Monday, August 06, 2007

Trip / Kat - I have much to learn...

This evening, I realized that as much as I love purple... purple is "not my color"... it just looks... I don't know... wrong. The obvious red in my chestnut-colored hair and these deep-green eyes just don't work well with the purple nails. I feel like a freak.

I no sooner got sat down on the bed to take care of the problem when Kat called.

I've been getting concerned about what's going-on in her head - had I done something to make her mad at me... mad enough to ignore me. I asked her as much, she laughed lightly and told me to stop worrying so much. I told her about Frank and Dorris and their current situation of being without a body to return to, and asked her her thoughts about it. She paused for a moment and then suggested that we don't do anything... for the time being. That keeping everything as-is for now won't hurt a thing.

Again, I felt like she was less than enthusiastic to return to her own life. Tired of feeling left-out or being toyed-with, I just defaulted to my normally-blunt self and told her not to B.S. me - to tell me what was going on... what her intentions were regarding returning to the inn and her own life. The silence lingered and I thought she was going to just hang-up on me and leave me in the dark again. Then she sighed and confirmed a few of the feelings I've been having about her.

Kat told me that she hasn't been in much of a hurry to return to the inn - quite frankly, she's afraid of the place and that the return visit will turn out much worse than the first. I can't say that I blame her - and from the stories of others who have stayed there more than once, maybe Kat's fears aren't so unfounded. She also explained that she quite enjoys life as Pete, and wants to savor it as long as possible. Her wording caught me off-guard and I paused. I guess Kat was quick to sense my confusion, as was quick to point out that she can't give-up Pete's body until he wants it back. Something I hadn't thought about, and certainly not something I wanted to hear.

Kat told me that she wasn't sure why Pete was hesitating, but that it may have something to do with his brother, who seems to have no intention of making a return trip.

We really never got back to the discussion about the real Pete and his brother Chris, as my attention was jerked away to something a bit more personal and immediate. After removing the purple from my toes, I got a bit freaked-out when I discovered that my toenails were now a dark yellowish-brown. Thank God it was nothing major - just discoloration... and another girl lesson, learned.

After a quick Q & A with Kat:
  1. Purple is okay in the wintertime when "my" hair is darker... as long as I'm not going to be in a relaxed mood when "my" eyes are dark too.
  2. I need to use a base coat BEFORE I paint "my" nails, especially when using a dark color.
  3. Don't leave the dark shades on too long... like, more than a week, two at the most - or it could still stain "my" nails.
Like I said, I have much to learn. Especially since I'm going to be stuck here a bit longer than I expected. I'm just glad that Kat called and cleared up some of the fog that was enveloping my world. Too bad that I have to get up so early tomorrow, I would have loved to have talked to her longer - I really miss her, and I'm sad that she's so far away.

Which is a little odd, I guess... we really weren't that close... but now... I don't know, maybe it's just because I'm living her life now... but... oh hell, I just want to cry... I really miss her, I wish she were here right now.

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