Saturday, September 09, 2006


When I first stepped into my new home I was immediately assaulted with questions and accusations. “Are you okay? Where have you been? Why didn’t you call? Do you have your part of the rent?” It’s was a difficult position to be in—these people knew me—or at least they think they know me--and I knew very little about them. Fortunately, the original Ashlyn described my new roommates on the “dvd letter”. Those descriptions proved good enough to allow me to bluff through the first initial conversations.

I have four roommates, two guys and two girls. The guys are Logan Stiles, and Dean Williams. Dean is an average looking guy with a medium build and sandy blonde hair. His most distinguishing feature is a permanent grin that is pasted on his face—it’s like he always amused by something. Logan was vastly different from Dean; it didn’t take being changed into a woman to realize Logan is a good looking guy. He is tall with dark hair and chiseled features. He also has the look and build of a guy who worked out all the time. I was a little concerned when I first met him because that description would also apply to Ross--the ex-boyfriend I had yet to meet, he is also friends with my roommates and could easily be at the house--and I was afraid of mistaking the two guys. Luckily for me, Logan was wearing a “City of Cambridge Fire Department” t-shirt—and I knew from the dvd that Logan was a fireman.

I found I was instantly annoyed with Logan. Even if I hadn’t changed into Ashlyn and was still Jake, he would be everything I was not—I guess I am envious.

The women are Billie Fraser and Jordan James (she goes by J.J.) Billie is small, with shortish brown hair, large brown eyes and a nice figure. She has a pixie-like quality. Billie also has a cheerleader-like perkiness about her, when I meet her she gave me a big hug. “Welcome home Ash!”

Jordan is classically beautiful. She has blonde hair, blue eyes, a really nice figure and an intelligent and stylish look about her. In contrast to my new self, J.J. has an elegant sexiness about herself, a sense of “class” that makes you think of dinner parties and operas—my new form is overtly sexual and makes you think of porn and strippers.

If I was still Jake, I might have pursued J.J., but oddly, I find myself jealous of J.J. as well. If I have to be a woman, why couldn’t I be more like her? I feel a bit freakish, like a sexy cartoon woman instead of a real woman.

So I am jealous of both Logan and Jordan for different reasons.
I am so screwed up in the head.

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