So its a little after 5am on Wednesday morning and I'm happy to say that the curse kicked in a few hours ago. Those of you astute enough to read the title will know already that I'm still female, having turned into the body of Sharon Barco.
I knew the change was going to happen tonight. Ive been doing a modest headcount the whole visit and last night we finally hit lucky number 13. I dont know what exactly causes the curse to kick in, but I stayed up all night waiting for it, like a kid waiting for Santa in a weird twisted way. Its nearly impossible to fall asleep anyway around here when you know whats going to happen. Most nights I drink heavily to fall asleep, but not last night.
Around 2am I felt that "hard to describe unlike anything else" feeling of the changes starting, and I did what so many of us Inn veterans do and I stripped naked and ran to the bathroom mirror.
The first thing that happend to me was the rapid weight loss, meaning that whomever I was turning into was smaller than a size 16. Wrinkles, stretch marks, and cellulite were also disappearing so they also took better care of themselves or were younger.
I got about two inches taller but it stopped there, and the sagging off my breasts disappeared. When they stopped in a more perky position is when I realized that I was going to stay female.
My hair actually got a little shorter, which was surmising. As Dee i'd been wearing it about shoulder length curly in the back, very easy to style. This time the hair went halfway up my neck in almost a Bob haircut. It also turned a light brown and all my gray went away :).
Then of course came the awkward slightly painful experience of having your face change. Its almost like having to sneeze but the sneeze never comes. Or an itch that cant be scratched. You figure everyone's face is different and there are a lot of bones and muscles and tissues that gotta be rearranged. The eye color is the weirdest one of all. It doesnt happen all at once though, like it gradually changes. Mine went from greenish to what people call hazel. Once it was all done I was much younger looking. No crows feet or laughlines and very nice teeth.
This whole time the pounds were just melting off. You cant imagine how big of a relief it is to be fat for a year and then just to see it go away. It wasnt just losing weight though, I gained a little muscle tone. Definitely could see some definition in the legs and butt as well as the arms. But the best part of all was the abs. I'm now the proud owner of a six pack.
After the tingling sensations stopped I looked myself up and down. I'd say my age is a little under 30, much younger than Dee but slightly older than Priya or my original self. Still white, but slightly tanner than before. Clearly lives a fit lifestyle and completely hairless except for a "landing strip". No kids, or at least I dont think so. There were no stretch marks or lines that would indicate something was living inside of here.
I was broken out of my exploratory daze at around 4 am from the screams and shouting and general hubbub in the commons. This meant I had to get dressed, which posed a problem. I discovered yesterday that the biometrically locked laptop belonged to Alex, only his thumbprint was gonna get me the electronically recorded note that included the combo to their luggage. I wonder if their spies, I dont look that atheltic but I could see myself as a spy now.
Either way, I'm not getting dressed until I find Alex's body. So I put on a Dee nightshirt that covered everything but fit miserably and went out to calm everyone down and tell them what was up. Only when I got to the lobby I discovered that someone was doing just that. Apparently I'm not the only veteran here and this younger looking guy was giving out instructions on what to do. Eventually everyone headed back to their rooms to look at their notes.
I knocked on Albert's door and a man about my age opened. "Hi, I'm Dee from next door, or I was last year...its a long story. I suppose youre wondering where your note is..."
He looked at me puzzled. "No, Ive got my note. Says Im someone named Neil Pane from Arkansas. I cant go to Arkansas, Ive got a family" I reassured him and sighed, figuring that bitchy girl next door (whose name I learned was Malinda or Mal or something) was Alex. But when I knocked on her door a woman opened the door, looking distraught.
"Hi, I dont suppose there's a 'man' in there" I ask
"No, I'm not that kind of girl, who the hell are you?" She asked, looking pissed off in a mannaer that told me it was Malinda in there
"Dee, from next door"
"You mean the old chubby lady? Man did you luck out" she said in a patronizing way.
I was mildly offended but wished her good luck, I have bigger things to think about.
I went back to the room and began this post...I'll start looking for Alex's body in the morning. Hopefully he doesnt panic.
-Greg
1 comment:
Alex = Alexandra?
Post a Comment