit I just HAD to get laid. Kurt was single and I dont want to mess up any of his friendships like I did with Alexis and Annabelle, so a one night stand was the solution. So last week Sean and I hit the local singles bar.

I haven't been a single guy in a LONG time so it took a little while to get used to being the aggressor and buying drinks for girls. Fortunately I'm pretty good looking and I've always been charming but it had been years since I was a single guy, so it took a little while to get used to the searching process but I finally started chatting up this girl named Tricia.

We talked for a little while, we must have had something in common because after a few drinks she suggested that we go back to her place. By that time it was all coming back to me and we took a cab there.

From there it was all instinct and memory, I had forgotten how driven men get when they get started. I was focused on one thing only. It broke my concentration when Tricia handed me a condom, so much that it took me way longer than it should have to put the damn thing on, but its been awhile.

When it was all done we made out for a little while more before I fell asleep. I didn't even notice how tired I was but the booze and sex knocked me out. The next morning I woke up before her and left quietly. I put my phone number on her nightstand as a courtesy although I'm not going to be in a relationship again, and she hasn't called me so I think she understood what was up.

So yeah, thats basically been it. In a way I'm kind of glad for the mundane because I think I've had more than my share of drama for the last few years. Of course if any pops up, I'll be sure to post it.


Saturday, October 06, 2012

Burt (Lisa): Boundaries

Nobody's overly happy with the situation we've found ourselves in. Out of all the people I've heard about from this blog, very few of them have had to live with someone who knew your body's original owner... had to deal with that on a daily basis. Shaun and I are still sharing an apartment, and while logistically it's a bit of a drag, it's an arrangement both of us are comfortable to maintain, I think. To be honest, no matter who I am, Shaun needs a friend right now. We've talked a good deal, and he's taken me into his confidence. As you on the blog know, he was recently dumped by his fiancee when he became Doug, and from then on he had to pretend to be married. And while that sounds like a relief, it's incredibly stressful to assume that role in someone's life without any prior knowledge, and going from one situation to the other like that may make it hard to access the emotions the other person expects. For the first few weeks of our arrangement, Shaun tiptoed around me and kept checking up on me to make sure I was okay, obviously being sensitive to my transformation. Once I assured him I was okay, he started to open up a bit. It's not that he couldn't talk to Zane or Lisa about it, but I'm always there in the apartment - I don't go out much, I stay in and read or watch TV. We have dinner together often, we talk, and I know feel like I know him well, and he knows me. I've told him things about myself - things I am not yet comfortable sharing here - that explain why I don't think this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

Because of the way the previous renters of the Lisa and Shaun bodies behaved, we found ourselves in this situation where everyone in the world thinks we're in a relationship together. It was awkward in the beginning, because I was new to this, obviously, and the last thing I wanted to be was a "girlfriend." Luckily, I didn't have to very much, aside from the occasional meeting with his family or mine. I look back at those early days of awkwardness and laugh, what they must have thought of my body language, reclining away from him on the couch, seeming distant during conversations... if it weren't for the Inn magic, the idea that we were a couple would have seemed impossible.

But it's easier to pretend now that we have rhythm. I can kid him about things, I have stories to tell when people ask, we get along great. I still don't think I'd hold his hand in public, but that's not required. I just don't lean away from him when we're sitting side by side.

What we have is an understanding, in the place of a conventional relationship. As far as the world knows, we're "together," but he knows we are definitely not in reality, and if he wanted, he could date any woman in the world. I know it wouldn't though. From our talks, he seems determined to take time for himself before getting into a relationship again. I hope he does.

And I suppose, I could date anyone I wanted. But I haven't felt attracted to even one man (or woman) in my time here. I've been "asked out" once or twice, and my reaction is more like polite embarrassment for the person asking, and I'm thankful I have my fake "relationship" as an excuse. It's a fragile balance we have to strike. I just hope he doesn't let me impact his life too much. I don't plan on being here forever.