I mean, I guess there's no denying that I've had my sex and skin color changed - or that my mind has been transferred into someone else's body - but everything else just seems ridiculous. My girlfriend is actually about twice my age but style the body of a college student? My brother isn't my brother and hadn't been for the years? The person who was my big brother growing up has been my girlfriend's hot friend and now he's somehow younger than me? And before that, he was posting as his own girlfriend until the person who had become him got together with his roommate's fiancée, in part because his roommate was actually a girl who is now the person who became my brother? My head spins just thinking about it.
The thing is, I don't have to believe all of this just because I look like this Elaine Preston who has a full history online going back to college. There's no reason why everybody else I've talked to and heard about can't be the people that their IDs say they are and are just telling me that they're other people just to mess with me. I don't know why they'd do it, including the Jordan back in New York, but how much impossible am I expected to swallow? Maybe it doesn't make complete sense to say I think something might be up openly, but then again, I don't figure I should assume these guys are stupid. They've got to know I'm thinking this, even if I can't figure out why they'd tell me my body was being held hostage to get someone else to do something rather than me.
I guess I'm a little more calm and skeptical than I was last weekend. I'm not sure what impression the people reading this have of me from "Jordan's" posts, but I can be like that, having a pretty strong reaction at first before calming down and starting to actually think about things. And that's without crazy unknown hormones! Looking back, I think Bingbing (Giorgia?) knew this, and kept finding a way to wind me up on the trip from the beach to Boston without me realizing it, so I was hysterical by the time I meet Yuan-wei. I didn't get much chance to really stop and think until she left me to the bathroom.
I was a bit nervous getting out of my clothes, but the bloody nose Bingbing gave me had ruined my shirt, and once I could see my breasts in the mirror, I figured I might as well see everything and dropped my pants. Yuan-wei has a full-length motor in her bathroom, so I could see everything, and even though this body isn't really my type - I've dated Chinese girls almost exclusively - I kind of wanted the girl in the mirror to look sexy for me, though I want feeling it.
Or, more accurately, the woman in the mirror. Elaine's driver's license says she just turned 30, and she seemed to keep herself in pretty good shape (or made sure Cary did), but there are some lines on her, and when I cupped my breasts, they were a bit softer than what I'm used too, even considering that they're bigger. She didn't seem to have shaved or waxed her public hair in a while, either. It didn't really feel sexy to touch myself.
The shower was nice, though - Yuan-wei had a really nice apartment that comes with good water pressure and a fancy shower head, and while I wasn't really grimy, there was a lot of sweat and blood and all. The thing where you watch the dirty waste with all that stuff drain was a bit more hypnotic than usual, if only because I was trying to look past straight down. I had a hard time with my hair afterward, though - I got really frustrated trying to dry it with a towel, but wound up looking like some time-traveler from the 1980s after blow-drying it. Then I was kind of flummoxed with what was in the suitcase - all the kind of gender-neutral clothes needed a wash, I guess because Cary had worn those first, so I was left with jeans that took some effort to pull up over my butt and a camisole.
I put sneakers on over bare feet, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
Yuan-wei had taken a moment to get dressed herself, in loose-fitting slacks and a Mets t-shirt, probably trying to make me feel a little more comfortable. That ended when her eyes hit my chest. "Don't wanna be a pest about this, Max, but you might as well get a bra on now. I admit, I fought it for months, but even going from moobs to A-cups, it helped a lot. And I'll bet Elaine doesn't fuck around getting crappy underwear, which would be bad, since you're not exactly flat-chested." She started rooting around in the suitcase and found a couple, one cotton and another lacy. "Up to you."
I picked the plain one, went back into the bathroom, and got it on, with Yuan-wei helpfully telling me to just pull the spaghetti straps on the top down and to put the bra on backwards before turning it around. The result want quite a huge change, but I had to admit the support was nice - maybe I'd only been a woman for a few hours, but suddenly not having that tug was a pretty good feeling. It admittedly pushed more up a bit and gave me more visible cleavage, but I guessed it was okay for now; a little laundry and I could get into something more comfortable.
And, brother or not, Yuan-wei has actually been really cool about that. She's been helpful with practical things - even had pads in her purse when my period hit even though despite apparently being past freaking out about tampons. She seems to be running up a huge phone bill with her boyfriend in Hong Kong, although I wonder about what I'm supposed to take from that - am I expected to generously offer not to change back so that she doesn't have to break up with him? Tell her to go to the other side of the planet, I'll get by?
Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea; I've been at her apartment for the last two weeks, mostly just hanging out, and I'm starting to get antsy. Skimming the blog, it looks like most (aside from Jordan) try to live the new life they've inherited, but there's no job waiting for me in Chicago, and a good chunk of her family already knows and doesn't have to be fooled. So we've just been hanging out, and while maybe that's a ploy - it's a bit easier to go along with the idea that Yuan-wei really is my brother when she's swearing while playing Xbox with me - it's got me in a weird place of not having to worry too much about being someone else but not having anything else to think about. I'm not sure what my next step should be.