Tyler/???: Goodbye

Late last night, I was sitting up in bed reading. I was wearing my nightgown, because it was a chilly night and the Inn gets drafty, but I could tell I was changing because suddenly my hair was long enough to get in my eyes, and a much lighter color.

So I stood up, very slowly slipping my feet over the side of the bed. The bed now felt much higher up than it had been when I climbed in. I stood up and got the very weird experience of not being the right height. I was woozy, too, feeling unbalance because I guess my mass was still shifting around. I tiptoed over to the door and try to measure myself against the frame, and I reckoned I lost... 6 or 7 inches? That would put me at 5 foot nothing.

If I was afraid I was de-aging into a minor again, I didn't have to be. I may not be as tall, but I definitely still have an adult's body. I was growing... elsewhere. I could feel my chest expanding, my nightgown tightening against it. I let it drop to the floor and met the girls.

I've been two different women before and I've never had big boobs. Lauren's were basically nothing, and Judith's were quite modest too, so I had the luxury of kind of forgetting about them a lot of the times. But these ones... really aren't. I put my hand under where I thought they would end and tried to smoosh them up against my chest, just to get a sense of their weight, their size and dimensions. They're hefty... more than a handful for this body (it was hard to tell if that was just my hand being smaller or they were really that much bigger. In the end, both.) And they kept getting bigger. I felt this dull throbbing in them as they gained more and more mass, slinking lower and lower on my torso and bulging further outward. The good thing is, my equilibrium returned so I didn't tip over... thank you, low center of gravity.

"Holy shit," I gasped quietly in some mixture of awe at their size and weight, exhaustion that it took so long to subside... and just relief that that that part of the change was over.

I'm not skinny in a stick figure sense - my hips did narrow and become more squarish than Judith's, my butt flatter... but being so small means these things just dominate my physique. This could be... annoying.

I threw my robe on - it was only knee length so it still fit well, but it was still tough to keep cinched on my new proportions.

My room shares a bathroom with Pete, so when I absent-mindedly opened the door, I was face-to-face (well, face-to-torso) with an attractive, slender black woman. I tried to avert my eyes from the scandalous parts but I think Pete didn't care because he/she didn't make any attempt to cover.

"Look at you!" Her eyes lit up at me. "You're so--!! Oh, have you seen??" I didn't even have time to answer before he took me by the shoulders and pointing me at the mirror. My head barely made it into the frame. I stepped up on my tiptoes.

The person in the mirror... her jaw hung open a little bit. This weird mix of pleasure and irritation washed over me because I was... well, pretty. As Judith, I had a mature look, I guess, which could be beautiful at times, but mostly I just looked pissed off, with cold beady eyes and a naturally frowny expression. But this new face is very round and pink, with cute cheeks, soft lips, bright green-blue eyes and long, silky strawberry-blonde hair. I couldn't look mean if I tried. That's... a mixed blessing, I think.

I sighed, resigning myself to cuteness, shortness, and an absurdly large bust. Not the body I would have chosen, but healthy and young. I turned to Pete and forced a smile. "Well, you look--" I cut myself off and clapped my hand over my mouth. My eyes bugged out. Pete tittered. "Did that come out of me?" I gasped as low as possible, muffled by my hand.

"Oh my God your voice is adorable!" she said in her non-cartoony alto, her eyes lighting up. "Say something else!"

"No! I'm never gonna speak out loud ever again!" I hissed in a whisper-shout. As Judith and Lauren, my voice was definitely higher than a man's, but still could be quite husky when I wanted it to be. This was embarrassing. "I sound like Minnie Mouse on helium!"

"You'll get used to it," she said, patting me on the shoulder dismissively. "I'm so pumped. This is just what I wanted. Plus I'm black. That's so cool," she chirped while she teased her frizzy dark curls.

I rolled my eyes at that. It's one thing to be okay with all this. It's something else - borderline inappropriate - to be genuinely excited. but we all process this differently. In a few months, the reality might hit her.

I considered whether to go knock on doors and wake everyone up... particularly I was still feeling a nagging parental need to check on Dylan... or whether I should dig out my new luggage and finally read the letter I was left... but fatigue was hitting me, and if there was an emergency they knew where to find me.

I woke up to a knocking on the door and bright sunlight. A little after 6 AM.

Still in my robe, I went to answer and saw a 13-year-old boy standing over me... towering over me, as it happens. He looked down and his eyes bugged out. "Woah... Tyler?"

I cinched the robe up. "Eyes up here, mister."

"Sorry," he said, looking away.

"Looks like everyhing worked out. Wow, you got really tall," I said.

"Yeah, it's so weird," he said. "I feel so strong and... clumsy."

"You'll get used to it," I smiled. "You're gonna have a great year."

"Yeah," He nodded nervously. "So, uh... we're leaving?"

My eyes bugged out. "What?"

"Yeah... my parents are back to normal and the first thing they did was call a cab so they don't have to stay here anymore."

I was stunned. "I... I guess that's their call."

"Can we text? Keep in touch?"

"Of course," I said. I was fighting back tears. "Someone's got to look out for you. Have you said goodbye to Kitty yet?"

He shook his head. We went across the hall and knocked on her door. Inside was a young woman of Asian descent - Filipina I think. Kitty's new form.

We walked him out to the car. I asked Neil if it was the wisest move to be running off like this after just becoming full grown again. He looked me up and down then rolled his eyes and said they just couldn't stay.

I made the sourest face that my new look would allow and his tone changed. "You were the mom, right? Judith?"

"That's right," I said.

With some reluctance and pain, he said, "Thank you for looking after our boy. It seems like you did a good job." Maybe I was expecting more, but I get that it would be hard to express yourself in that situation. I took what I could get from them.

"You're welcome, Neil." I said, offering my hand.

He shook it and said, "I'm Susan." I stifled a laugh - it happens.

We said our goodbyes. I wrapped my arms around the Kid. I wanted to say something profound but I was at a loss. Kitty, crying more openly than me, told him to eat his vegetables and not stay up too late drinking soda. I added "Be good... and if you can't, don't get caught." He looked embarrassed, but that may be because I no longer resembled his, or anybody else's, mom, and he may have had some mixed feelings about that. After they pulled away, she said she would have to go soon too, as she apparently had a husband waiting for her. She seemed a bit ambivalent about that. I wished her luck. We both really fumbled for words to sum up our complicated, crazy relationship.

"What about you?" she asked. "Where are you headed?"

"I don't know yet," I said. "I'm kind of enjoying this phase where I could just be... nobody."

She called for a ride and told me to visit sometime. Perhaps one day down the line we could be friends. We definitely have a bond. She'll always represent a very important part of my life, whether it was always good or not.

And then it was just me, Pete, Annette, Abbie, Kendra and a few new people. I felt very strange. The day before I was a mother and - technically - a wife. Those aren't things that people are supposed to just... stop being. I wondered if I should be happy or sad, and settled on both.

I went inside and decided to get dressed. I put a pair of high-waisted denim shorts, which exposed a small tattoo on my front left thigh of a bird nesting on a branch, the first of three that I noticed (similar bird-themed ones on my wrist and ankle.) I hurriedly dressed in a tank top that couldn't help but prominently display the "twins," supported by their 32E bra. I felt extremely exposed - like I was doing something wrong by showing so much skin because I wouldn't have done so as Judith. It's gonna be so weird having these things under my face all the time, adjusting my "fashion sense" (such as it is) to a young person's. Pete emerged from his room wearing a multicolored sundress and a big flashy grin.

"I know a good place to get breakfast," she said. "Hungry?"

"Starving," I said.

Tyler/Judith: Maine 2017 Day 1

It was a long, quiet trip up. We were all in a daze by the time the family Mazda pulled up to the Trading Post Inn. Dylan was deep in a teen fantasy book in the back. I was picking crumbs out of my bra from the sandwich I had finished while in the car. And Kit was on his third attempt to reverse into the parking spot. He did not appreciate me trying to give pointers.

The lot was half-full, which seemed good to me. It's the middle of the week, so I didn't expect everyone to be arrived already, but I was hoping we wouldn't be alone. There are three of us in thee separate rooms, so the potential for loneliness was Shining-esque.

As we unloaded our gear from the trunk - Kitty attempting to carry my bags for me, but me declining (and later regretting it) - we were met at the front entrance by a familiar couple: the "O'Rileys," aka Abbie and Kendra, with their 4 and 6-year-olds hanging by their sides.

"Hey there," I said, letting out a huge sigh of relief. "Can you believe we're all back?"

"Not yet," Kendra said. "Give it a few nights and we'll really be able to say that."

I embraced them both in big hugs, then bent down to see Neil and Susan. "Hi... do you guys remember me? Do you know what's about to happen?"

"Don't talk down to me," snapped Neil in the voice of an adorably irritated moppet. "I know why we' he'uh."

"Yeah, uh, it seems like they've really regained a lot of awareness lately," Abbie said. "The more we talked about going back to the Inn, the more they kind of... snapped out of it."

"They've gotten really sassy lately," Kendra added. "They're excited, to say the least."

I told them I thought they should be writing on the blog about all that, but they said they preferred to keep things a little private.

Neil and Susan rushed over to Dylan and started peppering him with questions - how did he feel about going back, was he eating enough, did he have friends at school, were we being good to him.  Not that I have anything to be ashamed of but I kind of hope they don't go back through this blog.

"And how are you and Kitty doing? Has it been awkward?" Abbie asked.

"Um, we've been making it work," I said, trying to put the question down as best I could. No, it hasn't been easy, but we're two reasonable people who mostly don't totally hate each other. There's a lot of reasons why it didn't work for us - twice. That hasn't kept bitterness from creeping in (on occasions where we have to be around each other for long spans of time - like, say, a car ride from NH to Maine - we tend not to speak.)

I turned the question around. "What about, um... you two?"

They both scoffed. "Us? We're good, obviously."

"Are you, uh... do you mind me asking? Did you ever..."

"Hook up?" Abbie said, chucking a hoarse, male laugh. "Let's just say, we managed."

They gave each other a knowing smile and suddenly I was afraid to ask for more details.

Nobody else arrived all day, although we did run into Annette/Benjamin. He had plans with Jordan and his brother (her brother? Sister?) who didn't come all the way to the front door of the Inn, I'm guessing out of skittishness based on recent events. He offered us a chance to hang out with them but we kind of collectively rain-checked. They wanted to make it a late night and I think everyone here has a pretty early bedtime... plus I feel like the collective mood among that group is a little less excited than this one, given recent events.

Kendra and I went to pick up Chinese food for the whole group, since we didn't want to deal with the fuss of having all the kids with us at a restaurant. When we got back, Kit had retired to his room. After dinner we showed the kids to theirs and illustrated exactly where they had to stay to get their correct bodies back... as far as we knew.

After dinner pretty much everyone retired, but I couldn't sleep so I got dressed and headed down to a bar I had been to a few times over the years - probably not the same one Annette & Co were going to hit. It was a pretty lively place for a Thursday night. I sat at the bar, ordered a vodka tonic, and sipped it quietly while watching baseball highlights on the TV.

I was about two sips in when this guy sidles up to me.

"What's a lady like you doing alone in a place like this?"

I looked him over. Cheesy-looking guy, overly-stylish hair, wearing a suit with his shirt unbuttoned one too far.

I might have been furious at his imposition but I haven't actually been hit on that much as Judith, so I was more confused than anything. I gave him this look, like 'Are you talking to me?'

"Oh, I swear I'm not coming onto you," he backed off a little, then added. "I don't hit on married women."

I looked at my hand. The ring was off, and had been for weeks since Kitty and I broke things off. There was a slight tanline there but he would have had to be Sherlock Holmes to spot it.

"How did you..."

"It's Judith, right? ... For a little while longer?"

I got this very nauseated feeling. My eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"

"We've never met," his expression got more innocent, "I'm just a fan. I really admire what you do."

"And... what do I do?"

"Come on, Jude," he said, stressing my name and making me even more irritated. "The blog. If you don't want people reading it, you shouldn't be writing there."

"Touche," I said through gritted teeth.

"Don't be so sour," he said, ordering a beer for himself. "We're in the same boat, and I'm never getting my old self back. My name's Pete. Well, it used to be, get me? I've been to the Inn a few times myself. But you're lucky."

"How's that?" I scoffed.

"It's like you told Dylan, a long time ago. You've been on both sides now. That's a good thing. I keep getting these boring average dude lives. It stinks."

I muttered, "Wanna trade?"

He smiled, a bit more warmly and let out a guffaw, "I wish! But I think Judith is spoken for. And so is this guy. For a little longer. Just gonna have to roll the dice again. Like I said, same boat."

"Well," I rolled my eyes, "Be careful what you wish for."

"Come on," he took a big swig of his beer, "You can't tell me... if you had woken up that first time, as just some other guy... and then the next year, as some other guy, a little older... but you knew that there were people out there having experiences like yours? Being Lauren and Judith and... whatever else... you wouldn't be intrigued? You wouldn't be curious? You wouldn't think, shit, my life has been so boring, I'd love to at least try it?"

"I never had a chance to think about it that way," I said flatly. "Don't take your good fortune for granted."

"I think I'd be good at it, you know," he said. "After everything I've read from you guys? And my own research. If I knew it was coming. I could totally adapt."

"Seriously Pete, or whatever your name is... it's not all it's cracked up to be. The novelty wears off, and then you're just... well, you realize how different it really is."

He shrugged and said cryptically, "We're all different."
I asked, "Have you checked in yet?"

"Not yet," he said, "Just got to town. What about you... any idea what's coming?"

I shook my head. The remains of my locks whipped back and forth, so I grabbed a hair tie from my purse and pulled it back. The humidity was making me frizz out insanely.

"Scared to look?"

"Been a busy day."

"That's code for scared. What room are you in?" I told him and he lit up. "Right next to mine!"

"Great... No offense, but if we end up as a married couple, I'm divorcing your ass," I said, half-kidding.

That got a chuckle. "Fair. No more fake marriages for you. What if you're my kid?"

"I'll run away. Put myself up for adoption."

"Sounds great. Very sensible and not at all dangerous," he snickered, putting his hand on my shoulder in a show of familiarity that was still kinda uncomfortable given we had just met for the first time. "It's gonna be okay, Tyler. We're both old pros at this."

"Well, I'm looking forward to retirement," I said, downing the rest of my drink. "Hey, mind giving me a lift to the Inn? It's a long hike and I'm not wearing the right shoes."

"You got it," he said, and left his own drink unfinished.

We stopped by the Check-in kiosk a few blocks down the road so he could get his key and we walked to our rooms.

I still haven't looked. I wrote all this out, now I'm tired, and I'm ready for bed. I don't have the energy to put up with all the likely disappointment I'm facing. I'll look tomorrow.

Tyler/Judith: Merry Christmas, everyone

The week after our dinner with Samantha was "Adrian's" office Christmas party. I never would have thought of Kitty as an office drone but apparently he's taken to it, working in H.R., filling out forms and helping people adhere to policies. I didn't know that much about it beyond that. I've kind of kept it deliberately separate, and I wasn't much looking forward to mingling with his co-workers, since as I said earlier, I don't exactly love being in situations where I don't get to be myself.

But I had promised I would be the Good Wife that night, even if I was still struggling with how to respond to his declaration of love. He knew I needed time to process everything, although I could tell he was eager for me to come down on one side or the other.

I wanted to put in a good effort for that night, so I went out that day and got my nails and hair done (I can look presentable on my own but it takes more capable hands than mine to turn this frizzy mass into something more than "presentable" - to say nothing of the time and effort.) All that was left was the dress - a long dark red sleevless gown that dipped low in the front. I haven't worn anything that refined since my pageant misadventure as Lauren, and this was a whole different matter. I was a little hesitant to put it on and found myself just sitting at the vanity staring at my face in the mirror... trying to find my inner Judith, I guess.

I looked at the Crow's Feet around her eyes, the laugh lines... the one or two chin hairs I needed to pluck. I wondered what the original owner of this body thought about all that. Did she feel old before her time? Or was it nothing to her? She's only 36 for God's sake. But working and raising a kid will put years on you. I wondered about the little soft roll of flab that I inherited just at the hips, the dimples and freckles that I've noticed on my ass.

She's still got some good years left, I can tell... hopefully she wants them.

And what, exactly, does Adrian see when he looks at it? Either of them.

I eventually did put on the dress and attempted to get comfortable in it... not easy when you're crammed into spanx underneath. I also forgot who and where I was for a minute and dropped a bite or two of lasagna into my cleavage during dinner. Embarrassing. I tell you, they're not even that big but the amount of times these things get in the way...

Kitty was impressed. He jaw actually dropped. "You were already beautiful... I've never seen you look so stunning, though." Even though it's not really my body, I did my best to accept the compliment, and I have to admit it felt good to get that reaction.

I was a bit distracted all night, but I was impressed watching Kitty in action. I forgot that around other people he's very warm and personable, easy to make friends. He knew just about everything about all her co-workers and had a ton of inside jokes with them. He was like a different person around them. Charming - I can see "manhood" agreeing with him. Something about being in this position brings out the best in him, and he was laughing all night, which is rare. We even danced. Together. It just about killed my feet in those heels, but we danced quite a bit.

When we got home, I was feeling good so we cuddled up in bed. "Don't get the wrong idea," I told him. "I just really need someone to hold onto right now."

He laughed slightly, "I feel like that sums up our whole relationship." It made me feel warm to joke around with him that way. I wanted to tell him he was being a good sport about my indecision... and that was helping me come in for a landing on it.

--

We had a lot of talks about how exactly to approach "Christmas," specifically the gift-giving aspect. We don't exactly plan on bringing a lot with us when we leave these bodies. After all, my aim is to become a man again in the long run, so buying clothes for Judith's body, or make-up or jewelry, seemed like a pointless gesture.

"It's not pointless if it makes you happy even for a minute," he said to me. "That's what I really want for Christmas, to make you happy. To see your smile."

"I don't have a smile," I said flatly, aware that my lips were curling even as I said it. "This face only goes in one direction. It's a serious face."

"Not true!" He stepped closer to me - we were in the kitchen at this time. "I've seen you laugh. I've seen you giggle. I've seen you get lost in daydreams, fondly remembering old times..."

"I don't have a lot of fond old times... and I don't giggle."

"Every now and again. It's like.. hehe. I can even tell you get really embarrassed when you do it, too."

"That's not a giggle... it's a titter."

"Don't call it that... that has 'tit' in it and I don't like that word."

I chose to ignore the conversational pivot - was he trying to get me to discuss my anatomy? - and went back to gifts. "I'm not really a gift person anyway. Let's just... I dunno, go on vacation or something."

"I don't think I can get away from work. Besides, we're kind of saving up the vacation days, remember?"

"Pfft, how could I forget... okay, well, you can think of something. Just don't get me a vacuum cleaner or cookware."

"What kind of husband do you think I am? Need I remind you that I've been a wife before!"

"Yeah, you never shut up about it," I smirked - and tittered.

The real problem we were facing was with the Kid. Like Halloween, we wanted to make sure it was a real special year for him. We did splurge a bit on clothes and accessories... I figure if he's privately interested in dressing the part as Olivia, then it might be nice for him to have some clothes that never belonged to the real one.

He first asked for a puppy. I reckon it's something he has asked his parents for year after year and they've always said no. I don't wanna deny the kid anything but we ain't exactly set up for a dog here... in the short term we could take care of it, but are we gonna bring it with us to our next lives? It's too complicated.

His other wish was still a tall order but a bit more do-able. He wanted to see his parents.

You might recall, Dylan's parents, Neil and Susan, wound up as little boys much younger even than Olivia, the children of the O'Rileys, Christine and Martin, who live near Boston. We are in contact with them for regular life updates and asking how Dylan's parents are faring. Turns out they're quiet, well-behaved kids - I guess stuffing an adult lifespan into a 2-and 3-year-old body will do that. There are flashes of clarity to where it's obvious they remember their lives, but either they don't have access to their entire memory or they aren't willing to display it all the time. They're both too young for school and answer to their given names - leading to a few "Boy Named Sue" jokes.

They ask about Dylan often, but don't seem to recognize that the girl in the picture I sent is their boy.

It honestly seems a trifle weirder than what we have to deal with. And we worried that Dylan would be too spooked by seeing what became of his parents. We didn't wanna traumatize him none, but we didn't wanna deny his only other specific Christmas wish.

We had them up for Christmas Eve dinner. We brought Dylan face to face with his parents and... he just wrapped his arms around them. "You guys are okay! It's all gonna be okay! we're gonna get fixed soon, I promise!"

I'm not entirely sure they knew what was going on, but... they seemed happy.

Abbie and Kendra hadn't come alone. They brought with them the original O'Rileys, at least Christine and Martin, who had become a gay couple named Robert and Steven. Handsome guys. My first question was to ask about their kids. It was clearly not a fun story, but it could have been worse: "They became my parents," Martin explained, "An older retired couple. It could have been worse... they get live-in care and we see them every day, and obviously we are all looking forward to putting things right. They understand what's happened to a degree but it took them a long time to come to grips with being bigger and... older."

An uncomfortable, solemn silence followed until Christine noted, "Our oldest never stops asking when he's going to get his 'pee-pee' back." I grinned wryly and said me too.

Kendra explained that the O'Rileys were so invested in getting their lives back that the four had formed a makeshift family - which we were part of by extension. That was very nice to hear. I thought of the rest of my "family" and supposed it included Meg and Carrie and Lauren and Tasha... people I haven't heard from in too long and moss more than the rest of my "real" family.

I admit I observed our guests with interest trying to suss out the relationships, maybe out of curiosity and maybe because I wanted to find some clue for how I wanted to be with Kit. Abbie and Kendra didn't give off more than a platonic partnership that I could see, but by the end of the night Martin and Christine were pretty openly fawning over each other. Martin seemed to acknowledge my interest, saying "I never thought I would go this way, but what can I say? Love is love, and I love this person."

It was honestly very sweet and encouraged me to keep my mind open.

--

We got Dylan some video games, some Olivia-clothes and a whole bunch of junk food. I got Kitty a tablet, reasoning it was something he could bring from life to life, and some aftershave. He got me some make-up and a Spa Day, pointing out that it was all stuff I could use up before we go back to Maine... but also some clothes and matching set of earrings and necklace, "because I wanted to give them." Outwardly I was thankful, inside I was annoyed he had broken our unofficial pact. I wanted to be touched by the gesture and appreciative though.

Christmas day provided more in-character stress. We did had to see Judith's family again, which meant cooking while Judith's sister Kathy batches about her husband's lack of upward mobility at work. Dylan, who was my little helper at Thanksgiving, was off playing with his cousins. Judith's other sister Arlene showed up a few hours late with her new boyfriend - acquired since Thanksgiving - and I'm pretty sure at one point they went off to have sex in the master bedroom, on top of everyone's coats. Well at least someone got laid in that bed.

Kitty was circulating, supporting me for most of the day, but he disappeared after dinner for a while. When everyone had left I found him moping in the spare bedroom I chewed him out for abandoning me with the Medeiroses and reminded him the next day we were sue to see the WAlkers and he'd better behave.

He said he was sorry, he was just overwhelmed... he realized we were all starting to feel like a real family and it made him homesick, and made him sad about having to uproot again in spring. I said I understood, and he said how could I, I'm a born wanderer. I said that wasn't fair, and we got to fighting about.. well, everything. Our plans for the future, mostly, but also recent treatment of each other and fighting about fighting.

We ended up going to bed separately, which sucked for the following reason... I had one more gift to give Kitty.

I had bought myself some lingerie that week. All day I had been wearing a lace thong and corset under my clothes, waiting for us to be alone so I could show off and, well... seduce him. Basically embrace my feelings or at least take a chance on them.

But shit, that blow up really set us back, left me feeling unenthusiastic about it, like a fool wearing expensive, uncomfortable underwear.

We were cold to each other the next day at the Walkers family Christmas, but we both came around and said we were sorry by the end. Inch by inch I'm learning how to make this work and not just run away.

The lingerie would have to wait though.

More in the new year
-Ty/Jude

Tyler: The Veterans

I didn't get a lot of sleep Saturday night/Sunday morning. The sun was just peeking through the blinds when I heard a faint but insistent knock on the door. "Tyler? Kitty?" a muffled voice asked, "Are you in there? I need help!"

I bolted upright awake, remembering where I was and what had happened. I checked the time on my phone. Only 5:50 AM. Damn, I thought selfishly. This was going to be a long day.

The knocking continued. I looked over at Kitty. She appeared to be trying to sleep through it, but she muttered, "Tell them we're not here." Obviously that didn't make sense. I wasn't even sure if she was aware we had transformed.

I stood up and smoothed my gray t-shirt over my chest. It tented over my bosoms and draped down nearly to my knees. I didn't have a sense of what I looked like yet, except for the hair and the long fingernails. It was disorienting to suddenly be so small, but I felt bulkier than when I was Lauren, so I felt pretty sure I wasn't a kid. My boxer shorts clung to my hips, meaning they must have been quite wide, and as I stepped across the room I really felt the weight of my lower half. I brushed my hands against my hips and backside and found them quite... round.

I reached the door. Once I opened it, I would be faced with something I couldn't pretend I hadn't seen. And the part I dreaded most of all was explaining that I had been through this twice already. That made me the Veteran, the Expert, and potentially, the man everyone was going to blame for not warning them.

Er, girl. Lady. Woman.

I took a deep breath as I turned the knob. I opened the door and my eyes bulged out at the sight of a  woman holding a baby - a toddler, actually, with light tufts of curly blond hair, at her hip.

I was about eye-level to the woman's chest. I craned my neck upward and saw the six-foot-plus Rosie, looming over me even moreso than when we first met. She was dressed in a man's pajamas that looked like they fit fairly well. One of the weird things about her transformation is that Ahmir was not actually bigger than her.

"Rosie?" I said, keeping my voice to a hush, trying not to wake anyone and also maybe because I was feeling self-conscious about how I might sound. "It's you, right?" She nodded, and I said "Good." She looked at me expectantly until I identified myself - it hadn't occurred to me that she wouldn't immediately recognize me as I am now. "It's Tyler. I'm... I'm like this now. Whatever it is, I haven't looked yet."

"You look fine from here," Rosie said. "We've got a problem."

"I can see that," I said. "What-- who is this?"

She sighed. "It's Susan. She... drew the short straw, I guess."

I felt the color drain out of my face. I've been through some crap in my years, but I never had to re-learn how to use a pen or the toilet.

"Is she... in there? Can she talk?"

"I don't know," Rosie said fearfully.

I groaned and did what I thought was the obvious thing, getting eye-level with the kid. "Hey... hey there... do you know what your name is?"

"Susa' Clawk..." she managed to say.

"Good, good, Susan..." I said, breathing a sigh of relief. "And how old are you Susan?"

She hesitated a moment and answered, "Thiwty ni'... Wheh' um I?"

Okay, I thought, we can work with this. She has her mind, sort of, but the linguistic and motors skills of a toddler. It's like having a stroke or something. My guess is she'll eventually grow back up and retain memories of her past life. God, I hope there isn't time for that.

"What about Neil? Dylan?"

"Well..."

I felt a headache coming on. I went out into the hallway and walked with Rosie and Susan over to Neil's family's room.

Inside were two more kids sitting on the bed - one a year or so older than the Susan had become, asleep on the bed, one a little girl dressed in boy's clothes, sitting next to him, quietly looking at a phone. Her long dark hair streaked in front of her face and I could sort of tell she'd been crying.

"Neil is the sleeping one," Rosie said, "He was up earlier, asking all kinds of questions, and I... I guess he just got too tired out."

"And Dylan's the girl," I surmised. At least he didn't get the Tom Hanks in "Big" treatment.

"She was... He was really upset," Rosie said, "But I got him to settle down and play his game, and, well.. I guess it took his mind off it."

"Wow, Rose," I said in astonishment, "Looks like you got this thing under control."

I was pleased with her. She had done a lot of the heavy lifting that I would have guessed would fall to me. But my head was still buzzing and I realized immediately that these kids probably didn't come alone. They probably had parents somewhere at the Inn, and it made sense to check the next room over, Abbie and Kendra.

Bingo.

They had become a young couple. Kendra's new body looked like it hadn't yet shed the pregnancy weight, and Abbie's, as the husband, had close-cropped brown hair with a reddish beard that she kept scratching at.

Kitty joined us as we explained the situation as best we could. There was the requisite "You knew this was going to happen?" exchange, which I was ready to snap back with "It doesn't matter, I couldn't have stopped it." Abbie backed off and asked me not to jump down her throat, it was just a lot to process. Kitty, for her part, seemed dismayed that she was tall and stocky, with lovehandles, male-pattern baldness and stubble. I would have loved to trade places with her, really.

"So, here's the bad news," I said as tactfully as I could, "The really bad news. There's these kids, they were a family of three, and... we think they're supposed to be yours."

Abbie and Kendra looked dumbstruck at each other as Rosie brought Neil and Susan forward. Dylan was hiding behind, staying quiet.

"No way," Abbie protested.

"This is too much," Kendra added.

"Come on," Kitty said, "It will be easier than it looks. They have the minds of adults, we checked. I bet it will just be like having little roommates."

"Roomates I have to breastfeed," Abbie sneered, clasping her hands over her chest.

"I think they're a bit old for that," Rosie clarified.

"I know it's a lot to absorb," I said. "Body changing, three kids... I feel for you."

"Um, Tyler," Rosie said sensitively, "It's probably just two kids."

"What do you... there's three of them, and..."

"Look at Dylan," Rosie said, "And, well..."

I looked at all of them. The young ones, Neil and Susan, had Abbie's wavy blonde hair and pale skin. Dylan looked different, with tawny brown skin and long dark hair. And he... she... looked actually too old to be the daughter of that couple.

Rosie gestured at me oddly.

I looked at my hands. Tawny brown skin. Long dark hair. I hadn't even thought about what I actually look like.

My heart sank. My head continued to throb. All the breath left my lungs.

"Oh, God," I groaned, slapping my forehead.

In all the commotion, I hadn't so much as checked a mirror. I rushed off back to my room.

There in the reflection was... well, this woman. This face. One that looked an awful lot like Dylan's. A grown woman in her mid-30's, little age lines creeping around. I felt so stupid, it must have been so obvious to everyone who saw us. I'm a fucking mom now.

I couldn't believe this possibility hadn't occurred to me. I was so concerned with where I was ending up, I didn't think much about who was going there with me, let alone that it might be someone else's child.

Kitty and I started arguing almost immediately. I thought it would be best to leave Dylan with Kendra and Abbie - one more kid probably wouldn't break their banks, and it would be safer to keep that family together. On top of that, I didn't think we were stable enough together - privately I kept thinking I was just going to run off and live my own life without her no matter who I became, but I didn't say it that way.

Kitty came back by saying our new "selves," the Walkers, probably weren't in bad shape either, and were set up to look after the child. That we couldn't burden them with another mouth to feed, and since they weren't really a married couple, how could we assume they were any more stable than we were. And those kids weren't really Dylan's parents anymore anyway - he wouldn't recognize them, relate to them or communicate with them that way.

She had a point. And yeah, maybe my reasons against it were selfish, but I still would have rather kept those three together. But it just wasn't workable. If Abbie and Kendra were willing to go along and play parents, I had to too.

My face was hot with frustration and anger directed at nobody in particular. My head was throbbing, I was hot and sweaty, my stomach was sick and hungry. I wanted to break down and cry for the second time since the early hours. I tried to fight them back, but the hot stream of tears poured out of my eyes. I was a sobbing wreck.

And Kitty, to her credit, wrapped her big strong arms around me and held me close, like she really loved me - and maybe she does - and said "It's okay, it's gonna be okay. We'll get through this. We're tough."

I knew that, but all I could say was "God, I want this to end." And it sucked getting so emotional, too, because usually I'm calm, cool and collected. But my body was throwing all these new hormones at me, getting me all worked up.

"Hey," he said, "Have a shower. Clear your head. I think we can take care of things."

I could just barely muster a "Thank you," but I meant it and I think she picked up on it. I felt really cared for and supported. It was almost like we were... like, an actual couple.

She left me alone and I did decide to run a quick shower. I was so exhausted and worn down at this point that I hardly even cared what I looked like, but I didn't mind it so much.

Whoever this woman was, she was maybe 5'5, with a soft but not out-of-shape "mom" body. It looks like she takes good enough care of herself, despite the accumulated cellulite on hips and thighs and whatnot. I was aware, all day, of the bounce of my butt behind me and my boobs under my top - I'm gonna need to get back in the habit of wearing a bra, that's pretty non-negotiable. (As Lauren I only bothered on school days, and even then I sometimes just layered tops until the girls stayed in place.) Overall it's just so much more... womanly than I was used to. Sure, I'm a female "again" but this is as different from Lauren's body as a family sedan is from a coupe.

The long hair has more volume to it than the straight locks I had as Lauren, but compared to Rosie's frizziness I guess it's not so bad. Like I said, she has a bit of age lines, which suits me fine - I feel older than my years with all this body swapping. In reality I've only gained about five, though. Her whole look is... well, my dad would have said she was "exotic" if he was feeling polite that day. I actually couldn't immediately put my finger on what race I was supposed to be, but once I was cleaned up, I started going through her things, found a letter addressed to "The New Judith, Adrian and Olivia Walker" and found out her maiden name is Medeiros, which I guess is Portuguese.

Honestly this has been so draining I think this is a good place to stop... we're about to leave the Inn and head for our new home for the next year (hopefully not more...) and when I get there, and we get all settled in, I'll give you all the details.

And probably cut my fingernails, over Kitty's protests, so I can actually use a keyboard and a phone like a normal person.

Yours,
"Judith." (Ugh, of all the things I object to about this life, the name is up there.)

Tyler: So how was your weekend?

By Thursday night, the Inn was starting to fill up, maybe about halfway. I had gotten a bucket of chicken for Kitty, Rosie and myself, and we were just sitting around the common room about to dig in, when in walk these two girls, dragging some luggage behind them, and I could hear from their conversation that they were having trouble finding somewhere to eat - apparently they had some plans and were running late, to where they didn't know if they'd have time to find a decent meal.

I decided to wave them over and offer them some of ours. They waved it off at first, but I insisted. I introduced myself as Tyler, and Kitty, who seemed less than charmed to meet them. I paused when I got to Rosie, when she piped up and said, "Ahmir," offering a big friendly smile. I guess meeting a big black guy named "Rosie" would seem a bit odd.


They gave their names, Abbie and Kendra, and talked a bit about themselves - 23 years old, just out of college, etc etc. I made some polite small talk, careful not to tip my hand that I knew anything about what was going to happen, say anything that might seem deceitful or cruel in retrospect. I mean, if you could just warn people ahead of time, everybody would turn around and run away (well, except for the folks who would appreciate a "fresh start." I reckon they'd get more than they bargain for, though.)


They headed out wherever they were going and we said maybe we'd see them later. After they were out of earshot, Kitty smacked me on the shoulder. "We're not here to make friends with these people!"


I sighed. "We need to form some kind of bond with people here when we can. Our lives might depend on it. Or theirs."


She scoffed. "Still, you don't have to be so nice."


I realized in that instant it was because Abbie and Kendra were so attractive that she felt threatened.


Later, I took a walk with Rosie and asked her about her experiences. Just like on the blog, she was reticent to go into detail, but she wanted to clarify it's not like it was a walking nightmare every day. Even if she could never quite shake the race thing from her mind, there were lots of times it didn't seem to matter as much - it's just that it would sometimes come out of nowhere, or she started seeing it places where maybe there was actually nothing to worry about. She said her favorite times were being "one of the boys" at the construction site, where your race didn't matter as long as you could lift the drywall or whatever. I told her I wished she had found more time to write about it so we could get a fuller sense of her experience, maybe and she said she just wasn't in that kind of headspace. I'm sure Meghan would have backed me up that pushing yourself to write that stuff down is healthy.

I tried to relate her experience to my own as Lauren. If you are a black man or a teenage girl by nature, you don't have the ability to think about how different it is for you than other people, at least not in such concrete ways. I missed being able to go out and not be leered at by older men, or having to dress according to whether I wanted to risk tempting teenage boys at school. My one really solid friendship with a male classmate was based on his attraction for me and me having to keep him at arm's length.

Rosie admitted she had at least enjoyed manhood for what it was. I told her I didn't quite have the same perspective on my femininity. Sex and dating were off-limits. I couldn't have enjoyed them anyway.

"But who knows," I sighed. "Maybe next time..."

She smirked. "You're convinced that's how it's gonna go down, huh?"

"It's 50/50, and I've never been a lucky guy," I said. "And that's assuming everything goes as right as I hope it will. Waking up as Alan, and getting to wrap these arms around Meghan, was the happiest moment of my entire sorry life, and soon it will be a memory."

I added "But this time I'm ready for it. For whatever happens. I have the advantage of knowing the deal ahead of time. I'll probably never have a real body of my own again. Why get attached?"

She said, "I bet it's tempting to find someone you want to be and send them to the Inn first. Maybe someone who doesn't deserve what they've got in life."

I think that was meant to be a joke, but she said it very seriously. Like it was something she, herself, had considered.

"I wouldn't," I said firmly. "No matter what happened to me, it's not my place to make that decision." I do wish I could be that kind of asshole, but I at least have some conscience.

"Me too," she said, but added, "But we'll see how you feel a few years down the road."

It was Friday that Unlucky #13 arrived. I happened to be in my room when I heard an unfamiliar voice in the next room over. I wasn't sure who was in there already, but over the last two days or so I'd heard at least two sets of footsteps and two voices, both of which I assumed were women. The new one was male. He seemed to be apologizing for being late, and she was clearly displeased, but they didn't get into a loud fight or anything which was good. I decided to move to the common area in case they came out, so I could get a glimpse of them.

There were three people but it wasn't a man and two women. It was a husband, a wife, and a son of about 12 years old, busying himself with that Pokemon Go game. They had towels and sunscreen and such.

As they approached I tried to not focus on what was about to happen to them, especially the kid. I gave a nervous but friendly wave: "Heading to the beach?"

"Now that he's here, the vacation can finally begin," the wife said. The husband kind of laughed it off with a remark about work being too demanding but pulling himself away.

They were kind of a nice, cute couple, in that "Oh, my hubby is such a dolt but I love him anyway" kind of way.

"I'm Tyler by the way," I said, extending my hand, "My girlfriend and I are in the room next to yours. Let me know if you need anything."

"Um, thanks," the man said. "I'm Neil, this is Susan and our boy Dylan."


"Oh?" I said, "Sue was my mother's name." Well, one of them.

The conversation halted awkwardly and I let them get on their way. My stomach was churning for what was about to become of that boy. I can understand that the Inn's curse is inevitable and random and all, but man... who's ever running this place needs to stop branding it as a fun getaway for young families. That's just cruel.

They returned around sunset and we talked for maybe 20 minutes, about their cross-country road trip from Iowa, their lives and jobs (Neil works at Quaker Oats,) stuff like that. Kitty, Rosie and I were having a late dinner again, and we offered to share but they had already eaten. Neil explained his wife wasn't feeling well, and I wondered if that could be chalked up to the curse or not, since they were out all day. I was still feeling fine at this point, and Kitty was a lot nicer to the Neil family than to Abbie and Kendra... who came back shortly after dark, looking like they had been out hiking all day, burnt out, redfaced and ready to collapse.

It seemed like everyone was in for the night, so we hastily returned to our rooms to keep everything from being screwed up. Kitty either fell right asleep or played like she did, but I couldn't. I managed to sleep through the transformation twice before but I couldn't this time. When you're not totally exhausted, that whole sensation is very hard to ignore.

I tried to lie perfectly still so I didn't disturb Kitty, but it was hard. There was this steady pressing sensation into my body, like whatever I was becoming was inside me pushing out. It was hot under the covers so I kicked them off, but I kept my eyes clamped closed - the room was dark but I wanted to stay ignorant as long as possible.

I tried to keep my hands somewhere neutral, so I laid them on my abdomen. Alan's flat midsection was softening up. That could have meant anything. And my feet seemed to be retracting from the edge of the bed, but lots of guys are shorter than Alan.

But I was becoming aware that the person next to me seemed to be getting much larger. Or maybe just because I was getting so much smaller.

I can't tell you the precise order things happened in since it was all sort of going on at once. You feel a rustle of long hair down your ears and neck. You twist your hips and the responsive sway of your genitals isn't there anymore. And you know. You haven't seen yet but you know. I was right about what to expect. I cursed under my breath and sat up, brushing that long dark hair away from my face.

I sat over the edge of the bed. My feet just barely touching the floor. I wrapped my arms around my sides and tried to keep from breaking out into tears or something. I was ready for it, or at least I thought I was, but now it was real. I couldn't help but notice my hands - thin fingers tipped by somewhat-long, perfectly-shaped nails. I regarded them with a kind of dismay. This was not me... but it is, I guess.

It was quiet, still, but I knew that soon everyone would wake up and realize what had happened to them. My mind was abuzz with the possibilities, worst-case scenarios, life-ruining changes. I wanted to know right away what had happened next door, even more than I did this room.

And I would want to help, and yeah, I wanted to know more about this person I had become, but all I could think was "I need to sleep." The chaos could wait at least a couple of hours. Maybe I could wait until they had some of it figured out... and give myself some time to think of something to say...


I laid back down and rolled close to Kitty's new body next to me, a man who felt like he dwarfed me. I felt his lungs breathe in and out through his back and tried to let it soothe me to sleep.

Back again soon. This whole story has already taken half a day to write down with these nails in the way and there's much more to tell.