Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Todd/Anne-Marie: My First Bra...

There's something about a chilly November afternoon that makes me want to crank the heater and lounge around in my underwear. Don't judge me, it's not like there's anyone else around. And maybe Anne-Marie's body has some, er, wear-and-tear from the kids, but she's still young and in half-decent shape.

Maybe I'm just weird but a lot of the time I'm more comfortable like this than when wearing Anne-Marie's clothes. Maybe because I'm alone and don't have to pretend or feel like I'm being judged on the authenticity of my Anne-Marieness. Maybe because after a while I get tired of the blouses and khakis or mom-jeans or skirts. I do wear the skirts, not often, but sometimes. But I guess I ought to take this opportunity to discuss something that might gain further insight into my perspective on female apparel.

See, that day at the Inn, when I woke up in Anne-Marie's body... it was shocking, it was horrifying, it was impossible to believe even as I felt my own tits. But as I moved through the day and eventually had to dress myself, well... it wasn't the first time I'd ever worn women's clothes. not the first time for a skirt or a camisole or a pair of panties or a bra. No sir. Not Bryan's either.

Back in the day - mostly in high school - one of the bands Bry and I played for was called the Mercy Mamas. I played bass, Bry played lead guitar, Tom Davidson played drums and sometimes we had a guy on keyboards whose name I forget. Bry and I shared vocals. Anyway, we had done a few open mic nights and were going to close the school's talent show when Bry had the idea of dressing in drag. For some reason - probably because I was high - I went along with it, and Bry went out and got all this gear - dresses, skirts, nylons, even bras and panties. He's always been a pretty extreme guy when he gets to something. Looking back I think he maybe just wanted an excuse to play dress-up even though there was nothing unusual about his behaviour while in drag. He didn't affect a character, it wasn't a Rocky Horror or To Wong Foo thing... he was just Bryan in drag, only slightly more outrageous than usual.

Because of the reaction we got - which was an incredible uproar from all the students - the principals banned us from ever doing the talent show again (this was our second-last year) but we continued to rehearse as the Mercy Mamas and eventually started playing gigs in little clubs near the University I went to. We were gaining some popularity when I decided I was tired of dressing like a woman - and playing bass, which I was never very good at anyway - so I left. Bryan, who basically just saw the band as a reason to hang out anyway, called it quits too, leaving us with an inexplicable collection of ladies' underthings sitting unused in our closets.

So if you were to ask me how I know how to put on a bra - or apply makeup, for that matter - there's your answer. It's not that I ever wanted to be a woman, I just always remembered the reaction I got at that high school talent show, and had been chasing it ever since. Now, there's nothing about femininity that looks shocking on me. It's depressing. And now I actually have to use the bra.

Ugh. Now I'm bummed. I think I'm gonna go put on some pants. A chill just ran up my spine and made my leg-stubble stand up.

-Todd/AM

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