Watching my roommate over the last couple weeks is the most unsettling thing I've ever seen.
Is what I would say if I didn't spend the last twelve years working at a high school. I've seen some shit, okay? But it's in the top 10. Probably. Definitely 20, I'll give 'em that much.
But yeah. I don't really pay a ton of attention to the blog, but no matter what my roommate might think I like to keep an eye on it, and when I saw the post earlier I felt like I should let you guys in the loop on what I know. And also. Who else am I even supposed to talk to about it!? The real Ainsley? Hell no am I gonna be the one to have that conversation. (For her own sake, I hope she doesn't read the blog!)
The other day Isaac, late at night (for him but not for me anyway) told me he's gonna try to be Ainsley "for now" and that I should call him that and not mention Inn stuff unless I absolutely have to. Looked all teary and out of his mind. I was kinda high and didn't really process what he just said so I just went "yeah sure OK" and set him back to bed. The next day I didn't see my roommate-- okay, I gotta add, I don't even know what name or pronouns to use here, I mean I don't really get the whole thing but I try to be respectful about it but also this is a different kind of thing, get what I'm saying? Like it's not the same situation with the crap I get from parents over a teacher using the ones the kid wants them to use, or not using the ones the kid wants and-- It's different. So I'm just gonna stick with he, and Isaac (I'm not gonna put "Ainsley" in quotes everywhere that'll just get old) at least until he lets me have a real conversation about this!
But yeah, if you saw what he wrote you get the picture, he's gone the full Ainsley. Finally went and snapped, and I gotta admit part of me was just surprised that it took this long. Okay I was surprised about the shape he snapped into, if I were a betting gal I would've put it on him losing it enough to take a pill from some stranger at wherever that bar he's been disappearing to is ("The Lounge" isn't its real name, apparently, kid covers his tracks!), who happened to offer it to him at the exact wrong moment. Honestly I was looking forward to it. That kid just hates himself, it got sad to watch before we even got on the plane, he would've needed to let off some steam even if he wasn't stuck impersonating Miss Perfect here while that weirdo's dangling his own life over his head. I've never seen anyone that permanently uncomfortable.
Only now he's really impersonating Miss Perfect instead of having the fun breakdown I'd regret wishing for once I had to clean up all the vomit (wouldn't be the first roommate who pulled that on me, but at least she had to return the favor. Or maybe it was me returning the favor. Whatever, long time ago, and also I did that for three kids so a hungover roommate is a breeze!!). And it's just. Uncanny! He's got the impression most of the way there (or at least I think he does, I never met Ainsley) but you can still kind of see the Isaac in there if you know him, which only I do, so. Point is, I hate fake smiles and forced cheeriness and all that crap, and I say that as someone whose job description includes lots of it so I know what I'm talking about! Now Isaac has the combined powers of a self-loathing anxiety case and the worst PTA moms I have to politely throw out of my office, and even "in character" he went out of his way to admit he likes how much it fucks with me. I've seen those smirks. I'm not self-centered enough to think I'm the main reason he's doing all this, but I'll give him that if I were, it'd be working. Never would've bet he had it in him to act that passionately about reality TV, or that dog, or really anything besides his plants, for anywhere near that long.
It's rich that Isaac's spent the last eight months going all "wow Heather, you like Sara's life too much, you're getting addicted to being too young and too cool and having too much fun" and now he goes off and throws his personality on the altar of someone who actually has a life. But look, I used to hang out with girls like Sara. I used to be girls like Sara. And I made mistakes in my life, but I know what it's like to be someone like her-- I saw Nirvana live, ya know? I've been cool!-- and what am I supposed to do, sit around all day feeling guilty about how I got one of the better curses the Inn can throw at you? Apologizing? Panicking about every little choice? Obviously that doesn't work, Isaac knows it, and now the whiplash got him so hard it's got him trying to date men. Good luck, kid! He doesn't know how shitty men can be. He thinks he does, we all start out thinking we're so smart, but he doesn't. He's like a teenage girl. Assuming he doesn't snap out of it and/or chicken out, of course.
Welp, at least losing his mind gets him out of the house more.
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