Is seeing Dropkick Murphys at Fenway Park (well, the connected music hall) on St. Patrick's Day weekend the most stereotypical college male thing imaginable? Maybe. But my roommate Griff bought four tickets last fall, but that turned out to be super-optimistic: We actually lost a roommate over winter break - not lost like "dead", but like "his grades were terrible and he figured maybe he'd be happier as an electrician than an electrical engineer" - who was going to use his second pair, and asked me if I'd be interested. I wasn't, at first, but Hildy thought it would be a lot of fun. So we said we'd take them a couple weeks ago, and he put the other one up (purchased for the girl who got back with her high school boyfriend over Christmas) on SutbHub or something, and I didn't think a lot of it.
Then, at around noon on Saturday, I get a text from Mack, saying she's at Alewife, and was I up to anything? Hildy was doing something with lab partners, and while I had figured on studying all afternoon myself, I was already looking for excuses not to, since it was kind of a surprisingly nice day, so I said why not; we'll meet up at the Common.
I was scrolling on my phone when I heard her call out and looked up and did a little blink. It's been almost a year and a half since I've seen her in person, and she sure hit me different now that she's seventeen and I've kind of accepted that I'm probably going to live out my life as a man who likes women. She was wearing blue jeans that had rips up and down the legs from how tight they were, high-top sneakers, a white crop-top and a full-zip hoodie tied around her waist. Maybe a bit too much makeup, but her short haircut was cute. "That's not a college-visiting outfit."
She laughed. "Yeah, like I'm getting into some fancy Boston college! Nah, just down for a concert tonight." She grinned for a second like she wanted me to ask what before blurting it out. "Don't laugh, but I'm seeing the Dropkick Murphys."
I folded my arms, kind of suspicious. "Really."
"I know, it is so white it has bagpipes, but look at me. I am in fact just that white, as far as anybody can tell, and not only did a guy in my class put them on a playlist for me, but I should probably make some effort to get in touch with the Irish hooligan roots everyone will assume I have when I go off to Springfield on my own." She shrugged. "Besides, Jonah is getting married to a great guy i would have met if I'd been staying with Momma during quarantine, and every once in a while the invitation on the fridge makes me want to scream. It's good screaming-at-injustice music."
"And you didn't know I was going to the same concert?"
She started to open her mouth to reply, but held it like that for a while. "I think you might actually have put it on my radar by putting it in the group text, but aren't they playing all weekend? Anyway, we're probably on opposite sides of the building." Without it needing to be said, we pulled our phones out and brought out the ticket apps. She started laughing even harder when she saw we were two seats apart. "Oh my god, what are the motherfucking odds?"
"Yeah, my girlfriend's going to find this hilarious."
She gave me a look that seemed to be trying to imply she was wiser than her years. "C'mon, Ande. I may have been that kind of bitch before, but I haven't been in a long time. And you're still a kid to me."
"Is that what you thought when you offered to, you know..."
Her eyes went as big as they could, and then she shook her head. "Damn, I did offer that, didn't I? I mean, mostly it was about making sure you didn't miss out, but, let's be honest, the teenage part of me did have a crush on you. You are good-looking and it would be nice to be with someone who knows, but, honestly, I've had three high school boyfriends and it's great fun until they do something that makes me go 'that's so cute', and you're kind of doing that right now." She folded her arms and smirked.
I raised my hands in surrender, we declared a truce, and then went to find ice cream before hitting Newbury Comics and other places around Quincy Market for the afternoon.
I guess I'm not supposed to find shopping that much fun as a guy, and I know that when I'm getting stuff for myself, I'm kind of happy to just see what's got a good price at Marshall's (when I'm not at home), but i don't know if that's all I need as a straight guy or if I know how much fun I could be having and don't want it to bring me down. I haven't really had a chance to be "dragged along" with Lindy yet, but I had a good time with Mack, and I don't think that because she was giving me some sort of treat.
Somewhere around or four I texted Lindy that I'd run into a friend who was also going to the concert, so maybe we could grab dinner. Mack suggested a Mongolian barbecue place after seeing that all of her other go-to places from when she lived in the area were gone. She was starting to say something about that when Lindy arrived and gave us the look I'd been dreading. "I didn't realize 'Mack' was a high-school girl."
"Oh, yeah, my family wound up vacationing in her hometown for a couple summers in a row and we wound up hanging out." It didn't sound weird to me, and Lindy shrugged it off. Eventually, Griff showed up, we ate, and wound up at the show
Which was a lot of fun! I'm not sure I would have been into the band as Andi, but Mack's right in that it's the sort of punk you can yell with but still be having fun because, like, the first song of the concert was some sort of Revolutionary War-era thing about making out in the servants' quarters or something like that and they've also done deep-cut baseball songs, although Griff said they didn't do either of the big ones that night (unless you count "Shipping Up to Boston", which, I guess became a pitcher's entrance music because it's about dismemberment).
Griff and Mack hit it off, at least, although I didn't realize how well until I realized Mack was still heading to our apartment while I turned off to head to Hildy's because her roommates were still on spring break. She had an early morning call with some overseas classmates, so I went back to my place in the morning, where I found Mack making coffee in her crop-top and panties.
"Fun night?"
She smiled. "Let me tell you, 19-year-old boys don't really know what they're doing, but they can do it all night! Trust me, I know from both sides of this! Anyway, want a cup?" I nodded, and she poured two.
"Cary going to be worried?"
"Nah, he knew I'd be staying over somewhere, probably here, although he'll tell anyone who asks that I found a hotel room when the concert didn't finish before midnight." She smirked. "Kind of hoped it would be with you, but you really like your girlfriend."
I stopped drinking my coffee but still held the mug in front of my face. "What?"
She sighed. "I'm awful. I told you, I get frustrated about my boyfriends being kids, but I tell myself that the real problem is I hate lying to them - which, let me tell you, is kind of new, because I absolutely was that bitch the first time I was in high school - and I figured, hey, maybe Ande will get me. But, no, you're really into Hildy, which is sweet, but, annoying." She took a sip. "How do you do it? Like, ever since that first time at the Inn, I've always been with people who knew I wasn't really the person they see, but now I'm looking at college in Springfield, and while I'm kind of psyched to be the first person in my family to go, even if it's the long way around and Momma and Karla will never know..." She held out her arm. "I mean, look how pale I am at the end of the winter. Am I just going to start thinking of myself as a white chick once I've got nobody who remembers me being otherwise?"
"There's worse things to be."
"Oh, you know I don't mean it like that and you're my favorite white girl!"
"Whose dick you were after."
"Right! Where am I gonna be if I don't have people bringing me back down to Earth?"
I laugh. "I know. Maybe you could come to First Thursdays, after you graduate?" I told her about the regular meet-ups at the Changeling.
She seemed about to say something when Griff came out of his room, and we looked at each other a bit disappointed that we were going to have to start talking like normal people, improvising together on the fly when he asked why we'd never hooked up. Girff asked if we wanted to do brunch, but Mack said she kind of wanted to drive, so she got her pants on, let me walk her to the Hynes station, and gave me a little peck before heading to Park then Alewife then points north.
I've got to admit, it's been hanging with me the past week, especially when I looked at Andie's pictures of herself in a bikini at spring break and thinking how she really doesn't have much reminding her of her old life when Mom and Dad aren't around, and maybe that's better that feeling I'm lying to Hildy. It doesn't happen very much - although I kind of wonder how she parses me being happy to talk about my family but not really telling any stories from more than a couple years ago - but it does, occasionally, and, heck, sometimes I wonder what Mack thinks of me always calling her "Mack" when I know she's Krystle, and whether I'll wind up somewhere where I'm just this guy and nothing else to anyone else in a couple years, to the point where I might try and do something I know is wrong to not entirely disappear inside being "Andrew".
-Ande/Andy/Andi
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