I'm no good at dating, I think.
I'm pretty good at being in a relationship. I think I'm so used to that that on a "date," I come on a bit strong and have overly high expectations on my date. My showing last night was pretty embarrassing, I can't even remember what I was babbling about. I don't think it went well.
I felt like a lot of the chemistry we had on our first meeting was suddenly gone, and I was talking to a different person (and don't think for a second that doesn't give me pause!) Yes, he's into some nerdy things like Doctor Who and Game of Thrones but he's not like the kind of "nerdy" guy I like, he's also really into sports and spent half the night talking about the Eagles and UFC.
I was going to make a joke about how it's a good thing I'm not a guy anymore, but I know for a fact that it's possible to be a charming, likeable, successful guy and not give a damn about football. Sorry, gents.
So I sat there, trying to nod along politely and remember what I liked about this guy. He's handsome, fills out a suit well, and pretty funny (when we're talking about a subject I understand.) I could do worse, and I hadn't been with anyone in six months...
So I went home with him.
It was pretty impulsive, I'm usually very guarded, especially lately, but I just needed to blow off some steam and remind myself what I was in this for. I still hadn't made up my mind as we were walking up to his apartment - I could've walked away at any point - but we got through the door and the place was neat and tidy and I figured, hey, this guy's got it pretty together. And in the light of day I'm thinking it's a little sad that that's my only criterion.
So I kissed him, and he wrapped his arms around my waist and guided me to the couch and I climbed on top and we started making out, and surprise, he started feeling me up... so I felt him up (and down) and well, you know how it goes.
I considered staying the night, but he said he gets up at 6 AM to go running, and it was OK if I wanted to put up with that, but I was also welcome to leave, so I did because I felt like I could use the sleep. I figure we'll work out our next steps from here. It's kind of nice to be back in the game. I hope I manage to get into the groove more, and we start to gel after this.
It's so good to have you back writing again. I certainly hope that doing so helps you work through these life issues -- big and small -- that you're going through. I hope the other transformees of the Inn could feel the same.
Remember, you have sympathetic people listening, reading, rooting for you. So glad to see two posts! Please keep us updated, and we'll show you the support you deserve.
You've been figuring out how to live as a girl. You just wanted to see how it was doing it with a black guy. Novelty's worn off?
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