Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Tori: Chat

"Randi" has Requested Your Friendship on Facebook. Accept? (Yes.)

"Randi": Hey... Tori.

Tori: Hey Thom.

"Randi": Sorry we acted all weird. we really weren't expecting... any of that

Tori: Me neither.

"Randi": I've been reading that blog you showed us. Maybe someday I'll write something about our whole experience.

Tori: It can be therapeutic. Sometimes I worry that I overshare. The people on there know a lot about my personal life... lol.

"Randi": I can't blame them. The things you've been through... well, I know. I've been there.

Tori: It's weird, isn't it? So different.

"Randi": Yeah.

Tori: At least you had Sara to go through it with. I had to rely on basically strangers. Friendly people, but not people who knew who I used to be. I think that might be part of why I ended up sort of... becoming Tori, the way I did. It was evolve or die.

"Randi": I guess. Sara and I fought a lot for a while after it happened.

Tori: Oh? I'm sorry to hear that.

"Randi": I mean, it's not a big thing, but it kind of shook the whole foundation of our relationship, you know? It took some getting used to. Looking up at him, this guy who used to be my little Sara.

Tori: So how long was it before you two... you know. If you don't mind me asking.

"Randi": Haha. Not long. I mean, we HAD to see.

Tori: I can respect that, haha.

"Randi": What about you?

Tori: Oh, it took forever for me to even feel myself up. I was a prude. I was afraid I'd like it.

"Randi": Well, yeah. When you're a guy, and you're used to a certain thing... admitting that it's fun from a girl's side is, well... dangerous.

Tori: Yeah.

"Randi": I'm ready to go back, though.

Tori: I understand that... but I'm really worried that you're not going back to what you thought you were. It might be a trick. Did you read my entries about the end of my relationship with Alex? And the real Alex?

"Randi": Yeah. But I have to take this chance. I can't be this woman for the rest of my life. Even if it means hopping from one body to the next, I feel like there's something better for me out there.

Tori: Does Sara agree?

"Randi": At first she did. When we thought we were getting our bodies back, she was all for it. Now, you've put doubts into her. She thinks it might be safer to stay.

Tori: Would that be so bad?

"Randi": I just don't see much of a future between the two of us like this.

(I start a half dozen responses but keep deleting them.)

"Randi": I thought I was pregnant for half a second, six months ago. I freaked out. I can't do this, Tori. I can't be the woman for her.

Tori: Wow... surprisingly, I haven't been through that yet.

"Randi": It was the worst feeling on Earth. I felt so stuck. I felt like I was dying, like the real Thom was dying. I didn't want her to touch me for weeks after that.

Tori: I don't know what to say.

"Randi": Just tell me you understand.

Tori: I do... when I was told I couldn't go back to being Cliff when I fully expected I would, I was in complete shock, couldn't breathe, total panic attack. But here we are 3 years later...

"Randi": Would you want to get pregnant?

Tori: No... but I also wasn't almost married. We lead two very different lives, Thom.

"Randi": Why are you so intent on making me keep this life?

Tori: Because I want you and Sara to be happy. Together. You're my friends and I know the lives you're in right now aren't bad. They aren't yours, but they aren't bad. And yours might not be possible, ever again. You take that risk? Who knows where you end up, or how long it is before you get back to that Inn.

"Randi": No offense, Tori, but that's why you were such a loser when you were a guy. You just accepted things. You didn't go after girls when you wanted them. You didn't fight when someone stole your body. You didn't want to disturb your comfort zone and now you're trying to convince us to do the same.

Tori: First off... fuck you. Second, you don't know anything about what's going on.

"Randi": And you do? What the fuck do you know that you haven't already said?

Tori: I know better than to mess around with shit that's so far beyond my control. Good luck when you go back to the Inn, but do everyone a favor and don't drag Sara back to it.

That's where the conversation abruptly ended, and I just stared at the screen for a while before I decided to post this. Draw your own conclusions.


Anonymous said...

Hmmmm....well, it also sounds like someone is trying to convince you to take another gamble. Desperate, I think, and a little....nefarious.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... yeah, it could be the price to get their lives back is they have to get you to go back to the inn. It seems the whole system these people have set up is designed to use the people who want to go back as agents to convince others to go. They really seem to like preying on weakness.