Right. So for everyone not insightful enough to notice the change in name in the blog post title, I'm in a different body now. Again. Took long enough, didn't happen until Saturday night and Malinda was freaking out. If we didn't have 13 people by Sunday morning, I was going to call Fletcher and see if some other travellers would even things out , but I'm really glad it didn't come down to that, not only because he's weird but because he'd probably make me do things for/with him in return.
Anyway, Saturday night I was reading the internet my phone in bed when I felt the tingling sensation. I took a deep breath and looked down and saw dark hair sprouting out of my legs. My first two years at the inn I was asleep for the changes, but I watched them happen live last year. Weird as it sounds, I actually like to watch it live. Its kind of horror movie but it makes it feel like less of a shock if you watch it happen in real time. Either way I stripped naked and headed into the bathroom and by the time I looked in the mirror I had hair growing out of my chest, armpits, and pubic area as well.
If I had to describe the change from a woman to a man in one word it would be "growing". You can feel everything about you getting bigger. Your height, your muscle tone, and...your genitals. It was weird watching a penis grow back after so long without one, heck it's weird having one again still after 2 days but it's not as big a shock as not having one was.
When it was all over, a dude was staring back at me in the mirror. Not muscular, not fat, not ugly, not hot. Brown hair, brown eyes, white skin. Just kind of dude. I flexed my muscles and looked over myself in the mirror when I heard a knocking at my door. I put on the robe I brought (which was a bit short now) and went to the door to find Malinda, the real Malinda. The pretty blonde who had stayed in the room next to me a year ago but was a lot bitchier back then.
"It worked!" She shrieked bursting into my room and jumping up and down "It worked Greg, it worked it worked! You are Greg, right?"
"Yes" I assured her "It changes the body, not the minds"
"I'm so happy to be me" she said hugging me "Thank you so much for your help"
"No problem" As I said that there was a scream of horror from down the hall "It sounds like others are going to be in need of help"
"Should we offer?" she suggested
"Wait until morning" I said "All this changing has made me sleepy"
I woke up Sunday morning and after I got over how weird everything felt I got dressed in some of Kurt's clothes, read his letter one more time, and went out into the lobby to see what was going on.
When I got out there I saw some people in ill fitting clothes in the lobby standing around listening to Malinda finish explaining things "It's important to remember that this can only be temporary and you just have to do your best to make it through the next year"
When she was done talking the people went back to their rooms to presumably look at their letters and luggage. I walked up to her and said "Well aren't you the good little leader" jokingly.
"I figured since I knew what was happening, and I'm in my right body, that it would be helpful for them to gain from my experience. I told them about your blog too"
"More pageviews, awesome. So what's next?"
"I fly out of Portland tonight, you?"
"Lucky. My guy took the Amtrak. He's got a monthly pass or something"
We helped each other pack and answered questions of other guests until it was checkout time at noon, when we took our luggage and waited in front of the inn for the real Sharon and Alexis.
Sharon showed up first, we noticed the big rig pulling up was the same one that had been parked in front of our condo a few months ago when she came to yell at Malinda. Sharon in Jack's body got out and took his suitcase towards the inn when we realized he didn't recognize us so I called to her using her real name. She looked at us weird and walked over slowly. "Greg?" she said eyeing both of us, not sure which one was which.
"Me" I spoke up "Male again"
"Can't say I envy you. I can't wait to get rid of this thing."
We talked a few minutes and Malinda filled her in on a few details when a Taxi cab came up and a middle aged brunette got out.
"Honey" Sharon squealed in a hilarious way "You made it"
The real Alexis, who spent the last year in Minnesota as Selena Bookman, walked up to her spouse and gave her a long, satisfied hug. "Her marriage is going to be strained. That idiot she's married too didn't want me to go but she'll have to get over it"
We gave them a little bit of advice and reminded them to sleep separately in the correct rooms, otherwise they might end up as each other. We said one last goodbye before Alex gave me a hug.
"Thanks for keeping my life in order, Greg. I couldn't have asked for anyone better"
"Its what I do" I said in a Han Solo manner that made me feel like a bad ass.
Malinda and I split Selena's cap to Portland where I hugged her goodbye "Tulsa isn't far from where I live. Visit sometime"
With that, my once pretend gay wife went to board her plane.
As for me, I'm in Washington DC. For those of you that Aren't American I should explain that Amtrak, the US passenger rail line, is complete garbage outside of the Northeast, and doesn't even go to Tulsa. I have to go to Kansas City and take a bus to Oklahoma. So now I'm in the train station on the laptop this body came with, awaiting details on my next adventure.
Happy Trails, (I'll be in cowboy country soon)