Monday, July 13, 2015

Tyler/Lauren: Cinderella

Yeah, still Lauren.

With any luck the changeover will be tonight. I'm sick of sleepless nights, waiting to find out what's going to happen. I want my new life to begin already, whatever it is.

A few more people arrived at the Inn in time for the weekend, but curiously not enough to set off the magic mojo that we're here for. I'm trying not to let it get to me. It's going to happen... I still don't think Meg is right to get freaked. Sure, we don't really understand anything about it... but we've got all these patterns worked out, I feel like we can make assumptions.

All this to say I'm itching to get a new change of clothes.

One of the groups that arrived after us (bringing the total to 10 or 11 for the weekend) had something I really dreaded... a teenage son, Trevor. He's taller than me, but pretty average-looking, with shaggy black hair and the rank odor of an average teenage boy. He caught up to me in the hall on Saturday and told me there was an all-ages party in town that night. Okay, cabin fever is really starting to get to me, so despite this obvious attempt to put the moves on me, I agreed to go along.

Meg disapproved, but I told her we could fight about it later.

It was okay. We arrived at 9. There was a band playing a few songs I recognized, stuff like "Bittersweet Symphony" and "When I Come Around." I mostly sat around the patio making chit chat, gravitating toward the girls until the got picked up one by one by the guys.

By 11, I was feeling pretty antsy. Some of what Meg was saying was getting to me, about needing to stay around the Inn, how it was unpredictable and how me not being there could really mess things up.  I started to feel a bit self conscious... I may not be getting my body back like Meg, but I still plan to give Lauren hers. I thought about how Meg didn't even stay the night when she changed into Tasha... I wonder if I could have the opposite problem.

So around then, I went and found Trevor (who had made a few early, lame attempts to hit on me and then gave up) and told him I needed to go back to the Inn. He told me to chill, the night was just getting started, I was a big girl and my "sister" shouldn't worry about me. I told him I just wasn't feeling it anymore.

He told me to have a nice walk.

Ugh, okay. So in the moment I didn't really have a problem with this... it was a 40-minute walk back to the Inn, mostly in darkness, but I could stand it. But the longer I walked, the more I remembered I should probably be afraid. I have a certain amount of self-defence training, but I received it when I was bigger and could fight differently. Some basics are transferable but I guess I really wasn't thinking at first about how much of a target I could have been.

It hit me when I was about halfway home and I saw a group of guys coming the other way and I was seized with fear so strong I had to go hide in some bushes.

Now, they passed by, probably harmlessly, paid me no notice, and I felt not only the leftover panic-adrenaline, but also foolish. I wanted to sprint home, but I was in sandals.

Sometimes, being a girl doesn't agree with me.

When I got to the Inn, around quarter after midnight, Trevor's parents were playing cards. I debated telling them their son had left me to fend for myself, but instead explained that I had elected to leave on my own. I was pretty ashamed of myself, but they're going to have enough on their plate in the next few days... with any luck.

Today, Trevor feigned interest by asking if I had gotten home okay. Obviously I had. I asked him, coldly, if he had a nice time the rest of the night. He told me about this girl he was dancing with, "her tits were two-handers."

"How nice for you," I said, walking away. Meg and I had agreed to go to brunch with Rosie and Erin, and afterwards just lazed around talking about nothing in particular (which was a nice change of pace from some of the serious conversations we've been having lately.)

At one pint, Kitty came up to me and told me that I had woken her up when I came home the night before, and it was rude of me not to think of the others sharing this small space with me. I had to roll my eyes at that one. "Thanks for the input," I sighed in my most dismissive teen girl way possible, and tried to convince myself not to be glad if something really bad happens to her in the transformation.

This place is really starting to lose its appeal. The change better happen soon.

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