And what's the point of that? We're supposed to be enjoying ourselves after all...
I called Rafe out on some of his less considerate behavior - he doesn't keep much in his kitchen in case his guest gets hungry, and doesn't put much effort into cleaning up. He insists I don't stay the night even though it means taking a subway home sometimes well after midnight and I am, as far as anyone knows, an easily-victimized five-foot-nothing girl. I guilted him into escorting me home once and never heard the end of it.
I wasn't even necessarily confrontational about it but apparently if you are female and express any kind of criticism toward your partner you're "nagging." Then he changes the subject and complains that he sees me "flirting with customers" all the time. I'm shocked -- "Name once!"
He points out an interaction I had with a regular named Jeff. He accuses me of batting my eyes and shaking my ass for him (behind the counter of a coffee shop!) Whatever he witnessed was probably just small talk, maybe me being a little nicer because I like to provide service to my regulars and maybe, I dunno, get more tips. I point out that that's called just being friendly, and even if it weren't - and even if Jeff didn't have a girlfriend who I've met - I'm allowed to talk to, flirt with, or go out with anyone I want. "We're casual, remember? That was your whole deal!"
Unsurprisingly this "casual" stuff seems like it just turned out to be an excuse for him to get all the benefits of a relationship while not just being lazy, but actually a jerk sometimes.
Men are insanely frustrating to be with. I take back anything I ever said about being annoyed by a woman I was dating, if I was anything like this (I was, and worse at times.) It makes me fearful about what's going to happen to me when I roll the dice again, and wind up as another woman in potentially a worse situation. Things could hardly get better, and I don't even hold my time as Valerie in particularly high esteem.
Part of me just wants to cut my losses, where Rafe is concerned. After all, I'm only weeks away from my next adventure. I'm already dodging him a bit., My main strategy for avoiding him is to take more of these side-jobs with Maddie. She convinced me to help on one of her house-sitting gigs this weekend, some millionaire from Westchester who needs their dogs fed. I have no idea how she meets these people or gets these jobs, but I admire her hustle... it's also very kind of her to ask me along because she's "mildly afraid of being alone with dogs in a big house." Fair enough.
She also keeps going on about how we should start our own business together, something to do with catering based on the knack I showed for it... because after all, who wants to pour coffee all day for the rest of their lives for no money? Not that she doesn't have a point, and I feel for her plight (and my own) and it wouldn't be a half bad idea if it weren't for, well, everything about my life. Maybe we'll get lucky and my next life will be in a position to do something like that, and I could somehow reach out and say I heard about her from a mutual... ugh, let's not put the cart before the horse here. I just want to make sure I'm still old enough to drive in a month.
I think you were better than you're giving yourself credit for, hon.
Not perfect... but better. <3
Hope all is well.
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