After our date, I waited for Irwin to get in contact with me. My experience with guys has usually been pretty positive, they've liked me when I've liked them. We didn't play head games and test each other. So I got a little irritated when a week flew by and Irwin was still pretty dodgy about when we were going to see each other again.
And then some more time went by and I realized we weren't going to see each other again. That was it. I was a one-night stand to him.
I reminded myself that I wasn't that into him to begin with. All the chemistry we had at first completely disappeared when we actually tried to go out on a date. Yes, he was smart and handsome, and the sex was... good enough, I guess? I thought it was worth a try. Apparently he didn't. And I feel like an idiot.
When I was a guy, I didn't do that. I wasn't that guy. I was way too intimidated. But I wanted to be. I remember feebly trying to hit on Alia when we first met at the Inn. My friends maybe weren't pickup artists but they weren't doing badly with women. And since I've been a woman, I've been pretty good at sensing which guys were really interested in me, and staying away from guys who just wanted a night.
I don't know. I realize, it was sex, I got my end of the bargain too, and there were no promises, I just figured there was still some potential there or at the very least a second date so I could decide. But he made his decision, and fair enough. It's not like he lied to my face, he just took the easy way out after. And this is a pretty mild version of what a lot of women have to put up with.
Look, I don't want to have to go out and find a new guy every time I want some action. All I want is some consistent attention from a guy I actually want to be around. My last two relationships totally spoiled me. I'm really not a one-night stand type of gal.
Having said that... it's got my hormones worked up into a frenzy because suddenly my body remembers what I'm missing out on. I can't seem to win!
Tori problems. Thanks for listening.
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