Is that the way you'd write that? It's been a while since high school English and they didn't exactly cover this situation, but I kind of want to get right. It's bad enough folks look at each other knowingly and say ah, ella es estadounidense when they address me in Spanish and I respond in kind, but mangling my native language is something else again!
It's not really getting cool in Miami for the fall (it never really does), but were spending a lot of time in DC these days, and there's a bit of a nip there occasionally, although Dunia insists it's not enough to start wearing pantyhose or tights under our miniskirts yet. It's surprising what a difference they make, though, and if "hot girl summer" turns into hot girl winter, I'm going to insist.
See, she's insisted we make the most of the time we're like this. It started early, since i was pretty down for a while when Gerard made a mess of things with my Mom. I told him to not be so flamboyant about the cover story that explained where Lambert and I supposedly were over the winter, and I guess he tried, but I don't know which was worse for her between thinking I might be gay enough to spend the winter in that sort of arrangement and being sure he was lying to cover something worse. Things got around town, she kicked him out, and it was hard enough to find a job that he just picked up and left, eventually crashing with the guys he'd visited the Inn with, who became a straight couple in Baltimore.
With all that Gerard did, Dunia is probably the best friend I've got left, and after letting me mope for a few days, she decided that we weren't going straight home after work one day, because she needed to update Alicia's wardrobe. Lambert hadn't bought anything while he was wearing that face, and while Harmon had adapted pretty well, her brain was still kind of stuck in the 1980s on the one hand and not exactly subtle on the other (her idea of "sexy" was closer to "slutty", to hear Dunia describe it). So we hit some shops, with Dunia asking what I thought as a guy every time she tried something on and then if I'd be embarrassed being seem with her as Dunia and Alicia. She naturally also found a lot of things that she had to see me try on and that i should buy if only so she'd have them next summer. We spent a lot of money that afternoon.
But the weird thing is, it did lift my spirits! I've made a lot of jokes about women and shopping, I'm sure, but there's something really great about being told you look nice and seeing a friend get prettied up herself. I don't know if you can buy self-confidence, although I'm sure that's what these places are selling as much as tiny crop-tops and one-piece swimsuits that somehow cover less than bikinis, but Dunia had a great time and it did feel pretty good to know that I could pull off living someone else's life better than Gerard.
Of course, she also insisted we get some use out of them, so we spent a lot of time on the beaches of Miami and the clubs in whatever city we were in when the sun went down, or even walking around the Smithsonian and other museums in Washington. The National Mall isn't as welcoming a place as it was when i was going there last year and the State Fair thing was super-lame, but more people flirted than asked what an Afro-Latina girl thought she was doing there.
Granted, we got back on the Miami-DC route in large part because Gerard had wound up nearby and she figured it would be good to keep our circle tight. I was still kind of upset, but she was right. She had him book a spot for us at a nice restaurant during mid-afternoon hours when it would be quiet, and while I figured we'd just stay in our uniforms, she'd made sure to bring a sweater that clung to her chest (because she's kind of having fun with Alicia's body, like it's fun to know people are staring rather than doing it from behind), while I was in one of her halter-and-pleated skirt pairings. We got there first and sat at the bar, getting about one drink in when he came in and waved. She waved back, and then leaned over to whisper "why didn't you tell me you were so hot?"
I stammered. "I'm not! I mean, you've seen pictures of me on Facebook, and if Gerard looks sexy, it's just because he spent too much of my money on clothes and that haircut!"
She laughed. "Toby, if all it takes is a nice haircut, you're hot!" Before I could argue, she waved him over, and I got my first good look at the new Gerard/Toby, which was weird. I know the face and everything pretty well even if I was never one to spend a whole lot of time looking in the mirror, but the way he talked and dressed and held himself just didn't feel like me at all, which isn't something anybody had really told me, either as Dunia's friends and family saying "Dunia, you're acting strange" or her saying she wouldn't do something.
But it turned out okay; he told me he was really sorry about how he made my Mom uncomfortable, and was trying to improve it now that they had a little distance, and had a lot of funny stories about what an old married couple his buddies had become, even though the husband had been a girl and the wife nonbinary (for his part, he usually didn't even notice he was only attracted to women until some guy would hit on him and he wouldn't feel it). He'd also somehow landed a job I couldn't imagine I'd ever get, some sort of outreach position with the city government, and he said it wasn't that hard, you just had to be confident in your interview, figure out how in lined up with what you're good at, and work on the rest.
Anyway, it was a really good meal - Gerard has been exploring DC's apparently great restaurants and decided to introduce us to Ethiopian - and we agreed that next time, we'd try and hang out in a club or something. I wasn't quite so enthusiastic about that, but Dunia was, and she told me that I should practice, because my next girlfriend wouldn't have any idea what kind of jackpot she'd hit with a combination of farmboy good looks, any stylish things I inherited from Gerard, and knowing what she wanted from the inside. Which is kind of when the clubbing stepped up a bit, and it hasn't been so bad. I can tell when a guy is just using a line or seems genuinely interested in me a lot better now, or when brushing up against me is accidental or deliberate or somewhere in between, I'm dancing a lot better too, although I'm not sure how much of that will transfer once I don't have Dunia's butt.
(BTW, the way she rolls Alicia's when I say something that she calls "complaining about the amazing ass I gave you" is kind of hilarious.)
Heck, last night, I actually wound up making out with a guy in a DC club. It had been a long day - we were supposed to make a round trip, but the first flight was delayed an hour and a half, which led to a lot of people being rude as if Dunia and I had anything to do with the engine, so another crew took the return flight and we had an overnight. I drank a little more than usual, but the dancing felt really good - sometimes you really need to move after being trapped in a plane for that long! - and this guy was funny and sympathetic, and when we wound up near a wall, his hands were on my butt and my boobs and his muscles felt kind of good. The kiss was a surprise, and so was the tongue, but it made me realize just how long it had been since I'd experienced that, and I don't know where it would have led if his buddies hadn't come by and said they'd been called in - I guess they're cops or first-responders or something - and we exchanged numbers. It was kind of silly that Dunia high-fived me after that, but she said that her boyfriend being away didn't mean both of us shouldn't get laid for the twentieth time and what happened in DC could stay in DC.
We had a late flight home, enough that I collapsed in bed as soon as I got there, only to have payback slap me in the face after just three or four hours of sleep as my phone buzzed me awake.
It was Dunia's boyfriend Luis, and he was crying, saying that he'd been injured pretty severely in a training accident, would probably be rotated home in a couple of weeks, and didn't know what was coming after that.
I said of course I'd be there for him when he did, before immediately texting Dunia about what the heck that means under these circumstances, and writing all this because I really didn't want to go downstairs and discuss it with her dad. But I'm guessing the super-fun summer is gonna be over soon.
-Toby/Dunia
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