Lane/Kari: Ladies' Night Out

The weekend before was an experience, to say the least. So far I'd been staying on the sidelines, laying low, and slowly dipping my toes into the metaphorical pool womanhood. Saturday night was like being shoved in unexpectedly with all your clothes on and your cell phone in your pocket and the water being very very cold. That metaphorical shove came from Kari's BFF Rosita (She actually goes by Rosie, which is short for Rosario, but since one of Erin's friends also has that name I'll call her Rosita here, which is apparently what her Mom calls her).

I had texted Rosita telling her to come over at 3, because I needed help getting ready. The excuse I gave her was I had no idea what outfit to wear after not going out for so long and needed her advice. She was happy to oblige, on the condition that I let her wear something from my closet. I didn't have a problem with her borrowing Kari's clothes, since technically I was borrowing them too. A few minutes after Ashely had left for a friend's the doorbell rang and my answering it was met with a squee and a hug from a girl overjoyed to see her friend after a long time. "Chica, I missed you so much!" More hugs. More squee-ing.

I'm gonna take a moment here to comment on the "Chica" part. One major reason I've been avoiding talking to Kari's family and close friends is that I don't speak Spanish. I studied it for a few years in high school and I know a lot of words, but actually being able to casually rapid fire speak and understand, not even close. Part of my fear stemmed from reading this blog, way back when Arthur got turned into Liz and it appeared to all her friends and family that she suddenly seemed to forget how t speak Korean. Of all the little lies I have to tell on a daily basis, I was hoping to have to avoid being a Latina girl who no longer spoke Spanish. This is actually a whole thing with me, suddenly belonging to a different culture and being a little squeamish about behaving incorrectly or even offensively. My conversation earlier in the week with Kari helped assuage that a little. She was born here and her family had been in the states since the 70s, and while she could speak Spanish her family and friends mostly spoke English with a little slang mixed in, hence "Chica".

Being around Rosita I didn't feel the need to overdo it and try to convince her I was Kari, which is another new thing with me. When I first got here I was always nervous at her job or around Ashley but despite my best efforts they always commented on how I was acting weirdly. So with Rosita I figured I might as well just act naturally, and if she says something just make some half-assed excuse, besides its not like the curse would allow her to believe the truth if I told her.

Rosita is actually about the same size as Kari, height and width wise. Her boobs are a little bigger and her bottom is a little smaller, but she would have no problem wearing anything in her closet. She's wearing sweatpants and a tshirt with her hair in a ponytail, but her makeup was already done and she looked pretty. Objectively. One thing I've noticed in my few months as a woman is that I can still tell when a girl is pretty, but I can tell it knowing my judgment isn't being clouded by testosterone. If I were still a man I'd probably find Rosita sexually attractive, but now its more appreciation than desire.

We headed into the bedroom and she opened up the closet. "You take a shower while I pick out outfits" she directed as she started pulling hangers out of the section that I never really touched.

I waited until I was in the bathroom to strip, even though Rosita probably wouldn't have noticed or cared if I did it in her presence, she'd probably seen this body naked dozens of times. Women are less weird about getting naked in front of each other I've noticed, but I still haven't adapted. Once I was nude I stared at myself in the mirror like I did most times. Maybe a different face is something you get used to, people like Tori seemed to have, but I'm not at that point yet, mainly because I intend for this to be temporary.

I took my time in the shower, because this body has more sensitive skin and hot water feel heavenly now. I washed my hair because I hadn't in awhile, knowing that Rosita would be able to dry it and do something with it. Lifepro tip if you ever find yourself a woman: always be aware of the weather and time you have later before you get your hair wet, it takes forever to dry. I also hadn't shaved my legs in awhile since I wore mostly pants to work, but figured whatever Rosita had in mind wardrobe-wise wasn't going to include comfortable slacks. I used the lady razor and shaving cream I bought myself, Kari didn't have her own. Apparently waxing was more her style. I briefly considered keeping her monthly appointment but chickened out because 1)Ow and 2)Waxing is really expensive, like 120 dollars for everything she normally had done.

Once I was all clean and smooth I toweled off and covered myself in some bodyspray that I've come to enjoy before putting on a robe and heading back to my bedroom. Rosita had covered my bed with clothes, all dresses, skirts, and bits of fabric I couldn't immediately identify just by looking at it. "Have you decided yet?" I said clearing some space and sitting on the bed.

"This" she said with an excited grin "Would be so perfect. I don't think I've ever seen you wear it." She was holding up a dress that was zebra print which looked like it barely went halfway down the thigh and squeezed everything.

"I was thinking pants maybe?" I said

"Great Idea" She said "Show off the booty"

Not my reasoning, but I was glad she agreed until she pulled a pair of white pants off the bed that looked like they were made of leather. I took them and a pair of black panties and went down the hall into the bathroom to put them on. I got the pants about a quarterway up my thigh before they got tight and halfway up before they stopped moving anymore. Not only could I not slide them up...I couldn't slide them down either.

I was glad Ashley was out of the house, otherwise she would have seen me waddling down the hall topless and would have probably laughed harder than Rosita giggled when she saw me. "Little help?" I asked, laughing myself when I saw in the full length mirror. Rosita hand me stand up and yanked and tugged and tried to get the pants up and after a few minutes and a couple of painful yelps she gave in. "Its not gonna happen, Chica, you're butt is too big"

Getting them off required me lying back on the bed with my legs in the air while she got the pants off without damaging them. "Have you put on weight since I last saw you? When was the last time you went to the gym?" she asked

I honestly didn't know. I didn't weigh myself when I first became Kari and I never really thought about it. I don't normally eat poorly, I never did as a man, but if Kari normally went to the gym and I stopped this body's smaller size and slower metabolism might have sent any excess calories straight to my ass and thighs. I usually wear loose fitting stuff at work and sweatpants around the house, so its possible I wouldn't noticed an extra inch, but leather pants would make it apparent.

Rosita looked at all the clothes on the bed in thought. "I don't think any of this is going to fit". This was only a slight setback as she headed back into the closet and I could hear her digging in the back. She emerged with a red flowered dress that looked like it was made of a stretchy material. "I knew you'd still have this" She said with a sly smile "After all the fun we used to have in it. Its from a few years after you had Ashely, and you were a little bigger than, it should it. "Try it on"

She handed me the dress and as I was leaving she said "Do it here in case you get stuck again, tubby". Her tone was playful, but the word kind of stung. I stepped into the dress and wiggled it up snugly over my hips. As Rosita zipped me up she gave me a pat on back "Perfect". She straightened out the hem "But you'll have to lose the panties, they're showing".

Not wanting to walk around commando in a dress, I slipped out of the bikini briefs and grabbed a thong. Those had been weird to get used to at first but after a few minutes you barely notice them. Hiking the dress up, I slid them up between my cheeks and over my hips before smoothing the dress back down again. I caught a glimpse of my dress in the mirror. Rosita did have a great eye for fashion, I'll give her that. This dress looked amazing on me, hugging every curve and showing off my breasts despite giving just a little bit of support. I turned to the side a little bit and saw that Rosita wasn't kidding, I did have a nice ass when I wore clothes that would show it off.

When I turned around I saw Rosita had stripped and was now standing naked holding the zebra striped dress. I averted my gaze as she put it on until the had me zip her up. It looked great on her, I will admit, and she even joked about keeping it if I don't fit into it again.

Once we were dressed I sat down in the small chair in the bedroom while she did my hair and makeup. It was kinda like getting a haircut, except she expected me to talk back. I mainly listened to her gossip, and told her a few things that had being going on with Ashley, as well as complain about some of the girls at work. I think I may have gotten the hang of "girl talk".

When she was finished she turned the swivel chair around to the vanity mirror and I gasped. I was...gorgeous. I don't know if I ever really described what Kari looked like, but she has smooth brown skin, big deep brown eyes, full lips and high cheek bones. Pretty features even when I'm just wearing business attire or ponytail and yoga pants around the house. Rosita is a cosmetologist and she really knew how to make my face pop. She knew just which colors and styles to use. She had plucked my eyebrows thin, which had hurt a little but now they perfectly framed my eyes. Kari's eyes might just be her best feature, and Rosita had shaded them so they somehow appeared bright and mysterious while at the same time dusky. I pushed my lips together and tasted the lipstick that made them seem even fuller than normal. The only way to describe how I felt was...good. Being pretty made up for the whole being a girl and single mom shocker and it made me feel confident. I smiled instinctively and this only made me look prettier.

Fortunately either the real Kari isn't good with hair and makeup or Rosita is so good she'd rather do it herself, but she didn't ask me to return the favor. She sat chatting and primping in front of the mirror while I played with my phone (and took a few selfies).


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I let Rosita drive because I didn't know where the club she wanted to go to was, but we took my car because I had more gas. The Detroit Metro is weird because the bigger suburbs function as their only little mini-cities, and Trenton has a lot of cool bars to go to and have a drink, but Rosita wanted to head into the city where there would be more people as well as a younger crowd.

When I first moved here I was surprised by what I found. From what you see on the news a lot of people would think that Detroit was giant black hole of blight with a Mad Max like populace, and while there are a lot of spots where I wouldn't go to in my old body, let alone this tiny and weak one, there are actually some really nice areas, particularly Downtown and Midtown. Cheap rent has brought in a lot of recent college grads and small businesses to those areas, including the one that I work for. There are dozens of fun little hipster bars right near my work we could have gone to, but we skipped those and headed to the neighborhood in the southwest part of the city called Mexicantown, which if you couldn't guess, was the city's traditionally Latino neighborhood.

We parked in a guarded parking deck, one thing you have to love about the Motor City is that its built for cars and there is ample parking and it can be quite cheap if there isn't a sporting event nearby. The cool autumn air hit me as I focused on walking in heels, making sure to take short enough strides that this mini dress didn't ride up and give everyone watching a show.

The club had a pretty long line, what with it being Saturday night and I was about to suggest going someplace less crowded when Rosita walked up to the bouncer and said "We're on the list" in a causal manner.

The bouncer looked at us for a second, never once consulted a clipboard or "list" of any sort, and let us through. Apparently "We're on the list" means "We're sexy women and you want us in your club so that people will buy alcohol for us." Sound business strategy actually.

The crowd was actually pretty diverse despite being in a Latino neighborhood, because, again, hipsters. We headed for the bar and Rosita ordered a Cosmo while I asked for some light lager made by Bell's. I was about to pay for it when I heard a voice say "I got it", followed by two guys standing next to us and smiling.

Uncomfortable as that was, it wasn't unexpected. I've been to clubs before, I've been a man in a club before, I know that guys are going to buy pretty girls drinks. So I smiled and took a sip while they introduced themselves. Enrique, the one who had decided to flirt with me was a nice enough guy but a bit of a bore. He talked about music mostly and we didn't exactly have the same tastes and it was a little loud to carry on an interesting conversation anyway. As I finished my beer I looked over at Rosita and saw she was equally uninterested we thanked them for the drinks and made an excuse to leave the bar area, which meant being dragged to the dance floor.

I was never much of a dancer before, in fact I looked downright silly doing it. Typical "White guy who doesn't know what to do with his arms" and I had a good sense of humor about it. Becoming Kari didn't automatically make me a better dancer, but nobody called me out on it when I basically did what Rosita did. It helps that for girls dancing is a lot of hip moving and butt wiggling, and thats more easily accomplished when you have more pronounced hips and butt. And you know what? It's fun. Like really fun to just let loose and feel sexy and move with the music. I don't know how long we were doing it but we must have had four more drinks bought for us, Cosmos for me but I didn't feel like correcting the order or drinking a ton of beer.

Five drinks in this body is not the same as five drinks in my old body, and my inhibitions had definitely dropped. So much so that I didn't jump away when this guy came up behind me and started dancing with me. I wasn't quite over my paralyzing fear of being touched by men, which wasn't helped by the constant awkward advances of my boss but tonight I didn't mind that this guy had his arm around my waist and was grinding his crotch into my ass.

He expertly twirled me around, so that we were face to face, or rather face to chest. I remember thinking that he was tall, and wondered if I had been that tall. He wrapped his arm around me and we danced till the end of this song, and the next song, and the one after that. When I needed a break I looked over at Rosita who was at a table sitting on the lap of a tall black guy with a shaved head, who I briefly remember thinking was pretty cute. Turns out he and the guy I had been dancing with had also been friends, and we sat down at their table.

Rosita was too engrossed with talking and occasional kissing to pay attention to me, so I had another Cosmo while I talked with Jaime, the guy I'd been dancing with, about...truth is I don't really remember what. He must of been pretty funny because I remember laughing a lot, but that also might have been the Cosmos talking. Whatever they were saying they eventually said to my brain that my bladder was full, and I headed off to the ladies room, or rather the line to the ladies room.

After about 10 minutes of concentrating on not wetting myself in public I made it into the restroom and...wow. Any myth about girls being cleaner and neater than guys either isn't true or goes way out the window when girls have been drinking. I'm not going to got into graphic detail other than ew, and I had to concentrate and hover. While I was trying to avoid falling I imagined this was why a lot of girls went to the bathroom in pairs, and maybe I should have asked Rosita to join me.

In fact I really should have considering when I finally made it out to table both Rosita and her guy were gone, leaving just Jaime there with another Cosmo for me. I asked him if he had seen my friend, and he said no and then began chatting me up again. I was a little worried until I decided to check my phone and saw a text from Rosita saying she had gone home with him and not to wait up.

This sobered me up a bit. Not because I was judging Rosita, she's a grown woman and she can do whatever she wants with her body. Just the realization that the guy had made his move at exactly the right time and that Jaime was apparently a pretty damn good wingman. I suddenly found myself wondering what his expectations of ME were, and the fastest way for me to set him straight.

He pushed the cosmo over to me and I shook it off "Actually I need to be going" I say to him, standing up wobbily.

"So soon?" he asks

"Yeah, my daughter has somewhere to be tomorrow" I say with emphasis on the word daughter. I find that mentioning Ashley is a useful tool for getting a lot of men to lose interest. Jaime wasn't one of those men, and he seemed to understand, but he asked for my number. Not having the good sense to give him a fake one I scribbled my real number down on a napkin and headed out the door.

I was luckily enough that despite being way to drunk to drive, I was lucid enough to know that I shouldn't. I leaned against the side of the building, in the well lit area near the bouncer, and used my phone to call an Uber, because Detroit taxis are some of the worst in the country. I had brought along 60 dollars for drinks, and wound up not using any of it because drinks were bought for me all night, which was good because the Uber ride was about 38 dollars after a generous tip. I managed to make it into the apartment but not into the bed, just collapsing on the couch.

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I woke up the next morning to a voice standing over me saying "Where's the car?"

I looked up at Ashley, who had a look of worry and annoyance on her face

"It's in Detroit" I say groggily, yawning

"So you didn't crash it?" a tone of relief was in her voice

"I didn't drive it" I corrected her

"Responsible. I'm impressed" she said making me think that the real Karina might not have thought twice about driving home with 5 or 6 drinks in her. "Pull your dress down, your ass is showing"

I looked back and saw that she was right, my cheeks were out there for everyone to see. I straitened the dress and sat up, my once fashionable hair now in my face. Brushing it back I saw Ashley putting a mug on the coffee table.

"Whats this?" I ask

"Hot water, honey, and lemon. For that hangover you probably have" she said walking out of the room without ever looking back. I couldn't tell if she was disappointed or not.

-Lane