Rusty/Monica: Should I be hornier than this?

Dad, if you weren't telling the truth when you said you were going to stay away from this site now, I need you to stop reading and tell me so we don't both die of cringe!

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Well, Dad, if you are, that's on you.  To the rest of you, hi, I'm Rusty, although my hair hasn't had a bit of red in it since I turned into Monica last summer, and I imagine you guys have all been reading my dad's posts about me and her and Katey.   I just found this card with instructions for how to set up an account for this in the back of a drawer while the three of us were trying to figure out what changes we need to make to the place now that we know we're going to be staying and aren't planning to go back, and figure that folks who have been living new lives for almost twenty years (wow!) might have more to say than Dad or Katey or even Annette (Annette - this is not for Katey and Emilia!).  It's got to go better than it did on reddit, at least!

Let me explain the subject - I don't know if Dad just found this too embarrassing to talk about or didn't know, because her bedroom is on the other side of the living room from me and Katey, but it's an old building and the walls are thin and our beds are kind of against the same wall because that's where the one power outlet is on each side, and so, uh, I knew she had started playing with herself just a couple weeks into this whole thing.  It kind of shook me, because I was still feeling kind of guilty about seeing Monica naked when I changed clothes or took a shower and trying to hold off how often I went to the bathroom so I didn't have to wipe.  Obviously, as my Dad will tell you, I developed an appreciation of my body soon enough, but even when I decided to see what the big deal was a couple months in, it felt good, but I never looked at a guy and thought that I wanted him to do that to me with his dick.

So, fast forward to a couple weeks ago, first trivia night after we decided we were staying.  There's a guy, Omar, who has had his eye on Katey ever since we started, and he seems nice enough, but as soon as he says hi on the way to his table, Katey immediately starts flirting back, and by the time the evening is over, they've arranged an actual date for the next night.  They've gone out another couple times since then, and Katey stayed over the last time.  Dad stayed up all night and I'm kind of glad I'd already headed out by the time Katey got home, because they were still staring daggers at each other a day later.

So, the next day, I get off work a little early, coming in quietly enough that the moaning going on in the bathroom doesn't stop, but when my phone buzzes, it's a text from Katey, and I stop dead as I realize that those noises are coming from Dad!  Like, Dad hates being a girl - we know she's just staying like this because she knows Katey and I were really reluctant to give up what we'd made of ourselves since coming here!  She still needs our help getting dressed and made-up if there's a private event at the bar or something, and is just absolutely miserable every time her period comes around.  She comes out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel which she clutches a little tighter on seeing me, asks how long I've been there, and winces when I say long enough.  Then she starts in on how she's sure this must be quite a surprise, but she did say that this was our lives now, and while she's kind of worried about Katey dating someone who has so much more experience than her, she also knew that was going to be part of our lives now, so she has to accept it and move on too.

And, like, sure, but she was really into it, after not wanting anything to do with it for the whole time we've been these girls!  I told Katey about it later, and she said that maybe Dad's just been holding it in for months, and finally letting it out was what made it sound like such a big deal.

Okay, maybe.  But I really don't feel like I've been holding back!  I tried again after talking to Katey, and I couldn't even get myself to come, though I suppose it takes practice the same way it probably takes practice to get that out of your partner.  I've been looking at this blog a little, and it seems like most guys who get turned into girls are attracted to guys and dating and having sex, if reluctantly, months earlier than me.

It's trivia night tomorrow, and Katey says one of her boyfriend's teammates is really into me and I should give him a chance, and, sure, why not, I actually do really like meeting new people - I think it's kind of why I'm good at both this job and the last one even though I'm probably way too young to be talking to some of these folks as equals - but I don't really think anything's going to come out of it.  Should it?  Like, what's everybody else's timetable of going from straight guy to straight girl?

- Monica but you guys can still call me Rusty

(I'm assuming the original Monica was straight; her social media since junior high has her dating a lot of guys and there was nothing in the letter about secretly liking girls, and even if she didn't tell us where they were going, she didn't seem to avoid telling me anything the way original-Katey did!)

Aidan/Emilia: Happy Birthday... Katey?

A thing I didn't really bring up during the Taxes post is that, while filling out forms, we were reminded that we'd missed Monica's birthday in early March and that Katey's is the 28st of April.  I asked Rusty if she wanted to do something for it, but she said no; she'd just celebrated her real birthday, after all, although she did have some fun with how she's older than Kutter right now.  

Indeed, we'd all more or less figured it was no big deal, just making a couple of jokes in the morning, until we got to trivia that night.  Trivia's been a bit odd since Rusty was laid off from her old job; she still counts Razzie and Chandra as friends, but that they stayed while she was pushed out stings.  It's not making it better that things are actually looking much worse, and the company may just collapse entirely, although maybe it will be different when things do entirely fall apart.  The point is that we were all focused on the weirdness on Rusty's side of the table that we were completely blindsided when Lettie brought a lot of other folks from the office to sing "Happy Birthday", present her with gift cards, and then bring out a birthday cake at the midway point.

I don't think I've seen the particular expression on Kutter's face before, either as Katey or her real self - blushing red; eyes shut, covered, and pointed down; whole body quivering in a way that could be laughing or crying; but beaming wide.  The hair kind of shielding the sides of her face adds something to it that maybe it wouldn't have as a guy, perhaps.  She seemed deeply embarrassed that people would be giving her that sort of attention but appreciating it.  It made me feel pretty good because while Kutter's never exactly been what people call an introvert, he was never really one to find himself at the center of a circle in school or at camp or anything.  He's always been dependable and funny and able to poke back at me and Rusty, but sometimes I kind of think that people, maybe including me, took him being organized and conscientious for granted.

The affection from her colleagues seems pretty real, too - I already knew Lettie, but had only heard about Max, Jen, and "Ms. Grayson" second-hand - and, meeting her, I kind of get why Kutter can't quite bring herself to use her given name, even though I know I'm older and more experienced than her; she's friendly but always seems a step ahead of you - and it was kind of fun to have a cheering section.  Admittedly, I'm none too fond of Ms. Grayson's boss, who was paying entirely too much attention to my and Chandra's chests.  Though, I must admit, I often figure better me than the kids when we're out together.

After trivia, I wasn't surprised when her office-mates wanted to take "Katey" out for a few more drinks, and I kept myself from saying something like "be safe!" as she walked off, because that's a Dad thing to say rather than a roommate thing.  I still waited up for her after Rusty hit the sack, though I've got the excuse of how neither the bookstore nor the bar every wants me in as early as the kids' jobs do.

She came in at 1am or so and plopped down next to me on the couch, kicking off her heels.  "Oh my god why is tequila?"

I laughed before asking if she was going to be okay for work the next day.

"If I'm not, the folks at work have nobody to blame but themselves.  But I'll be fine.  It is my job to make the coffee and to order the coffee and there is going to be so much coffee."

I chuckled.  "Eh, they'll cut you some slack; they really seem to like you."

"Nah, they like Katey.  They like the girl I'm pretending to be.  But they'll have another one in a month and a half and won't know the difference, right?

"Hey, near as I can tell, Katey is about ninety percent Kutter, which isn't ideal, but pretty good.  Folks will definitely notice the difference."

"Well, maybe I should make it easy for them, tell them I have to move back home.  Wouldn't be a lie!"  She got up from the couch and then stood very still for a moment.  "Then again, they might throw me another party."

I laughed and waited for her to be done with the bathroom and flopped down into bed before doing the same myself.  So far as I can tell, they both managed to get to work OK this morning.

-Aidan/Emilia

Aidan/Emilia: "Yeah, well, it's fun night whether you like it or not"

Things haven't exactly been frosty between me and Rusty since I put my foot down as far as I could about sexy Halloween costumes, but it's taken a bit of time for things to fully thaw.  That's why, when  his (or Monica's) phone buzzed at dinner and he looked up to ask my t-shirt size, I elongated "why?" a fair amount.

"Uh, Chandra's making team t-shirts for bar trivia tomorrow and they've got to dry overnight or something."  He kept looking at me like this explained it and he expected an answer for a minute or so, and then looked over at Kutter.  "I thought you said you were going to tell him!"

Kutter smacked his forehead.  "Sorry, it's been a really busy week!"

"But you had all weekend!"

"It slipped my mind!"

"Stuff never slips your mind!"

I raised a hand.  "Can we get back to what you were going to tell me about bar trivia?"

They both started telling the same story from different angles, but the gist of it was that a week ago they were each "dragged" into the same pub by their co-workers, not realizing that it was also trivia night, and decided they should make a team together, putting Emilia's name down when they saw that the sign-up sheet had six lines.

"Guys, I appreciate you trying to include me, but you can't just sign someone up for something without asking."

"Funny, that's what I said about pee-wee football and we all know how that tuned out."

Rusty's jaw dropped.  "Oh my god - dude, you didn't!"

Kutter laughed.  "No, it really did slip my mind.  Be funny if it didn't, though."

"Ha, yeah!"  Rusty shook his head.  "Anyway, I guess you don't have to, but we'd be at a disadvantage even if there weren't going to be a bunch of other teams who are going to be way better at Twentieth Century stuff!"

I grumbled about doing it for one night, and hopped on the subway with them.  The boys already knew the place, and both "Razzie" and Lettie were already there.  They waved and the boys waved back before crossing the street and Rusty asked where Chandra was - apparently running late because something about my shirt got messed up and she was trying to fix it, although she showed up just about as soon as we made that comment.

Introductions were made.  I'd see "Razzie" before - she was the redhead working the street fair with Rusty - but outside of work, she was a little more rough-edged, with ripped-up jeans, lots of piercings, eye-liner she had almost certainly put on after work, and a black t-shirt for some punk-looking band.  She said the nickname came because her big sister was also a redhead and was thus "strawberry".  Chandra is Indian-American, and I kicked myself for expecting a foreign accent but getting pure Jersey when she spoke up.  Lettie from Katey's office was a year or two older than we look, a slender African-American with straightened hair.

Razzy looked me askance.  "You don't look like the sort of person who hates Halloween."

"I, ah, don't hate Halloween, I just, uh--"  I stumbled, having no idea what story Rusty had told his co-workers.

She punched my shoulder.  "Just messin' with ya.  Those things will absolutely fall apart in the laundry if you're not careful!"

Chandra started handing out t-shirts and we went to the ladies' room to change.  The boys and I started walking to stalls, but the girls just took their own tops off as soon as the door was closed, with Razzie not even having a bra on, so the boys shrugged at me and followed suit, which left me doing the same thing.

We did more or less look like a team after that, all in jeans and sneakers (well, aside from Razzy, who had black work boots on) and tie-dyed tees with a woodcut design declaring us the "Lucid Dream Team", which Lettie noted was pretty cool, and Chandra shrugged, saying she might as well put four years of fashion school to some use.  Razzy elbowed me.  "Should've gone for a medium shirt, distract the hell out of the judges and other teams."

Emilia had actually left me a ton of stuff that was one size down - her dresser and closet have distinct "attention-getting" and "comfy" sides - but I tried to look cool rolling my eyes.  "If my breasts were that hypnotically powerful, I'd have a job by now."

She laughed too loud and we grabbed a table.  A waiter asked us if we wanted drinks, and I twitched a little at Rusty ordering a pumpkin-flavored microbrew and Kutter a martini, even though I'd specifically told them that this might be a thing they have to do to blend in.  Soon, there wasn't much time to worry about it, as the game started.

It was a mostly fun night; the host was entertaining and we were a surprisingly well-balanced team.  The girls in the expected way - Razzie knew all sorts of music, Lettie, a junior editor at the publishing house, was good for anything literary; and Chandra had pretty broad pop-culture knowledge - and us in ways that surprised our teammates:  My extra 25 years on the Earth were pretty useful, Kutter/Katey knew more science than was expected of an English major, and Rusty/Monica was strong in both sports and odd corners of pop culture.  Apps were eaten, meaningless gossip was exchanged, and we came in sixth out of about 15 teams.  A couple guys did offer to buy drinks and such, but the group kind of acted like a shield, saying we were just here for trivia.

Kutter was a little wobbly as we headed back to the subway; she'd tried three different drinks over the course of the evening.  I'd had two light beers myself, so it was Rusty who was supporting him, having apparently nursed the same beer most of the night before switching to Sprite.

We managed to grab a bench on the subway, at which point Kutter leaned over and "whispered" to Rusty loud enough that I was obviously going to hear it.  "Hey, is your friend Razzy gay?  She was flirting with Da-- Emilia! like crazy!"

I imagine Rusty and I both looked a bit taken aback, and I could see Rusty looking up, like her memories were on the train ceiling or something.  "Uh, maybe she's bi?  Like, she'll flirt with anyone to make a sale, but she talks about a boyfriend at work.  Although, yeah, she did seem to like Emilia!"

The pair looked at me and raised their eyebrows.  "Uh, she seems nice enough, but I wasn't into that sort of punk girl when they weren't half my age."  I changed the subject back to how well Rusty did on certain categories, and he shrugged.  "Like, you just look a little bit Asian and folks think you know all about something, whether it's Chinese, Korean, or Japanese.  I look a lot of it up afterwards, which is kind of all you need for trivia, but I've only got so much time to get into it.  A lot's good, though!"

We got home and the boys went to bed, having to work tomorrow - well, today - and I started writing this, just because I was kind of surprised how much fun I did have hanging out with them and their co-workers like we were all a bunch of peers.  I've been very focused on getting through it this whole time as young women and trying to train myself to not come off as weird when presenting myself as Emilia, and its kind of funny to just sort of have it happen as you're concentrating on something else.

I am kind of curious to look back at other posters to see where the point where they feel their identity or orientation or the like start to shift, though, because while the boys and I were kind of uncomfortable whenever a man would try to buy us drinks or ask what we were doing afterward, us all changing in the bathroom and stuff didn't feel like much of a big deal, and as much as I tell the boys that the age difference makes certain things weird, I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't get turned on by younger women before visiting the Inn.  Not girls my kids' real age, but, yes, I did notice a pretty girl in her twenties even if the attraction is tamped down by the knowledge that she and I have very little in common.

You might think that having something in common now might start to override that, but that's not the case, like maybe what's physical about attraction and what comes from experience on what I think I should be feeling might be hitting a tipping point.  That means it would probably be a good idea to stay on the trivia team even if it wasn't fun - if I'm at a tipping point, the boys must be too.

-Aidan/Emilia