Thursday, June 07, 2007

Trip / Kat - So much for enjoying things

Periods suck!

My insides feel all knotted-up... not painful or anything, but still... uncomfortable.

There's not as much blood as I thought there would be.

I found more girl questions to ask, and I thought about calling Jadyn, but... this stuff seemed too... personal. So, I called Kat again - asked her a few pointed questions about... well... you know, about things I didn't know about... personal things... girl things.

I don't know what it was, maybe something I heard in her tone - anyhow, I lit into her... I mean, I was really letting her have it. I can't even remember what my rants were all about. Then I started crying. I lost it at that point, and just hung up the phone.

I cried myself to sleep. I haven't done that since I was a kid. The nap seemed to work though, I was in a much better state of mind when I woke... though, I wasn't sure what I was going to say to Kat - I couldn't believe that I had behaved the way I did to her. I've never gone-off on anyone like that for something that, now, seems so insignificant.

I guess I needn't have worried about Kat, she texted me with the answer before I even knew the question. Chalk my outburst up to my new hormonal roller-coaster.

Still, I called Kat back and apologized to her. She told me that she hadn't been expecting such intensity in my symptoms, but she understands that I wasn't myself. I groaned at the pun, but appreciated the effort to lighten things up a bit. After some discussion, we both attribute the intensity to my being thrown into womanhood, instead of growing into it... as I've had no time to get used to the way my new body works. Kat tells me it'll take some time, but that it'll be better once I get used to it. I'm not sure that I want to get used to it.

Before Kat hung-up, she told me that the period stuff will get worse before it gets better, but it's not that bad - she also gave me a heads-up on what to expect... as well as more advice on how to deal with it.

Ugh! Now I have a headache too. I am not enjoying this... at all.

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