- As a woman I have discovered the joys of being promiscuous.
- I went out on several dates with a guy from work, Stretch. He was shy and never made a move on me, and I never made a move on him, and eventually he found out I was seeing other guys and called it off, trying to make me feel bad for being promiscuous.
- I wouldn't say I had feelings for him, but I was having some fun.
- There's also this guy at work named Teddy. He's a bit older, but he's in good shape, smart, funny, confident - all things I don't really think of Stretch as being. Everything you say to him reminds him of some awesome story of travel or someone cool he's known.
- He's not obnoxious or crude. He pays me innocent compliments and then gives me a sly wink. He's kind of who I want to be.
- He's never made any serious moves on me.
- Sometimes when I'm talking to him I get a little bit tongue tied and speechless. That almost never happens to me, especially since being Joy and I've been able to wrap every man I've met around my finger.
I was in denial for a while. It's Joy's body. It's not really me. I'm not really a chick and even if I like having a sex as a woman, that doesn't mean I have to... like guys that way.
One weekend, neither of us had anything to do so he challenged me to a game of pickup basketball. I'm pretty competitive even if as Joy my jumpshot is even worse than it was as Simon. He gave me one of those winks when I asked him to go easy on me, and it was like... fuck, there's a pool in my panties. We're both out here in athletic gear - I'm in basically a sports bra and spandex shorts for crying out loud - sweaty and full of endorphins and only a half step away from nudity.
I'm screwed. I want to be a guy again, I can't let anything get in my way and having "feelings" for a member of my same sex is definitely not on the menu. But I've been going through a dry spell these past few weeks ever since I realized my dudes were all just lazy and using me. But I've still got time for a summer fling, right? Maybe if we bang a little, it'll get out of my system.
I asked him if he wanted to go for a drink tonight. He said yes.
Now... what to wear...
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