Tyler/Judith: Thanks, I'm sure

Thanksgiving was fixing to be such a madhouse that the real Judith - normally too busy with her temporary life up in Montreal to contact me unless there's an emergency - dropped me a line apologizing for the chaos I had inherited. Traditionally, Thanksgiving dinner is a collaboration between her and her sister Kathy, which essentially boils down to Judith doing all the work and Kathy standing around drinking wine and giving unhelpful directions. I was not all that impressed.

I haven't talked to Kathy all that much. Life is honestly busy enough when you're pretending to be someone else that keeping tabs on all the relations you've inherited is just a bit too much to ask. Judith is the oldest child, before Kathy (married for about 10 years with 4 kids) and Arlene (29 and not yet married.) We were also hosting Adrian's brother Kip, his wife Nancy and their two kids. Fitting all these people and three grandparents into the Walkers' modest home for Thanksgiving proved to be... difficult. And all the while, Judith's ma was saying in a thick Portuguese accent "If your father were will alive..." which cut me extra deep since if my father were here, he would probably call me a pansy for making all the food, and probably also the wearing women's clothing and sleeping next to a man at night.

Probably the best part of the holiday was Dylan, who decided he wasn't all that interested in getting to know Olivia's cousins and stuck by my side in the Kitchen learning to cook a little bit. Arguably, the kid was more helpful than Kathy. Kitty was also in his element, hosting and making sure everyone was comfortable, rather than ditching me and joining the "party." It's always nice to feel like a united front...

The worst part was Kip getting drunk and making an ass of himself. Toward the end of the night I found him in the bushes outside alternating relieving himself and vomiting. I sat with him a while - because honestly it was preferable to the crowd inside - and he unburdened himself to me a little bit... basically saying he wasn't happy in his marriage and wishes he could leave her for someone else. I muttered some stuff about commitment and sticking it out, although honestly it was probably all a bit rich coming from me. But here I am, sticking it out.

Eventually, the night ended. The relatives all headed home and all that was left was a huge mess. It was getting near 11 and I was exhausted.

Kitty started to pick up the plates and I told him to leave it for the morning and come upstairs with me.

We started to prepare for bed, mostly in silence as usual, as he pulled off his socks and I let my clothes drop to a heap on the floor. I always catch him eyeing me, as if he's still trying to decide what he thinks of the sight. I put on the comfiest PJ's Judith owns and crawled under the covers with him. And usually we're pretty distant... sharing this comfy queen-sized bed with a lot of room between us and separate blankets, but on that night I just... I dunno, needed the closeness of another human being. I got in close and cuddled up warmly to him in a way we haven't really done since we got here. And he didn't ask me what was going on because I kind of felt like he understood.

I don't know what this means or where it leads, but... it's something.