Saturday, July 23, 2011

Greg/Alexis: Have you tried turning it off and on again?

The other day I was struck by the realization that this is my 4th body in 4 years. 4. Im pretty sure thats a record on the Trading Post Inn blog, and probably in the top 10% of human beings all time. Changing into someone else is something that most humans would never and could never think about dealing with, and here it is basically my midsummer routine.

Ive gotten used to new wardrobes, new voices, new hairstyles and makeup patterns, new cars, new cities, new friends, and new tastes. I think though, the thing that I hate having to deal with each time is having to get used to a new job.

I really wish I couldve swapped into a rich person where I didnt have to work. I wish I couldve gotten off easy as Todd did when he was Anne Marie. I would love a year off, sitting around doing nothing. (Although from what I can tell, Todd did that before he was Anne Marie too). Malinda got off easy. Her job title is offically "artist". No kidding, that's what Sharon's tax returns say. She paints things and sells them locally. She isnt exactly successful but it seems to be her calling. I wouldve loved to be able to paint all day. Although any art I made would probably come out dark and strange considering all I've had to deal with in my life.

Anyway, back on point. Alexis' (Im gonna use her full name despite the fact that nobody else does because there's another Alex in another posters life) vacation time finally ran out and I had to go back into her job at McAllister Dairies.

M.D. (Not the real name by the way, but close. I dont want this blog appearing on the companies google hits) is not just an ice cream maker as I originally thought, although that is their best selling product. Apparently they also do cheese and milk etc. because apparently dairy and maple syrup are what keep Vermont afloat. Anyway, this is a dairy corporation, and its offices are headed in Burlington.

Alexis' official title is "Chair of Information Technology" because she is apparently a whiz with electronics. That is why I took as much vacation time as possible, because this job scared the heck out of me.

When I was Priya I was a teacher, and yeah that should be more scary than IT, it was only kindergartners and I had a couple months to practice. (and I did a bang up job, Priya tells me).

Dee's job was basically processing paperwork for a major state university. Not exactly high level thinking (which is why Dee did it I bet). I mastered that within a week.

But IT, I was not prepared to deal with all kinds of networking, software, and hardware issues that may arise with over 100 computers. I mean, Im a child of the 90s and came of age on the internet. Heck, I'm blogging. I'm computer literate, but not even close to as advanced as Alexis and her computer science degree. You should see her home computers, theyre amazing. Besides the expensive alienware laptop with a biometric thumprint lock she has a top of the line office computer and one of the coolest gaming computers I've ever seen.

Anyway, after reading as much as I could on the internet, I took the Range Rover into work. IT is a small office on the 4th floor with about 5 people including Alexis. They're all nice guys, and I say nice guys because they are all male. Dorks is the word to describe them but they are nice dorks, and clearly there is no sexual tension in the room. Apparently they are all aware of my orientation and totally cool with it, makes for a relaxed atmosphere.

The first day was a major relief. Turns out Alexis' job as IT Manager is mostly management. Any and all computer problems are delegated and assigned to one of the other workers and they take care of it. Its mostly records and payroll and reports. And since I managed a whole damn hotel in a previous life, 5 geniuses is a cakewalk.

Anyone British and or worldly enough to know where my post title comes from sees the parallels. "Have you tried turning it off and on again" is a catchphrase from and English comedy called "The IT crowd" which is about a woman who knows nothing about computers who manages her lovably nerdy friends in the IT department. My life is not nearly as comical as hers but its nice to know that I'll be able to BS my way to a paycheck and not have to deal with living on the street.

On the whole Malinda front. I'm still exiled to the couch, and I say that not because I wanna sleep in the same bed as her, because I dont. Sharon's body is gorgeous but Malinda is on my nerves so much that the attraction is nullified. I'd at least like 3 days of the week though.

She's stopped randomly crying, at least from what I've seen. She doesnt paint though, so she spends most of her day watching TV and spying on her old life via Facebook. The place is pretty dirty though because she DOESNT clean. I dont know if she was dirty before, had a maid, or just doesnt care in this life, but I dont know if I can work 40 hours a week plus pick up after her.

I'll giver her a little more time to get over it though. Ive got enough to worry about without starting a confrontation.



Anonymous said...

From what you've told us it sounds like Melinda isn't a very pleasant person. That said, even unpleasant people need a friend sometimes. Maybe you should try doing something nice for her and if that doesn't work then give a crash course in reality.

Tori said...

Loved the IT crowd. Hated dealing with stupid office workers in my old life.

Now I'm just a lowly database manager, which is less stressful yet also less interesting.