Given the amount of "Jordo really likes being a sexy bitch" content I put up here, it might seem like my going on spring break was a given, but it was kind of a last-minute decision. That stuff is a lot more exciting than "Yuan-wei's classes are a bunch of things I didn't study the first time I was in college", but it's not all easy As because I've done it before and have a bunch of essays stored on my old laptop. If anything, I was thinking of another trip to China - maybe not Hong Kong, but Beijing, because Yuan-wei did spend some time there and it might be smart to bone up on something that a young Chinese woman of means would be expected to be familiar with.
That was before I got an email from Chen Bingbing, one of the original Yuan-wei's best friends from Hong Kong, asking what I was doing for Spring Break. She's going to school at Columbia right now, and thought this would be a great way to hang out with me since neither of us has had time to take the train to the other's city over the weekend yet. So, with appropriately exaggerated sighing, I said fine, I'll fly south out of this cold and go party for a week, if you insist.
(Benjamin and Jonah would later tell me it got really nice in Boston while I was away, although not quite ''fearlessly walking around in a bikini" nice.)
The credit card I inherited along with my new passport is pretty nice - even though I booked my flight and hotel pretty late in the game and therefore had to deal with prices I would have considered gouging in my original life, it absorbed them like a champ and asked if I would like to use my points for an upgrade. Fuck yes!
The hotel I booked wasn't exactly five stars - as much as luxury is nice, being in some classy place far from where the other college kids were would have been missing out - it was pretty nice, with breakfast and laundry and a pool. Since Bingbing wasn't due to arrive until the next day, I decided to spend the afternoon by the pool.
After a New England winter, it was really nice to pull off my t-shirt, drop my shorts, and just feel the sun on my skin. I put on some lotion, pulled the music and Kindle apps up on my tablet, and just enjoyed the moment.
I've been starting to actively notice guys lately. I don't know how it works with other guys that the Inn turned to girls, but I didn't really find guys attractive visually until I started screwing them. I've got a theory that it's about my brain building associations, but that's kind of beside the point, which is that I only noticed the skinny-but-not-bad-looking white dude who walked by me with his phone at a kind of weird angle after the third time he passed or so. Then, my brain was still a little behind in processing that he had a bit of a chub and was kind of handsome - I was actually focused on the tech a bit.
''Hey, buddy, what kind of phone are you using to creepshot me?"
Probably not the way he usually hears that question. "What? I, uh--"
I made the "over here" motion with my hand. "C'mon, dude, hand it over." Ashlyn told me later that this sort of confrontation was usually a pretty bad idea, but I sort of sensed that he'd fold. It's not any sort of former-male-nerd thing; it's more that he seemed to want to be caught, like the bikini pics were a consolation prize, and having me notice him was first.
He handed me the phone, I swiped through his pics, made a comment about the camera and how the hotel had free wi-fi and he didn't need to burn the data plan, and then started tapping away before handing it back. He was pretty shocked to see the pics still there. Doubly so when mine vibrated!
"What's so weird? You can't get the whole body in a selfie!"
He seemed all right, but he kind of beat a hasty retreat when some of his fraternity bothers showed up. I didn't take it personal.
Bingbing showed up the next day and said to meet her at the beach, at that sounded like a great plan. I put on another bikini, some flip-flops, sunglasses, and a purse just big enough to hold my phone and wallet and headed out.
Walking along the beach, it's kind of hard for me to believe how much I freaked out at going to the beach as Deirdre, and whether I would have been this cool with it if I'd wound up staying like that rather than becoming Yuan-wei. I think so - she's a different kind of sexy but there's still a lot of reason to be self-confident there, and I think I just fucking like being attractive, and didn't realize just how angry people not having a good first reaction got me. Not everybody likes being whistled at, but it makes me feel good.
Chen Bingbing didn't whistle at me - she's not into that so far as I know - but I was glad to see her. She's awful cute, is really into fashion, and seems to really dig that I defer to her a lot on that now. I never really liked chatty girls before, probably because I often just took it for granted that they didn't want much to do with me, but even if listening to her go on want filling me in on stuff I could do with knowing, she's actually really funny, especially since she'll occasionally drop thoroughly unexpected Cantonese swearing into something innocuous.
We hugged - is it weird to both enjoy feeling boobs pressing against you and also feel gratified that yours are bigger? - and she talked stuff off about how America was so much fun, especially New York, although she also got really homesick. I told her it passes, trying to draw on becoming a stranger rather than moving away. Ironic, that, because that when she decided to introduce me to he new boyfriend.
You know that thing where a girl will get caught less dressed than she probably should be and then suddenly starts trying to cover up with her hands, even if they're way too small and she's wearing something anyway, just in case? I don't do that, because, like I said, I like people liking what they see and don't want to start things off by cowering - at least most of the time. Still, I made an exception at that moment, crossing my arms in such a way add to make sure my nipples weren't showing and quickly glancing down to make sure that nothing was perking out from beyond my bikini bottom. What can I say; Max's eyes went straight to my chest and I was suddenly really uncomfortable with my fucking kid brother staring at my tits.
I felt stupid right away, and reached out my hand. "Hi, Max. Small world, huh?"
Bingbing seeing her head between us in surprise. "You two know each other?"
Max was silently trying to figure out where he knew that chest from - really fucking concentrating, if you get my drift - so I told Bingbing the story we used back in September about how "his brother Jordan" and I played Call of Duty together until he got in shape and found other hobbies.
That rang a bell with Max, or at least he put on a good show of it. It gave me a chance to ask what Benny was doing with my life. Apparently he disapproved of "Jordo" just tossing everything he'd always done away to work in a gym and date a Hindu girl much more than our parents, although Bingbing defended him, saying that love and happiness were the most important things. Max kind of grunted, but didn't argue with the pretty girl.
It made for a kind of interesting week. It was kind of mortifying at first to not just have Max looking me up and down when he thought Bingbing wasn't looking, but he was also the one buying us drinks when we found a bartender who wasn't carding entire parties too diligently. Having the world think I'm younger than him is weird.
It also made one kind of a third wheel, and while I really didn't mind it - I was a whole hell of a lot more interested in what was going on with Max and Bingbing, together and separately, then whatever random guy got attached to us in order to even the numbers out. Some of them were Max's friends, which was kind of creepy. Not half as gross as Max clearly wanting to fuck me, but about a third of the way there. They probably thought I was a stuck-up bitch for how quickly I seemed to write them off, but whatever. I just can't see Max's friends as potential lovers.
Easy enough for me, but it leaves Bingbing with a friend who seemed way too interested in her boyfriend and Max with a hottie who is weirdly keen on just being friends. I'd be lying if I said it didn't create some friction, including this weird thing where Bingbing said she understood Max's attention, because as a Chinese-American he was raised with a lot of white standards of beauty, so his eye is drawn to girls with a few extra pounds, you know, in the chest and such. I try not to get too freaked out about being called fat - I know that's the most direct way to get at a girl's self-confidence and as much as I'd like to be immune to it because I have actually been flabby, I do worry about whether a New England winter has pushed me toward that.
I'm making this seem like a whole lot less fun than it actually was. I mean, it was a fucking blast!
Bingbing is awesome, and I'm not going to lie - I enjoyed sharing a changing room with her a few times. My brother got damn lucky the day he stumbled on her having a bit of trouble communicating in the campus bookstore, and I'm happy for him. I know that most of what I've written about Max hasn't exactly been complimentary, but I do love the little brat.
And, you know, it was spring break! Even considering that a huge chunk of the guys there were white fraternity assholes who might lose interest in Asian girls once they realize that their evening isn't going to turn into a fucking fetish video, there were still enough people worth a bit of attention that I want always bothering Max & Bingbing. And while I don't go out of my way to be a bitch, it is kind of fun to identify the sort of guy who decided to treat me like shit in school, get them to but you an expensive drink, and then go off with my friends.
And, hey, I got laid a fair amount too. It wasn't always great - I'd apparently been riding a lucky streak in terms of actually being brought to orgasm my first for times, and discovering what it's like to deal with a guy who just slurps at your tits before monotonously thrusting until he comes and then just rolls over isn't great. But, hey, I certainly kept one phone number for if I happened to be in Los Angeles over the summer!
Anyway, I was really glad I did it, even if I did really find myself missing my real family when I got back to Boston. Still, I did feel kind of refreshed when I got back here (just in time for the weather to sort of sick again), and it does kind of make me feel more like I am a college kid again rather than just playing one.
- Jordo/"Missy" Yuan-wei
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