After my little snit with Derek, I went into work the next day feeling totally drained.
I arrived at 10:00 to find a nice hot cup of tea waiting for me, courtesy of David, my co-worker.
It's some kind of berry concoction, I don't know the exact ingredients. It's Angie's favourite, and apparently David is under standing orders to bring one in whenever they are working together. I have to admit, it's grown on me, and the gesture is nice, but I feel like I'm taking advantage of him. He's refused my offers to pay him back.
I lifted it to my lips, which were still sore and sensitive from the night before, so I drank gingerly. David noticed my odd behavior and quickly asked me what was wrong.
I sighed, "Nothing, trust me. Just roommate problems."
"I see. You and princess perfect aren't getting along. What a surprise."
"Tch. She's definitely not perfect."
"I told you it was a mistake to move in with her," he said.
"You have no idea. She's just so entitled, she thinks the whole world revolves around her and she doesn't have to work for anything. She just really pushes my buttons lately."
I pointed out my bruised lip. He clasped his hands over my shoulders to get a closer look. "Wow, Ang, that's really not like you."
I couldn't focus on what he was saying. He's not that big of a guy, but he's tall enough that he had to slouch down to get eye-to-eye with me, and his mannish proportions reminded me how small everything about me currently is. Plus, he has a pretty rugged look that makes me feel embarrassed for dressing even somewhat daintily. He has a full beard!
We got to talking some more and he kind of went off about how "out of sorts" I've been lately. "You've lost your spark, you know? You lack energy, you lack focus and optimism, you're just not you. Everything you do is so withdrawn and tentative. Like you're worried about something all the time."
"Yeah, you could say that."
"It's just like you to worry all the time. I think Mona's become a toxic presence in your life. That's just my opinion, from the outside, but you really don't seem enthusiastic about the arrangement. And I hate to see you like that."
"Well thanks for your concern," I said, "There's just nothing I can do about it."
"Well there is one thing," he said, "And it seems like you haven't done it in a while."
My eyes bugged out. He wasn't suggesting--
No, he put his fingers to his lips to signify smoking marijuana. I breathed a sigh of relief, although this is also not something I'm up for. I mean, I hate to sound like a total prude or whatever, but I've never done drugs, I've barely even drank. But all this seems like a pretty big part of Angie's life.
So what to do... it's not like partaking in these habits ruined Angie's life, at least not visibly from where I'm standing. I know PSAs tend to exaggerate things, but I still have no urge. But either I keep on not doing it and people take note of how out of character it is, or I do it and I take another step in the direction of being "Angie" instead of Cal.
But maybe he has a point. There's a reason people start doing this right? And doesn't "suddenly turning into the opposite sex and being far from home" fit the bill? People smoke and drink to get away from their shitty life, so if anyone's got a good reason it's me.
I haven't taken him up on his offer - apparently there is a regular group from the store and friends that meet up for this sort of thing, so I'm guessing it would be okay just to tag along sometime, if I'm ever willing.
Talk about peer pressure, though.