Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tori: Under one roof

Since Buddy's job ended last week, he's been staying with me in Philly while we start moving my stuff over to my new place at Raine's. Sara's nearly moved out, so I can go over there anytime I want... I'm just having a hard time saying goodbye to the family.

I'm hoping having Buddy around will give me that motivation, because it's a little awkward knowing that dad will go down to the kitchen in the morning and see the guy who is banging his daughter sitting at the kitchen table. I mean, he's a cool guy and he takes it in stride, but I guess I imagine it's a front, like he'd rather not see that. I know I'd rather he didn't.

Really, it's been a remarkable step for our relationship. Before this, it was mainly about trying to keep the lines of communication open between sex. Now we're actually have to be together and do stuff. I mean, it's a lot of work. I'm used to having a lot of space and nothing to do, and now... it seems like we've always got to be doing something together.

I've been in relationships before. I never had sex as a guy, but I very nearly married my long-term girlfriend, so I know what it's like. I've just gotten so used to having nobody around that it's hard to update my routine. After the first few nights, we even started going to bed without having sex. I didn't know what to do. He wasn't even hard.

Now that I'm not working at the telemarketer, I was worried it would just be us sitting around the house all day bored, and then we'd eventually realize we didn't have much in common (totally not true) but I did get a new job. Thankfully it wasn't as hard as last time, because in the time since I've worked there I've managed to get enough new contacts and references that speak to me as a person (not just a hairdresser, as Tori was) that I got a job at one of the first places where I applied. This was especially weird since it was just past the holidays, so I wouldn't have thought it would be available.

It's nothing much, just a little clothing shop, a little boutique that opened up. I guess I got a bit of a feel for it since shopping with Raine. I've only worked like 20 hours per week since I started, but the girls there are really nice. The main catch is that they prefer we wear the stuff we sell, so I can't go to work in jeans and a t-shirt anymore (not that I thought I would be.) The clothes themselves aren't that remarkable, although I do look good in them.

Of course, this became a thing with Buddy, who's always tried to get me to dress sexier for him. I told him, here I thought I was sexy no matter what, and he says yes, but he'd rather I look the part. I just rolled my eyes instead of starting another fight over it. I think it bothers him when I make decisions that aren't based around him. That could be a problem later.

Sigh, this whole Houston thing. I don't know if I'm going to want to go, but I don't feel like ending it with him. And I really don't know if I trust myself going back to being single. Last time I was single, I was dead-set against going home with anybody, now I don't know that my judgment will be so intact. That's not a very good reason for keeping a relationship. And I really do like him. Maybe I love him, definitely when he's not being an asshead about my hair or my outfits or my job or my life. But do I "Houston-love" him? I'm getting ahead of myself. I won't even be done "school" until April. He knows I'll be here until at least then. I just need to keep the relationship afloat until that.

The family seems to like him. He says all the right things to mom and dad, he even won Mae over, so she doesn't judge me for dating him. Although if she nudges me and says "You should let him get you pregnant soon" again, I'm gonna smack her.

We're in a good place, I just need to be ready for it all to change.

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