I've been bored.
I knew this was going to happen when I agreed to not keep pursuing work opportunities at the event planning company. I don't feel good about just sitting still and doing what Kitty says. I'm starting to feel like this relationship is strained. I needed and outlet.
I remember a few years ago when Lauren's stepdad wanted to finish their basement and I offered to help, but of course, I was just a "teenage girl" what could I know about hands-on work like that? Nevermind that, if I was really Lauren, it could be valuable knowledge or, you know, bonding experience or whatever. I was dismissed.
Judith and Adrian's basement looks like they had some plans to finish it some years ago but life got in the way, and it's been in a half-done state since we got here. Every time I go went there to do laundry I considered the possibilities, and as February crept on I thought "Shit, I should do something about this." It'd keep me from going insane.
Kitty, predictably, didn't want me to fuss over it - that's money and energy and attention that could be elsewhere. But it would be a favor to J & A, a thank-you for giving us a safe life to land in when our fates were tossed to the wind or whatever. I know how to keep it under budget and the labor wouldn't be hard - It's mostly just me doing the drywall, nothing too fancy about it. I even invited him to help out if he so desired, if he wanted to do something "manly" around the house. He accepted, begrudgingly, but I think he felt he was just getting in the way and excused himself after a short time. I was getting lots done during the day anyway.
Despite his protests, it's been good for us... puts me in a good mood, and he's been pretty impressed with my skill (it's really nothing, I spent a few months on a construction crew years ago and can remember this and that.) I think seeing me with a hammer in my hands is a bit of a turn-on for him.
Once the basement was ready, we invited Samantha over for a painting party. She was impressed too and very surprised when I said I'd done the work myself. She asked if I did bathrooms, because she needs some retiling done. I told her sure, which Kitty grumbled about since Judith isn't supposed to be super handywoman, and what if I give her a reputation she can't live up to? But whatever, Sam and I need to bury the hatchet after I thought she wanted to seduce Kitty. It ended up taking a few days, and in the process I got to know Samantha on a one-on-one basis. It was really nice.
I think something's bugging Kitty. Maybe it's because we're getting to the end of this, and neither of us really knows what's going to happen except that we won't be "Judith and Adrian" anymore. I think we both have mixed feelings about it, since we've just recently found the right balance for us... or we're starting to. Maybe she sees me doing this kind of stuff as trying to say I want to be male again, which... let's face it, would be nice, but is out of my control. Male or female, I like to work with my hands, whether that's cooking, driving or fixing stuff. Would I rather be a female drywaller or a male office drone? I don't know.
It should be enough for him that I'm on record as saying that I'm committed to this relationship and I'm past the point where I'm just here because it's easy or necessary. I want to make this work. For once, I'm actually not screwing something up.
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