Monday, February 09, 2009

Bryan/Ellie: No frills

I don't write here much because obviously Todd is the writer between the two of us. I try sometimes, when I can't sleep, I'll open up my laptop and log in and start trying to talk about life and stuff, and then I just hate what I come up with and delete it. It's not even really anything anyone would be interested, more about being in school than being Ellie. Todd's posts are more interesting, my life is boring. Ellie's life is boring. Whoever's life it is.

But I've been having a shitty day so I thought I'd at least try.

There's this supermarket in Canada - No Frills. It's a discount place, where poor people and cheap people buy discount no name stuff. It's where we did most of our shopping in Toronto and I both hated and loved it. The prices were low enough that you could get some good mileage out of your dollar (when you were a broke ass like me) but the atmosphere was... well, it was no frills. Like shopping in a warehouse - brightly lit one with yellow signs everywhere. It hurt my head. And the aisles were about a cart and a half wide so if you saw some soccer mom or old lady coming the opposite direction it would be a tight squeeze. Anyway though, that was my life and I liked it - no frills. Crappy apartment, cheap groceries, dirty clothes. Did all my shopping at Valu Village, where old people sell their clothes so they can be re-sold to hipsters. A good place for old t-shirts, frayed jeans, corduroys, jackets, plaid shirts, the kinda stuff I loved wearing. My life lately has been the opposite.

Day in day out I have to wear the private school uniform - white blouse, plaid skirt. Ridiculously short plaid skirt. I don't even get it - is the principal (or whoever makes these decisions) trying to drive the teenage boys crazy? I went to a public high school just at the dawn of the thong craze. When a girl wanted to dress slutty, it was by choice.

But that, I can handle. Not having to make decisions about my clothes is fine by me. And I'd be cool wearing granny panties all the time too, if Ellie had any, but no such luck. This is where I weed out the pervs, talking about a 14-year-old's panties. Most of them are too fancy for my care and it's not like anyone's ever gonna see them. But laundry gets down and I've gotta go through em all.

My friend Emily has been trying to get me to dress up more on the weekends. I usually favour like, a hoodie and jeans. Basic stuff. A few months ago I ran up a big tab on Trudy's credit card at Snorg Tees so I could have some clothes I liked wearing. She was annoyed but allowed it. Trudy's a champ like that, except when she's being bitchy, which is just about always. What a bitch.

Emily is starting to get really cozy with this guy, Mike, and it's pissing me off. I'd explain this to her but then I'd have to come up with a reason why. My first theory is that he's just a dick and I don't like him. He's a teenage boy trying to bang my friend. But then I thought - so what? I was a teenage boy once and I tried to bang plenty of girls. I can't blame him for that. Then I thought, he's coming between me and my only real friend. It isn't that Emily's the only friend I've got... I've made some progress with Ellie's old pals. I just prefer Emily because she didn't know Ellie (which is probably gonna suck for her once I'm gone.) So yeah, that must be it, right? Because she's spending all her time with him and we never hang out at lunch. Except actually, she keeps inviting me over for dinners and movie nights and sleepovers, and when we cancel, I'm the one who is pulling out. So if anything, she's being the good friend! And I suck!

Todd was no help either. "Aunt Annie" was basking in the afterglow of her sexual awakening when we talked about it, and she suggested I actually liked Mike. And I'm just like "dude, don't even go there." I really don't think that's the case.

I mean, okay, I did kinda cheer her on when it came to the whole Hal thing. But I mean, come on, she was sleeping in the same bed as him, and Anne Marie's been around the block. I go to school with about a thousand gross teenage boys. I don't give any of them a single look.

So I came home late, frustrated, and hungry, and Trudy won't let me have a snack because dinner's on the way. So I got up to my room and got caught up in this flame war on a forum about whether the new Springsteen album sucks (it doesn't,) and whether the new season of Lost is any good (it is.) And dinner's still not ready and the cat won't leave me alone and my tits are driving me crazy and I just spent about 15 minutes beating the shit out of Ellie's stuffed animals, pillows and mattress and crying my fucking eyes out. And Trudy didn't come up to ask what was wrong, and I don't want her to, but I think it's shitty that she didn't.

So yeah. There it all is. Life sucks.

I dunno man. Maybe you'll hear from me again later? Peace.


Anonymous said...

Dude, you've been through male adolescence, and now (in Ellie's body) you're experiencing female adolescence. Lots of hormones coursing through the body, screwing up your emotions and thought processes. Granted, the "fish out of water" element of being in someone else's body living their life doesn't help your mood, but to some extent your body rather than your brains are controlling your feelings. vice-versa

Anonymous said...

Ignore the "vice versa" in my last post. I neglected to delete all of a sentence I originally started to write.