Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Simon/Joy: Stretch, Sully, the Big Guy and Teddy

I had sex again last night, big deal. Only this time I went over to the guy's place, because I didn't want Treena to judge (until she reads this.) It was kinda messy and smelled like a locker room... and is it weird that that turned me on a little? It was far from home, and I thought I could maybe spend the night, but I felt too awkward so I Uber'd home at 3 AM. Exhausting.

I could probably just keep hooking up with random dudes as long as I like - there's no shortage of bro's at the bar lining up to buy me a drink - but it's starting to wear me down. It's getting repetitive I'm not patient enough to set up a really good screening process so I usually just pick the first dude who gets to me, which is probably a recipe for disaster. I've thought about online dating, but I also don't like all the buildup and I'm seriously not looking to date, and all the guys who only want something casual on there are kinda... gross, tbh. But I have one last option. Work.

Some people are not into the idea of mixing business with pleasure, but those people are missing out on lots of fun. Seriously, you have a group of people you have to see day-in-day-out for years and you never even consider bumping uglies with any of them? Waste of time. Some say it causes workplace hostility, but only if you do it wrong. Plus there's something sexy about sneaking around, having a secret (lol, tell me about it!) and generally being naughty.

In fact, many years ago I had it hot and heavy with this girl from accounting. She dressed real conservative but she was a total freak. Loved anal and wanted me to tie her up once. Not that I'm up for any of that, but, you never know. She dumped me cold and I never fond out why.

So you might recall I spent the holidays with my co-worker Stretch. I honestly thought he was gonna make a move on me but if he wanted to he didn't try very hard and I wasn't up for it yet. Now that I am - and honestly I think I've been strutting around the office like a cat in heat for weeks trying to get some attention - and nothing. He seems shy, intimidated by me. Yawn.

I'd consider it if he would just man-up and make a move. He's tall and thin and clean-cut... kind of a Ryan Gosling look to him. I could go for that.

But he's not my only option around the workplace. In fact, there's three other guys I have a good relationship with: we flirt, we tease, we have long chats about the weekend. There's the Big Guy, who is so-called because he weighs about 300-lbs, and I know what you're thinking... sounds gross. But I think he's actually more athletic than any of the other guys because he hits the gym constantly. Good square jaw, looks like he used to play football in college. He just sweats a lot. He's vulgar and brash, and probably loves the fact that I can execute a perfect "That's what she said" joke.

Only, I think I saw him wearing a wedding band when we first met months ago... and now it's mysteriously disappeared. Not that I've ever asked...

Then there's Sully, kind of a cross between the two. A bit older than Stretch, and chubby but not "fat." We've teamed up on a few sales, and he is a smooth talker. He keeps telling me that one night, when he's free, we're gonna hit the club together. I have no idea what he needs to be "free" from... he does, however, have a face that looks like a potato and I don't think I could live with myself if anyone knew I had "hit that."

Lastly, there's Teddy. Honestly, besides the fact that Teddy is over 40 and looks it, he'd be the guy. Like, he's kind of who I see myself being in 10 years, and who doesn't want to screw themselves? Aloof, soft-spoken, but smart as hell and surprisingly funny. The man has been my idol, a bit, since I got here, and I'd be lying if I said he didn't occasionally pop into my head when I was "with myself." (Or with another guy.) But that aloofness means he can play hard to get... and I don't know if I have the patience to unwrap all those layers. I'm only here for a few more months so if I want something consistent, I need to act now.

In case you were wondering, Joey is dating some Filipino chick. Good for him, Asians are hot, but I'm not gonna deny that I'm annoyed that now that I'm ready he's off the menu.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Joy, be careful. A girl has more to lose when she's playing the field.