We had another softball game last night -- our first win, and I even managed to bat in a run with one of my patented grounders. I'm getting a bit of a groove, although my body is disagreeing -- I spend most of the week recovering from these two hours of physical activity. Maybe I should join a gym so that movement isn't quite so alien to me.
I'll admit, one benefit to that would be to get my mind off of........ everything. Presently, I work all day, then come home and flop down in front of the TV and it's all I can do not to think about my situation. Not just being female -- although there's still a ton of concern about that -- but being alone. Aside from the cat, the house is so quiet, and I'm finding myself becoming very restless and sad without Laura around. Being in a relationship is such a funnel for so much time and energy that when it's gone you don't even know how to expand and fill it yourself. Bad TV and junk food is all I've got, and that's no answer.
I have some contact with her, but it's extremely limited because Damon, of course, is a married man, and we wouldn't want to arouse suspicion. Which, I should say, I am finding extremely painful, probably moreso because of what this body is doing to me with hormones.
Today, Laura even stopped by the office. I almost had to look twice to know that it was "Damon" since I have hardly seen him since we got to Albany. I tried to keep my cool but then he stopped by my desk.
"So," he said, hands in the pockets of his slacks while he leaned on the doorframe, "I heard you're becoming quite the softball star."
"Yeah," I huffed, "They're calling me the Rafael Devers of the law office."
"I don't know who that is," Laura shrugged. "Anyway, I know we can't talk much here but... the wife is out of town this weekend, and I was hoping you'd be free for dinner on Saturday."
"The wife," I repeated bitterly, glaring at him under my eyebrows.
"Marc, come on," he said in a hushed voice. "I don't like this situation anymore than you do. We haven't had a chance to talk in a while, and we should."
I sigh. Damn, I was really hoping to go for tacos with Daisy on Saturday. "All right, let's do it."
She flashed me a smile and then dashed off, like nothing happened.
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