Tonight... Last night? When's it flip between feeling like today and feeling like tomorrow? So, technically last night was the wrap party for Dominic's latest movie. It's kind of a big deal for him, not a big part and he actually fucking dies, but he's got a couple good fight scenes and maybe more dialogue than a few of his parts put together, and it seems like it will get people to consider him for bigger things. A lot of people initially joked about me being his date to a wrap party because my job is just starting, because there are a bunch of wires to digitally remove and half a car chase to render. But, it turned out there was a point to it!
Just as the evening was starting to get to the point where people start to leave, Dominic stood up, started talking about how everybody on the set had been really kind to a guy like him still finding his feet, raising his glass before mentioning me, and how I not only made extra sure that he looked good in post, but opened my apartment to him when he was injured, even though I clearly liked my space, looking out for him and encouraging him all through rehab. It felt good, but I figured everybody already knew all that shit, and was quite taken aback when he said he never wanted to go without that again, got down on one knee, and pulled out a ring, asking if I'd marry him.
I don't want to repeat too much of what Krystle has said about how absolutely surreal this feels, but it took me a second to respond. It's not just the tiny kernel deep inside me that thinks that I'm a straight man and another one asking this of me is just gross, it's... Look, I was not always a great guy. Annette and Krystle will sugar coat it with things that are technically true but not nearly as positively-motivated as they make it sound, but even after being with Dominic for a couple years, I tend to think people hang around for access to the great tits I inherited and because I encourage getting manhandled a bit, though I stop short of liking it rough. The idea that a potential movie star wants to tie himself to someone who is Jordan Chang inside is insane.
So I said yes, obviously. Everybody cheered, he put a ring on my finger, and we kissed like there was nobody else around. Then they told him to to take me home and... Well, Cantonese can be a really filthy language.
We were on the sidewalk with me getting my phone out to call a rideshare so we could go home and do that thing, when I realized we were unusually alone for this city, and on neutral ground, so to speak ("our" apartment is still kind of "my" apartment, after all). I took a deep breath, said there were things about me that I could only have him believe now, starting with how I wasn't the original Lee Yuan-Wei. Then we got into Jordan Chang, and the Inn, Ravi, Annette, Benny, and finally Missy Lee. He laughed, of course, and I said he didn't have to believe me, but I was going to call the Changs in New York before Wang Chen-Ai in London, and wasn't it weird that she couldn't speak Cantonese or that I was so close to these New Yorkers even though I went to college in Boston? The timelines didn't add up for me to be Max's ex-girlfriend, even though that's the explanation we usually used to explain how I knew my family. Me being born a Chinese-American guy explains a lot about me, doesn't it?
"So, you're really a man?" He had that look somewhere between disbelief and queasiness.
"No, I was a man. Now I'm a woman, and have been for years." I shrugged as questions appeared on his face. "I know, that's not how it usually works, most trans folks talk about always knowing who they really are and doing what they can to align their body with it. Trust me, I've read everything about the biological basis of gender identity and sexual orientation that someone who got a B-minus in high school Bio can understand, and there just hasn't been a lot of research on people who have their bodies changed by a cursed inn!"
I probably sounded too flippant to be serious, or maybe he just figured this sounded like the sort of weird fantasy I'd be into. "So I'm marrying a cursed American man." He sounded more like he was playing along than absorbing something shocking.
"Well, that just kind of how people refer to it; I personally don't believe in magic and curses and shit like that."
"Then how...?"
I shrugged. "Dunno. I used to be big into simulation theory, figuring that the computer program for which we're all NPCs had some sort of exploit or bug that redirected the pointers to the data for our physicality, but that's kind of just describing how magic works in the simulation. These days I kind of figure there's some sort of machine under the Inn that releases a bunch of nanobots meant to alter time travelers or aliens so they could fit in among the locals, but if I read a book like that, I'd say it was full of holes. It just kind of doesn't matter. What's important is that I like who I am and don't want to hide any of it from you."
I stood on tiptoe to kiss him, and he didn't pull away or seem noticeably less into it than usual. We'd both had enough to drink that he didn't second-guess himself when I stripped down to my undies and led him to the bedroom. Maybe he finds this kind of exciting and flattering, knowing that he's so desirable that he figured I must be overriding my instincts to fuck him like this; I gather a lot of straight partners sort of use that as justification once they know the truth. I wore him the fuck out, though, which made it easier to call Mom & Dad and "Doris" (the English name that the current Chen-Ai decided on) and not have them ask him to get on the phone and talk about who I "really" am enough to give him doubts.
And then I came in here to write this. There's a whole bunch of other people to call - Annette, Krystle, Kareena, Romain and René - but I kind of had to get this out, maybe exorcise my worries that he'll have second thoughts after he sleeps on it, or he'll try and poke holes in the story (I do sort of have a lot of lore for someone who lives pretty simply these days). Heck, maybe I'll think I'm nuts once I've sobered up. But for now, I'm pretty excited!
-Jordo
1 comment:
Congrats! Just be careful where you book the honeymoon lol.
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