Thursday, July 29, 2010

Greg: Wheres Greg? Part 1

So over the past few weeks, there's been commenters on Alia and Cliff's posts asking if they knew what had happened to me and where I was, and thats a legitimate question since its been 107 days since i posted last. Im gonna spend the next few nights recounting my story the best I can and answer that question, which is really pretty complicated.

The short answer to "Wheres Greg"? Im currently in Oxford, Mississippi. In the body of Dolores "Dee" Henderson. How I got here is a harrowing tale and easily the saddest thing to ever happen to me.

In my last post, I was all ready to fight back against Dee's bodytheft. I had laid out detailed plans to thwart her, including sending links of this blog to Amber and Heather to see if they could be convinced. This was to no avail, as Amber and Heather hadnt been transformed, they were subject to the curse and couldnt make sense of this blog.

But Dee could.

Turns out she saw the link on Heathers computer one night and read all about my plans. Seeing as I aws taking desperate measures, she resorted to desperate measures of her own.

I got the phone call April 19th, a week after my last post. It was from a restricted number. When I answered I heard my voice on the line.

"I just wanted to tell you that its over,and you lost" Dee said

"What are you talking about? Whats going on?" I said, trying to play dumb.

"Your little 'insurgency'. I read the blog, I know all about it. Its not gonna work because youll never get a chance to mess up my new life"

"What do you mean?" I asked shakily.

"Simply put, I ran away" She said. "I took all the money you had saved for the honey moon and ran away with heather. We eloped. As of 3 hours ago at the local courthouse, shes now officially Mrs. Heather Armstrong"

My jaw fell. "you cant do this!" i spat "Where are you now?"

She chuckled. "Like id ever tell you? And dont try asking your old parents where we went. I told them that one of Amber's friends was stalking us and that if she contacted them to call the cops"

I sat down in shock. "Youll never get away with this" i said softly.

"I already have" she said wickedly. "Now if youll excuse me im about ready for round two of my wedding night." With that the line went dead.

I cried myself to sleep. Cried harder than when I found out that Dee had dumped Amber. The sad, sick, sense of defeat consumed me. I didnt blog about it, like I had before, because I was mad at the blog. Mad at myself for posting my plans for all the world to see. If I hadnt made my situation public, Dee would never have done what she did. I mightve been able to stop her. That anger was why its been 107 days since I posted.

I didnt go into school the next day. I didnt go into school for the rest of that week. I was in no position to be around 5 year olds and I really didnt feel like pretending to be Priya for all the world. Fortuneatly Priya had a ton of sick days saved up, so I just told the principal I had mono.

What did I do that week? I stayed in. I cried. A lot. I also drank a lot too. Several times I threw up from too much booze, and most mornings I woke up having passed out, not remembering what happened. I didnt watch TV, because eventually Id see something to remind me of that situation. I didnt answer my phone. Only left the apt to get more booze at the liquor store at the corner. Showered maybe three times that week, all 3 times were to wash vomit out of myself and my hair.

What finally broke me out of my week long depression was, surprisingly, Amber. I didnt text her but once during the week, too much pain. Good friend that she was, she came over Sunday night to see how I was doing. When I answered the door she took one look at me and said "Damn, you do have mono". I actually laughed. More of a sardonic giggle, but I didnt burst into tears. Maybe I was all cried out, maybe I was just so used to pretending around Amber I locked into Priya mode.

Amber spent that entire weekend with me. She slept over. We watched movies. We reminisced. We did each others nails. And while that sounds like it would be painful, it was actually strangely helpful.

I think I had reached the last stage of grief, acceptance. Lemme explain: Dees phone call basically told me that Greg Armstrong as I knew and was him, was dead. He wasnt coming back, ever, and I wasnt going to get to be him and live out my life as planned. And thru the course of the week I went thru Anger, Denial, Barganing, and the other one so that by the time Amber showed up on Sunday I was acknowledging it.

Its weird to mourn your own death. But unlike a lot of people who died, I still had a few months left with the people from my old one, most importantly the woman I loved. Spending that weekend with her was oddly one of the happiest experiences Ive ever had. It was the realization that yeah, things were gonna be over, but they werent over yet.

I spent the next 2 months living it up. At least to the extent I could. Unlike most dying people I had to keep my financial and social situations intact because Priya was gonna get her life back. But Amber and I hung out like a couple of high school girls. Every day after work and every weekend we spent time together. It was like when we were first dating, minus all the sexual stuff.

Dont think I didnt think about it though. But every time I saw her in a bathing suit or undressing causally in front of me, my mind kept telling me to get turned on, but Priya's body would not co-operate. Still the closeness was memorable and much appreciated.

One night, after a bar crawl, we both wound up at her apartment, drunk off our asses and getting ready to pass out in her bed in our underwear (something that we had done many times before. Wasnt sexual but made me feel good anyway). As we talked to each other, lying next to each other, I looked deep into her eyes and drunkenly said "Im really Greg"

Apparently that moment wasnt right enough to break the curse, and she just tossed a pillow at me, giggled, rolled over and went to sleep.

Things went on like that for about a month and a half. A happy enjoyment of my last days in Chicago. It turned out to be really great for Amber too, as she was still emotional about being dumped. How weird that I was the one to comfort her over her being dumped by "me" Still, there was always that date with the Inn dangling over my head.

I was able to teach again. Actually getting some joy out of it. I was never really a kid person, but this past school year really taught me how fun they can be. I hugged each and every one of them on the last day and told them to stay in touch in first grade the next year.

I went back to yoga. I had long lost all the weight I had gained, but something about it was really calming. Like when I closed my eyes, it was just me, my mind and it didnt matter what body I was in.

Reality set in early June though, when Amber introduced me to Tony. Tony was a guy she had seen a couple times and I was the first person to meet them as an official couple.

I didnt know how to react to that. But really its not like I blame her. Her relationship ended 2 months beforehand, and in a very abrupt and rude manner. It was weird that she was getting over "me", but we hadnt been an Item since September and the "Greg" she was getting over was a vile bitch who didnt really love her. I felt helpless, but at the same time happy for her. Acceptance again, I dunno.

It was then that I started preparing for my return to Maine.

Ill post more in the next few days

-Greg (Always in mind and spirit)

1 Comments:

At 7/29/2010 11:16 AM, Anonymous Scott said...

Wow that's intense...

 

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