It's been a while - almost 19 years! - since I've booked return tickets to the Inn, so I'd kind of forgotten the combination of giddiness and panic that comes with it. I think most folks feel the same; there's this genuine relief that things are going to get back to the way they should be, and I have met a lot of folks who actually enjoy this phase of the Inn experience more than anything else. "Okay," they seem to say, "now that this has an end date, I can stop worrying what enjoying this says about my inner self, and I don't have to worry about feeling trapped by this thing I don't like." You would not believe how many people who've become the opposite gender really step up their sexual experimentation in those last couple months!
The flip side, though, is that you can get extremely paranoid about anything going wrong or amiss. This is my first time waiting to return to the Inn since I started writing fiction, so now I've trained myself to extrapolate everything down every path it could take, so there are a lot of things that could go wrong in my head, and that's on top of being a kid. Ray and Harmon and I have tacitly agreed that unless I do something really stupid or dangerous, especially with other kids involved, they're not going to make much show of parental authority, even if it's somewhere that Ray and I would try to rein Millie in, but the rest of the world isn't in on this, and I've spent a few nights worrying about how things could get messed up if I draw someone's ire as a "misbehaving teenager".
Because that's really easy to do! This weekend after tennis practice, for instance, "Venus" (not her real name) and I were hanging out on the Common, drinking Dunkin iced coffees with enough caffeine for full-grown men even though it was pretty chilly because we're New Englanders (well, Millie is, and I've been here long enough, right?), taking selfies and scrolling through TikTok, laughing and squealing when we hit a particularly funny one. I was maybe acting my apparent age than usual - I had endorphins from a good practice and a lot of coffee! - but at most, we were being annoying. Still, a cop came over and asked what we were up to, we both got a little mouthy for different reasons (I do occasionally react to stuff like I'm both an adult and totally white while Venus loves rap battles almost as much as tennis and her parents have insulted a deep distrust of authority in her), and while nothing actually happened, his hand was on his nightstick the whole time and he shooed us away from the group that I guess was giving us the stink-eye.
Which led to like a half hour of us doing increasingly mocking imitations of the puffed-up tyrant.
After a while, we started wandering around Downtown Crossing (the new Japanese pop culture shop isn't open yet, alas), when Venus stopped outside the fancy Legal Sea Food and pointed inside. "Is that your mom?"
I was already starting to say something about not thinking so before looking up and realizing that, yes, it was Harmon, all made up and wearing a cardigan and a camisole that showed some cleavage, talking to some man I didn't recognize. He was about my real age and kind of good-looking, although he probably should just let his gray hairs show rather than try and cover it up. They were laughing and looking more than chummy, so I whipped my phone out and took a photo before walking off. Venus and I did a little more window shopping, but it wasn't a much fun anymore and started to drizzle, so we went out separate ways.
Naturally, I was waiting for Harmon when she got home, looking as stern as I could, although I've seen this look on Millie's face as well as a bunch of students, and so I know that there's a hint of "kid upset she has to eat her vegetables" to it. I pulled the phone out and showed her the picture. "Who's this?"
Harmon looked and busted out laughing. "It's the new editor, Rob Giordano! Remember, Lucinda is starting her maternity leave, so Rob is going to be our point of contact with the publisher. He and his son were visiting colleges this weekend, so he texted to see if we could have a quick sit-down to meet in person."
I raised my index finger to start making points. "One, you're not supposed to do anything publisher-related without involving me; two, you're looking awful friendly for having just met!"
She rolled her eyes and pulled her (my) phone out of her purse. "Millicent, the text came while I was at that fundraising dinner with Ray, and I had forgotten about it when we got home. You were out the door by the time I got up, and though I planned to demur, it seemed like bad form. As for how we looked, I suppose that I may have seemed more relaxed around someone who did not know you, but that is all there is to it - I am certainly not looking to entangle myself with your life more than I already am during the next month!"
As much as i hate being called by Millie's full name at school even more than she does, pulling that at home is just openly insulting. Still, I knew she was looking for a reaction and hopefully didn't give him one more than clenching my jaw. "You should still have given me a heads-uo; you're way past using 'I never got used to the way young people text' as an excuse." Am I proud that I responded by emphasizing that he's an old man underneath his skin? Well, maybe it's adolescent pettiness, but I'm not ashamed. "So, what's he like?"
We talked shop for a bit, and the new guy mostly sounds like someone I'll be able to work with. I must admit, I'm kind of worried that it will be more than an interim arrangement, because while my publisher probably won't lay Lucinda off while she's on leave, we all know how it works now, that the corporate higher-ups will see that the imprint doesn't collapse with one fewer editor, so if someone else leaves, they just won't fill the position when she returns, but might do a reorganization where everyone gets shuffled to look after a little more.
Which would be a bummer; I've been working with Lucinda for years and we've got a good relationship that I don't think Harmon has sabotaged. I suppose that would be the case no matter what, unless some butterfly effect thing means that her working with Harmon rather than me - say, things running long because I'm feeding him answers - changed circumstances just enough that she and her husband conceived when they otherwise wouldn't have. Still, I would have liked to say goodbye.
Ah, well, it's school vacation week in Massachusetts and I'm actually not booked solid with sports, but might instead get to spend a couple evenings "helping mom" stay book signings, which folks find adorable. I am ready to be on the other side of that again!
- Arthur/Penny/Millie
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