Thursday, May 26, 2016

Simon Woodford: I found this survey on the floor of my hotel room

"We invite you to post your responses to this survey at any time during your stay, to our online guestbook at the e-mail address provided. The more detail the better, but please note that your responses will be publicly viewable." Ok... seems legit...

Name? Simon Woodford

Age? 31

Place of Origin? Cleveland, OH

Occupation: Sales and marketing, Aldine Solutions... we sell industrial goods (machine parts, construction, etc etc.) Not exactly exciting, and it's not a huge company but we're looking to expand and right now I'm the top representative. Not that I'd say I have a passion for the product, I just like selling whatever gets put in front of me, you know?

Relationship status? I have a few girls I can text back in The Cleve, but nothing serious or long term...

How would you describe your physical appearance? Weird question for a customer service survey. Um... I'm 6'1, short brown hair, brown eyes, stubble... I wear glasses when I drive... if I'm being hard on myself, I have days where I seriously feel the need to measure my hairline, and maybe my abs could be firmer and I could shed a pound or ten, but I do OK with the ladies so I don't really feel the need to worry about it.

Have You Visited The Trading Post Inn Before? Nope

How Did You Hear About Us? Was booked by my company, basically wasn't given a choice... like, "Here's the cheapest room we could find in Maine on short notice, have fun!"

Reason For Visit? Sales convention, networking, and a good old fashioned vacay if I can fit one in. Basically, my company is looking to expand its presence nationally, and guess who got tapped on the shoulder to make that happen. But hey, it's a free week of sun and fun by the beach... if it stays warm.

Are you traveling alone? Yes, the company put all this trust in me... what a big shot I am!

How would you describe your experience with the Inn so far? A little rustic, I don't usually go in for the whole "spooky ancient hunting lodge" vibe... but I guess I could see it as romantic, in a certain light... if I had anyone to bring back here. A lot of rooms jammed into a pretty small space, so I'm worried about noise but so far it appears I'm the third or fourth one here and we're all keeping to ourselves.

Have you interacted with any of the other visitors? See above... except the middle-aged lady two doors down gave me the side-eye as I was heading into my room. She looked like there was something she wanted to say to me, but couldn't bring herself to. Methinks I've spotted a cougar in the wild...

Upon arriving at the Inn, did you discover any luggage left behind by previous visitors? I take it back, that is a weird question. This happens often enough that they need to ask about it? How about a cloak room, guys. No, I've now searched my room from top to bottom and there's nothing there. It's just as well. I'm the kind of guy who will totally skim money from a wallet if I find it. (Should I be admitting that? Pfft, who cares. Nobody's reading this I bet.)

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