Rusty/Monica: What should I call Dad's (potential) boyfriend?

I know that what I'll call this guy if things get serious won't matter for a while, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about it.  Nothing may wind up coming of this date they're on, because she's Dad and not really sure this is a good idea, but this feels a bit different than Katey & Omar, in part because she had to be talked into it. 

And also because the guy hit on me first, although that's mostly because Dad didn't want to come to Annette's little get-together.  There's not a standing thing where all the Inn People who have settled in New York get together like in Boston, but she tries to make sure there's one before the place opens for the season and one after the end, plus this one so that the folks who are coming here for school or the like know there's people who will have their back on a weird situation.  I'm always down to meet new folks like us, although Dad is really trying to focus on being Emilia rather than hanging onto her old life, and Katey and Omar had something else to do, so I went on my own, which meant I didn't really know anybody there.  There were a couple dozen of us, which seemed like a lot to be in one place, but New York City is huge, and I seldom remember how huge until something like this.  Most of them were cool, although the guy who just walked away when he found out I hadn't actually been to college can get bent.   The lady who owns a café in Brooklyn wanted to know why I never got around to selling her energy drinks, but I wound up spending most of my time hanging around with Ryan, who is 24, gay, and funny, especially when he does something dorky and jokes about it being a hangover from spending last summer as a suburban dad. 

I was saying something to him about how great it was to get to know people like this without there being any sort of pressure to pair up when someone tried to hook up.  A good-looking guy, tall, black, mid-twenties or so.  He said his name was "Jonah", or "Junah" if you wanted to get cute, on account of how he used to be a lady named "June".  He'd spent his first few years after visiting the Inn going to college in the city, thought the first girl he dated was The One, which was probably some sort of reaction to how his ex-husband had used the Inn to abandon her, and now she was coming back for grad school once that fell apart, because he really wanted to do something this time around rather than just being a housewife.

He asked about me, but as soon as I got to my age was like "Oh, you're young-young!", then apologized, though I said it wasn't a big deal.  I was in the middle of some story when I remembered I had pictures on my phone.  He had me stop at a beach one, like who's that?, and I snickered, saying it was my Dad.  He nodded and said Dad was hot, and was she seeing anyone?  Ryan jumped in and said I should totally set them up, because it would be a perfect yin-and-yang thing. 

I figured what the heck, had Jonah pose for a picture, and sent it to her, saying he'd like to meet her.  He texted that he wasn't ready to date, and for some reason I said that he might be a good place to start, since he used to be an older woman, so he'd understand when she was nervous and they wouldn't have to pretend. She didn't respond right away, so I had Jonah give me his number, and mostly hung out with Ryan for the rest of the evening. 

A couple days later, though, Dad asked if I still had his number.  Katey was spending Labor Day Weekend with Omar on Cape Cod, which was nice for her but has both of us like, holy shit, this is serious, and with a lot of guys hitting on her in the bar that night, I guess she figured she ought to take matters into her own hands rather than wait for someone to bowl her over like I am, especially since she figures matches that fit this well weren't going to come along that often. 

Katey and I kind of figured Dad would get cold feet by the time they were both free this afternoon, but it seems to be the opposite - they've apparently been texting all week, and while Dad is dressed pretty casual, it's the sort of casual where she spends an hour trying to figure out which pleated miniskirt and babydoll t-shirt look best together and trying every shade of lipstick the original Emilia left her to find one which wasn't too much. 

She apologized for all the fuss, because she still really didn't like doing all this girl stuff, and kind of hated that she was setting an example about being so worried about what some man thinks about your appearance, which is funny, because Katey and I are way ahead of her in girl stuff and haven't had problems with that.

Anyway, at some point Katey made a joke about whether Jonah is going to want us to call him "Mom", and it's really sticking with me.  Like, we appear to be about the same age, but Jonah isn't just Dad's real age, but old enough to be his mother, so our grandmother, and, I dunno, that feels like it deserves a Mister or Grandma or something, right?  Especially when it's just us and we don't have to pretend we were all born within a few years of each other.

I'm definitely overthinking this. I know.  But if Jonah winds up being around more, it's something to think about, right?

-Rusty/Monica

Rusty/Monica: Is it weird to celebrate the anniversary of the Inn changing you?

Dad and Katey and I are already celebrating two birthdays each, and while I don't really look at the blog much beyond seeing if anyone commented on my posts, I do see that the folks who change at this time of year don't exactly seem happy about it, so maybe last night's thing was in kind of bad taste?

The really weird thing is that it was Dad's idea.  I don't think he's really become happier to be Emilia in the last couple months, even now that she's not scared of what's between her legs, but she really wants me and Katey to be reassured that she's not mad at us for wanting to stay like this, so I think she kid of overdoes it sometimes.

Sometimes I think she's kind of screwing with us.  Like, she apparently likes the beach now?  I mean, she says she liked going to the beach back when she was a teenager and loved spring break in college - she was in a fraternity! - but do you suddenly just wake up and decide you like walking around in a bikini, even when it's ninety degrees out?  Especially since I don't think that she's going to Coney Island or Fort Tilden or other places with friends from work or book club or the like - just me and Katey, and sometimes Omar, and I don't know that asking us to put lotion on her back is meant to make us feel uncomfortable because the girl who just undid the back of her top is our dad, but...

(Also: I never thought of New York as a place with beaches, but then again, it is all on islands except the Bronx)

I do kind of appreciate that she did this; I was kind of nervous about being on display at the beach even if I don't have any problem with workout clothes that just cover what's necessary and sexy outfits generally.  but apparently I'm okay if it's just a way to hang out with my family and friends, get in the water, get some sun (with appropriately slathered on sunblock, because apparently Dad doesn't sunburn despite being a natural blonde while I sure do) and not, like "here's my whole ass, come and get it!"

Last night, though, was kind of crazy; Dad had bought us matching outfits, like whole matching outfits with shoes and handbags, brought us to the sort of club that was usually not her thing, and did a champagne toast before hitting the dance floor.  We mostly danced with each other, but she didn't often say no when a guy bought her a drink or asked her to dance.  Around 1am, she was starting to stumble in her heels and didn't really look like she was having fun any more, so we loaded ourselves into a cab.  She insisted on getting an ice cream cake saying "Happy Inn-iversary" on it out of the freezer and making sure we each got a piece before going to bed.

She was really hung over this morning, and Katey and I told her she didn't have to do stuff like that or pretend she was really into taking up how the original Emilia was apparently kind of a party girl, and she swore up and down that she just wanted to mark the occasion and that she wasn't doing anything she didn't want to do.  "I'm an adult woman who used to be an adult man, and I know what i'm doing," she says.

I didn't believe her this morning, but now I'm kind of wondering after writing this if the reason this all seems in bad taste is that celebrating one year doesn't just mean celebrating how Katey and I have done well as grown-up women, but also that Dad is kind of no longer Dad, that he's becoming someone different that likes guys and treats us like friends or sisters rather than her kids and that maybe we won't be able to turn to her to know what we should be doing.  Katey doesn't seem too worried about it, and neither does Dad, so maybe it's just me.

-Rusty/Monica

Rusty/Monica: Is it time to find a new job again?

Things aren't exactly going poorly at the language school or anything, but the three of us got a new lease to sign a couple weeks ago that has the rent going up, and I don't know that I've got that kind of raise coming.  We signed it, and Dad's taken on a few more shifts where she can, but she's also been applying to a lot of jobs that match Emilia's degree, saying that it's not just about making it to summer any more - we've got to be looking at careers.

I'm kind of not sure what kind of career you shoot for with a Political Science degree, though.  I've looked at a lot of the textbooks I inherited from the original Monica, and I'm not really feeling a lot of interest.  I'm not sure she did, either - there's a lot less yellow highlighter in them than in Emilia's and Katey's.  Dad says that's not unusual, that working on the other side of this process, as a manager, it kind of didn't matter what you actually studied, that employers just wanted to make sure you were capable of handling challenges, and that for most graduates, specific majors really don't matter, unless you find the thing you really love through it.  Razzie kind of takes it further, saying that employers don't care what you major in, just so long as you've got enough student loan debt to be afraid of quitting.

The thing is, everyone says that being a salesgirl is a dead end, but I really loved selling Dragon Adrenaline!  I'm not saying I was a true believer in the product or anything, even if I did like some of the weird Chinese flavors, but it was really fun to travel to all the little stores, give out free samples, get to know the managers, all that stuff.  There's a lot more sitting in the office at the school.

Maybe I should go for one of those pharma-girl jobs.  It seems kind of intimidating - I'm not sure I could bluff my way through how effective drugs are with actual doctors - and it also seems like there would be a lot more travel, which means a car and not having Dad and Katey for help.  And...  Well, from what I gather, a lot of these girls are looking for ways to skim off the top or for husbands.

And I am really not looking for a husband!  Sure, I've been Monica almost a year, but it's still really weird watching Katey make out with Omar, although at least he's being kind of cool about me noticing that another girl was staring at his buddy Rodrigo during our third date and finding an excuse to slip into the ladies' room and say that it wasn't going to work out so if she wanted to make her move in the next few minutes, I wouldn't actually be upset.  Rodrigo is actually a pretty good guy, and maybe I wouldn't have been looking for an off-ramp if Katey and Dad hadn't both been going on about this being the sex date, but it all felt weird.  Like, the first date was sort of a fun hang-out with Katey and Omar, then the second was a double feature at the NewYork Asian Film Festival and then talking at a bar afterward, but I wasn't exactly excited when he kissed me at the end of the night, and then on the third date, he was counting down or something.  I enjoy hanging out with him but I feel like I'll enjoy hanging out with him a lot more if we run into each other a couple months from now and aren't thinking about whether this is going to get us laid or evaluating each other as potential lifetime partners.

Still, the money's really good in that business, and maybe that's the important thing to think of right now.

-Monica (or Rusty)

Jordan/Yuan-Wei: Back... Home?

Man, am I not sure what to fucking make of the week in New York culminating in Max's wedding after flying up from Krystle's.  Like, I know you can read a lot of worry about how all the Inn stuff affects everything in her posts, but the experience of it, for me at least, was how much a lot of that didn't fucking matter.  Krystle wants to include what to all outside appearances are the parents of a babydaddy who quite notably isn't there?  Friend she really never hung out with that much is important enough to be one of the bridesmaids?  Absolutely random teenage white girl shows up?  Well, Krystle's family and Gabriel's family all start from the premise that these people are important to her and make room.  If there's gossip, it's well hidden.  It wound up being a really loving, accepting atmosphere, and they respected the entirety of what got Krystle and Gabriel there even if they didn't know it.

Back home...  Not quite.

It wasn't a race thing, I don't think, unless highly-assimilated third-generation Chinese Americans are unusually eager not to stand out, which I don't think is really a thing, although, granted, the past week or so has been a pretty shitty time for folks on a tourism visa like me to stand out.

And I get it beyond all that.  Max has gone through the Inn experience, and sometimes it means he gets me and sometimes it means he absolutely cannot understand how I could willingly give Benny my life or stay as Yuan-Wei.  I suspect things getting serious with Dominic kind of rattles him more; it's one thing to make use of your clitoris while you're stuck with it, but something else to put yourself on the wife & mom track Krystle is on. 

(And, yeah, just going with "Krystle" from now on.  She signed papers saying she wanted her name to be Krystle Potts, and who am I to argue?)

Still, I dunno, they could have not sidelined me.  Mom says it would have been easier if Dominic had come so we didn't have to insist, no, I wasn't an ex-girlfriend to Pei Pei and her family. 

On the plus side, I had a lot of time to hang out with Annette, who, as you may have heard, is doing really well, especially considering how volatile the publishing industry is.  She's managing editor of a small imprint, just moved into a bigger apartment, and wants to know all about Dominic because she is very single right now.  She had more restaurants she wanted to show me than I figured I had times free to eat. 

First up was her wanting to know how authentic a Chinese restaurant was (not bad, but honestly fancier than I tend to go for; I like holes in the wall).  She'd found a couple other really nice places, too. 

Thursday's big surprise was that we weren't alone - there were three young women joining us:  Emilia, Katey, and Monica, formerly known as Aidan, Kutter, and Rusty.  Apparently, Annette had seen some anxiety start to build in Katey a couple weeks after she came into her office to say she was staying on, all of her, which makes some sense, because one and a half Inn cycles passing is about when you realize, holy fucking shit, you have made a huge decision that is going to change everything forever that you can't take back.

I didn't have a whole lot of upbeat advice, being a couple of days into my family treating me like a not especially close friend even though they know who I am, but I think I was pretty honestly able to say that they'd push through it, that while the Inn doesn't seem to do much to the part of your brain that makes you good at math or the like, it does appear to reshape the parts that control physical attraction and gender identity, and once you realize your brains are part of your bodies and your bodies aren't things you are in but things you are, you can decide what to do with them.

They're good kids, all three of them, and, yeah, that kind of includes Emilia; she may have 40-odd years of experience but she's got the body language of a freshman that would set off some of my old fraternity brothers' predatory instincts, not quite comfortable in her own skin and always fiddling with her clothes, afraid they're making her look too inviting.  She knows that she's pretty and has a great body but mostly sees it as a target as opposed to a tool she can use.  Good dude, though, and she had questions about what adopting various local teams said about you. 

It's funny how obviously her girls are teenagers once you know their stories, though.  Monica is ready to bust with pride at every bit of responsibility she's shouldered and her jaw drops when you tell her something she feels she should have pieced together herself; Katey has a sort of innocent look that makes the occasional wise-ass comment stand out and has a bit of an attitude about the areas where she knows more than her dad, but she's a good kid at heart. 

Annette apologized for springing them on me when they left, saying Monica especially was curious to meet other folks who had stayed at the Inn while Katey and Emilia were trying pretty hard to act like they were just normal girls. 

Okay, you're all probably thinking, enough fucking sidetracks, what about the wedding?

It was pretty good, actually, once I got over where I wanted to be.  Threat of rain had us moving inside, and sitting on folding chairs rather than pews or benches was kind of odd, but fine.  Mom and Dad found chances to wave and say hi whenever they could, and for as much as part of me resented Pei Pei for taking my brother and family from me, she's pretty and smart (some sort of research scientist), and didn't seem like she had anything against me when we talked to each other.  Which I probably should have expected, instead of just letting my worries about what her being part of the family meant to me.  My kid brother may often be a dumbass in the way kid brothers are, but he's not stupid and our parents would have put their foot down if Pei Pei didn't measure up to their expectations!  We'll probably never be buddies, but she's okay. 

The reception was nice, too, even if I was on the outskirts compared to the test of my family, but that also meant no awkward small talk with Benny, filling out a tux like i never did and living my best life as someone's personal trainer.  Folks did notice the empty seat next to me, but as I told Dominic when I got home, I could have gotten laid a lot of I wanted to, because I fucking rocked my qipao and I'm already a good-looking chick from Hong Kong whose perfect English and job in the movie industry makes me pretty damn fascinating to any single guys in their twenties and thirties (and older in a couple cases), especially with a story about my boyfriend being worried about ICE, which was weighing on a lot of Chinese-American minds that had not forgotten being treated like shit during the pandemic.  Lots of ways to get people's attention.

At some point Kareena came by and asked if we could grab lunch the next day, and I said of course before a second cousin saw us together and remembered that I had been at her wedding to Benny/"Jordan" as well, thinking it was weird that I had been in Kareena's bridal party but now was attending a wedding on this side of the family, and I just sort of shrugged and said I was on the continent and hate to miss a good party before getting dragged onto the dance floor.

Kareena, if you don't remember, was originally my roommate Ravi's girlfriend and arranged fiancée, but while I was Deirdre and Annette was Ravi and Benny was me, she and Benny formed a connection, which is what led me to roll the dice and wind up as Yuan-wei ten years ago.  She's gorgeous and smart and otherwise terrific, way out of my fat, angry old ass's league, and kind of finds the whole Inn scramble romantic and exciting.  I was pretty happy when she texted me a cool spot to meet at the next afternoon, and a bit relieved when she arrived alone, saying Benny was putting in some overtime.

Not that he wasn't going to be part of the conversation; after a bit of catching up and her quizzing me about Dominic, she took a deep breath and laid it out there.  "So...  Benny and I aren't getting any younger, and we've talking about starting a family for a while, but it's kind of weird for us, considering.  Both my parents and yours have been on us about it for a while, with mine shocked I don't have a couple kids already and yours more understanding but still wanting grandchildren.  What do you think about that?"

I sat and thought for a second, not sure I'd really ever considered this possibility, before answering.  "I guess I think it's up to you.  I'm the one that walked away from that life and that DNA so you two could be together, and--"  Something clicked.  "Oh, shit, I've been moaning so much about being pushed aside for the last few days that I never thought of how that might make things easier for you to just get on with your lives!"

She shook her head.  "It doesn't, actually.  Benny - well, Benny's been more self-conscious about being Chinese-American since the pandemic, and he's kind of worried he doesn't have it in him to raise someone else's kid.  He's talked about making the guy who's living his old life an offer to be a sperm donor, and though he's coming around to believing me when I tell him that that would make me feel like we were raising someone else's kid because I love who he is now, body and soul, it feels precarious, you know?"

I kind of did, but still felt confused.  "I get it, but I don't know if there's anything I can do.  Like, it's tough for me to be less threatening on the other side of the world, unless you're telling me you're going to block me on social media and ask my family not to mention me--"

"No!  The opposite!  I need you to be part of this!  I think we all need to remember that we were always going to be an unconventional family and it's okay.  I know things were always going to be weird between you and Benny, but he's going to need to be able to talk to you about what things were like for you growing up and what comes from having Jordan Chang's DNA and that you'll be supportive but have no claim."  She took a breath, embarrassed about the outburst.  "Look, neurology isn't my specialty, and we don't know how that Inn affects people, but lately I sometimes wonder if he's got more of what I think of as the old Jordan in him, especially as you don't seem nearly as insecure as you were as a guy, or maybe it's just the past ten years, but I think he kind of needs your approval."

I leaned my head back as she fidgeted a bit.  "Ugh.  How the fuck am I ever expected to be the mature voice of reason?"  Not the first time I've asked that.  "I mean, obviously I'll support whatever you do.  And for what it's worth, the wedding before this was someone who got knocked up by someone living her original life in a pretty harsh situation, and you'll never see anyone who loves her daughter more.  You'll be okay."

"I hope so."  We stood and hugged, and she said we really should talk more often, even without all the other stuff, and I agreed.

By the time I got on the plane the next day later - with security being really weird, what with all that was in the news over the weekend - and certainly by the time I arrived back in Hong Kong, I wasn't so sure.  Is it selfish to try to maintain these old connections, especially when I've got a pretty good life here, or is it necessary?  I kind of wonder if that week in New York was so stressful in part because I sometimes let my original life stay at the back of my mind for months at a fucking time.  Is this place home now because I can sort of be at ease here without handling multiple sets of expectations?

Also, my being away for two weeks for friends' weddings has apparently led to Dominic thinking things while alone in our bedroom, and, honestly, he had better not fucking propose any time soon because I do not have the mental bandwidth for what our wedding would look like while I'm trying to catch up at work!

-Jordo

Aidan/Emilia: The Talk

Even before typing out that last entry, I taped notes saying "Family Meeting Wednesday Evening - Very Important!" to the kids' bedroom doors, pre-ordered some pizza, and then went into my bedroom to write something and wound up asleep fairly soon after.  I had an early shift at the bookstore, anyway, with a little bit of time to buy some extra soda after work.  The kids arrived back from work at around 5:30, and asked what was up.

I felt like I should have a presentation ready, but it hadn't seemed appropriate the night before.  "Okay.  As you guys know, our reservation at the Inn starts on the 5th of June, just a little more than two weeks from now.  New-us will be arriving there Saturday morning, which is a risk, but they're trying to minimize you guys having much to make up in the last few days of the school year after their 'family emergency'.  Have they been sending you classwork to catch up with?"  They nodded; as I kind of expected, Kutter was nodding along more with the details.

"Okay, so, that leaves a question of what we do.  I'm working two jobs part time, so I can probably say that I've got a family emergency back home and they'll either say they're sorry to lose me or ask me to say when I'm back.  You two, though..."

Rusty groaned.  "Ugh, I can't wait to get home, but i kind of hate the idea of quitting.  Seems like that's what makes sense, though."

Kutter nodded.  "Yeah, the folks in the office are going to think it's weird if I quit, especially if the new Katey sticks around the city but doesn't find something soon, but I've really only got enough PTO to get through us staying at the Inn, let alone for the person who turns into Katey--"

Rusty rolled her eyes.  "You've got a chart, don't you?"

"It's a perfectly reasonable thing to figure out!"

I held up a hand to keep this from going further.  "I'm glad you guys decided this on your own, because, obviously, I can't really tell you to quit your jobs."  There was an awkward silence as I decided whether I should just stop there and accept a good outcome, but I couldn't quite do it.  "There is one more thing you should know, Kutter, about your job:  If you don't quit, Katey will almost certainly get an official  promotion to Social Media Manager."

The kids both started talking at once, to me and each other, the gist being that this was amazing but how did I know.  I have them a just-the-facts version of my conversation with Annette.  Their eyes bugged at actually knowing another person who had stayed at the Inn, and they wondered if that meant Kutter had vibed with her in some unconscious way. Eventually, though, Kutter turned to me and asked why I was telling her this; wouldn't she be better off not knowing? 

"Maybe, for you, for now.  But you'd have found out someday, and I don't know if you would forgive me for treating you like a child after how much I've counted on you acting like a mature adult for this whole stretch.  I'm not sure I can carry that around, myself."

Kutter nodded, dejected, and it was quiet before Rusty interjected.  "Like, don't let me stop you!  I know you really want this!"

I shook my head.  "No.  We're not going home and having a series of strangers posing as Kutter until they graduate college, and we're not leaving your brother here on his own."

"Fine.  I'll stay too."

Kutter turned her head.  "You can't do that - think of all we'll miss!"

"What?  Prom?  Taking six years to get back to the point where we'll be able to apply for jobs we love and already know how to do?"  Rusty tucked a bit of hair that had fallen in front of her face as she whipped it between me and Kutter behind her ear.  "And that's if we can get back to this point, assuming other-Kutter and other-Rusty haven't left our transcripts a mess but it doesn't matter, because student loans and scholarships are no longer a thing!"

I folded my arms.  "Rusty, there's no need to panic about that.  The girls have been doing great filling in for you, and I will make sure you can attend college."  She looked down a bit, knowing this was true.  "But why this sudden change of heart?  Were you just telling me what I wanted to hear the other day?  Are you just telling Kutter what she wants to hear now?"

"No, I just..."  She sighed.  "I don't know, I'm usually pretty excited about being myself again, but then I remember how I used to get picked on just for being short, and wonder if it will be worse if I can't shake a bunch of Monica habits or if I'm not ready for how people think of me after a year of other-Rusty.  I guess I want to go back but wouldn't exactly be upset if I couldn't."

"Okay, I understand that."  I turned to Kutter.  "And how do you really feel?"

"Kind of the same?  I mean, yeah, I'm tilting a little more to wondering what that new job would be like, but half the time I feel like I'm not qualified for what I do and that would just be even more.  Still, though, I want to be myself again.  Sometimes I feel like I'm losing who I really am inside Katey, or wondering if there's no 'who I really am' because I'm not really imitating some real Katey, but just being myself, and that's kind of scary.  But, also, if it turned out that other-Dad didn't want to break up with her new girlfriend, I could manage."

I admit, I groaned at the thought of just how long my counterpart had kept things going with a co-worker I hadn't been particularly fond of.

"Anyway, you always said a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, and I have to admit, what you're saying makes me wonder which is which in this case.  Maybe I should ask Ms. Grayson how likely things are to go wrong with the Inn, in her experience."

That caught me a bit flat-footed, because for as much as I've learned to fake being Emilia well enough, it's never seemed like the better option for me individually, let alone for us as a family.  That they could suddenly see bright futures as Katey and Monica made sense, though, and I wondered if I would feel the same way if I hadn't been looking for things I could easily leave behind from the start, or if a good situation had found me.

At any rate, I expected to come out of that family meeting with definite plans of how to leave these lives behind, not a promise to ask Annette and any other Inn people what seemed like the right move over the next few days.

-Aidan/Emilia

Aidan/Emilia: Under Our Noses All Along

I had just gotten behind the bar for happy hour last night when someone vaguely familiar came in, sat down at the bar in front of me, and nervously ordered a beer.  She took a couple of quick sips, looked up at the TVs without actually watching any of them, then drained the glass, banging it down on the coaster. 

Odd, I thought.  "You want another?"

She shrugged.  "If I have to in order to sit here."  I said it wasn't that busy yet, and she nodded silently a couple times before chocking her head.  "Do you recognize me?"

I looked at her for a couple seconds.  Not a regular, more a downtown type, thirty-ish, wearing a jacket that matched her skirt and camisole, nude stockings, and knee-high boots with two-inch heels, the sort of outfit that Kutter tended to favor these days, and that's what did it.  "You work with Katey; I saw you at trivia a couple weeks ago."

She named and and reached out her hand.  "Yes!  I'm Annette Grayson, and I need to talk about your son!"

My brain froze as I shook her hand.  "Nice to meet you, but, uh..."

"Katey's your son Kutter, right, and you're Aidan?  I don't have the wrong Emilia, do I?"

"No, that's me, but how?"

She grinned nervously.  "I stayed at the Inn about ten years ago, just before starting college.  Spent a few years as a couple different guys until I get back to my real life, putting it on the blog, though I basically stopped once my life got normal and I figured this maybe shouldn't be the first thing someone sees when they Google me.  Then my friend Jordan forwards me one of your posts talking about Katey's boss Ms. Grayson like 'this you?' and I'm like holy shit, we've had a teenager running our office for the past seven months!"

I give a pinched grin.  "Well, you could have had me."

She shall as she shrugged.  "I mean, her social media skills were a lot better!"  She paused for a second.  "Is it weird that I'm calling her 'she' and 'Katey'?  I mean, I try to respect everyone's identity--"

"They'll be shes for the next few weeks."

"Right.  Anyways, it just made me more impressed with her, and as you know, we all love her, and, well, the boss wants to promote her to social media manager for us and two other imprints."

That stopped me kind of flat.  "Oh. Wow."

"I know, right?  And I can't think of any reason he'd believe for why he shouldn't!  Katey has been fantastic and deserves this, but the next Katey could be a cranky septugenarian who just gave up her landline a year ago.  I don't know how much you know about the publishing business, but that could be a huge hit to us."

"So, what are you saying, that you want Kutter to stay?"

"No, of course not!  If anything, you should probably convince her to give two weeks' notice before she's offered the job. I mean, I'm her boss, but I'm terrible at that part of the job - the last time I suggested that someone might want to investigate an alternate career track given how volatile publishing is, we nearly wound up in arbitration - and, I don't know, maybe as her dad you've got some easy of putting it that makes her feel more mature..."  She groaned and looked at the ceiling for a moment.  "I sound ridiculous."

I shrugged.  "It's hard not to sound ridiculous when talking about that place."  She was looking at her glass, so I asked if she wanted another beer or something stronger. 

"Oh, this calls for whiskey." I obliged, and she downed it and twisted her face.  "I shouldn't be dumping this on you, this is part of my job, not yours, but you know what the fucked up thing is?  I would totally keep Katey on, even knowing what I know.  How irresponsible is that?"

I didn't have an answer, and enough other people were coming in that i couldn't stick by her part of the bar and talk to her.  A couple drinks later, she left, putting a fifty-dollar tip under her coaster. 

I've got no idea how to talk to Kutter about this.  It feels like it should be straightforward, but who knows how she's going to take it? 

-Aidan/Emilia

Aidan/Emilia: Please let us change back before swimsuit season.

So I got back from a shift at the bookstore the other day, and my younger son had left her bedroom door open, posing in front of the mirror in a string bikini, taking selfies and then staring at them critically. 

I tried to sound cool with it.  "Beaches open already?"  Surprisingly, she actually yipes, puts a hand in front of her groin and the other arm across her breasts, and quickly slams the door with her body.  This seems kind of unusual - Rusty certainly likes showing off her "Monica" body, and we'll all kind of run through the apartment half-dressed when we're in a rush - so I rap on the door.  "Everything okay?  I didn't mean to catch you by surprise."

She opened the door with a crop-top and jeans clearly just quickly pulled on over the swimsuit.  "No, it's fine, I just didn't think you'd be home for another hour."  She grabbed a glass of water and took a sip.  "I guess some of them never close, but Razzie's been talking about it finally being bikini weather, so I wanted to check and see if I could pull it off before she says we should hit the beach some Saturday or something."

"Really?  Don't take this the wrong way, but this doesn't seem like the sort of thing you usually worry about.  I really wish you would, but if it's suddenly a problem, I have to wonder if something's up."

"Nothing's...  I mean, nothing's happened to me or anything, it's just that wearing a bikini means my whole butt is out there and I can't see if it looks weird, and the top feels different from a regular bra, and, I dunno, it kind of doesn't feel like I'm wearing underwear but does feel like it could all come apart.  Sure, if someone unties something without me noticing and gets pictures of me naked, it won't be my problem for long, but, like, it feels kinda precarious."

I nodded.  "Well, first, your butt doesn't look weird.  Speaking as your gym buddy, you've got a great butt that you've put a lot of work into."

"Eww, Dad, gross!"

I raised my hands.  "Hey, like I said, that's your roommate and workout partner Emilia talking!  But as your dad, I can give you the old lectures about peer pressure and not doing anything you're not ready for.  And I'm sure Monica left you a one-piece swimsuit or two, maybe stuff for actually swimming laps or the like."

She nodded.  "Oh, yeah, she did, but I kinda wanted to try all the sexy stuff before we turn back.  Have a bunch of photos on a thumb drive saying I killed it later, and it feels good, you know?  Not so much folks saying I'm pretty, but that I chose a nice outfit or that I must work out."  She paused.  "You think I'll still like working out when I'm myself again?"

I nodded.  We'd been given the lives of three healthy and attractive young women, but there was a lot that we now know took effort despite having taken it for granted before, and compliments, especially when they come from (other) women can feel pretty good even if I feel like Emilia's genetics are doing most of the work.  "I don't know how much is that Monica's body is an endorphin factory and how much is that being her put you in a spot where you discovered you can like it, but I figure you might."  I paused for a second, wary of the next question.  "Are you going to miss being Monica?"

She shrugged.  "I mean, sure, but not the bras and periods and heels.  God, I can't wait to stand to pee again, even if the lines weren't so much shorter.  I'll probably really miss everything in the city, and Razzie and Chandra, and bar trivia.  It feels crazy that I'm going to have to wait years for people to treat me like an adult again!"

I had a brief thought about Rusty and Kutter throwing who was responsible for paying rent in New York in my face if I ever tried to impose a curfew.

"But, I've got to admit, when I'm doing Korean lessons or watching other people in class, that kind of feels right, you know?  Like where I should be.  And there's so much Monica probably learned in school that people expect me to know, and I'll sometimes hear from other-Rusty and freak out because I'd forgotten something or someone. I'm kind of ready to be done."

I gave her a big grin.  "You've got no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that, given how well you and Kutter have done and how quickly you adapted!"

- Aidan/Emilia

(That said, she went out to run laps around the park in just her sports bra and spandex shorts this morning!)

Aidan/Emilia: Ladies Out Celebrating

I wasn't expecting the kids to come into the bar on Valentine's Day, although I'm not sure what else I expected them to be doing.  Neither has a boyfriend (or a girlfriend, I suppose, although they certainly seem to talk about how their bodies react to boys a lot more than how they react to girls); we've all collectively decided that would be a bad idea which was only underlined when we booked our return trip to the Inn in June after making sure that the folks living our lives would be there during the two-week block before us, and they've co-ordinated with the folks living their lives, whose forms have been in limbo since September.  It must be a nightmare to becomes yourself again if you get changed early in the summer!

I didn't quite know what to expect for business that night aside from that.  As I said before, it's kind of guy-coded and not exactly a date location, and on top of that, that weekend was kind of a sports dead zone:  Football over, baseball just starting spring training, the NHL and NBA both doing all-star breaks of sorts which didn't have much on tap for Friday night, and New York City generally has enough big-league action that the only people really watching college sports are alumni and those who also have a gambling app open on their phone.  Still, it was a big going-out night, we had some live music, and folks were looking to fill seats.  I'd expected to be waiting tables, but they've started to like me tending bar.  I'm friendly enough that guys hang around but I'm not one to play favorites or get interested enough to ignore the other customers, and i still jump a little when someone slaps my ass on the floor. 

I was kind of in the zone when Kutter and Rusty came in, found a couple empty seats, and ordered their first beers.  I made a comment about "Galentine's Day" and they asked if I'd just made it up - I think a couple girls their apparent age might have got it but they were about ten when Parks and Recreation ended and never wound up binging it - and they said they were celebrating "Monica's new job".

I must have looked pretty surprised, because Rusty had just been laid off a couple days before.  Her employers had said something about having to tighten their belts with the upcoming tariffs and congestion pricing, but Rusty said she hadn't been landing a lot of new accounts lately; they'd evidently found everywhere in the city that was interested in stocking Chinese energy drinks and expanding into Long Island or Connecticut had diminishing returns.  She'd seen it coming but thought Razzy or Chandra would be let go, but apparently it was last in, first out. 

I'd underestimated how good she was at that job, as it turns out; at some point in the last six months, she had knocked on the door of not just every bodega, but every small business that night have a refrigerator in their break room, including one of those language schools you see advertised on the subway.  She mentioned that she was being laid off during her last call, and they said they had an opening for someone to work the phones and also handle bookings for corporate clien.ts.  They already knew and liked her, and while they couldn't offer the commissions that the beverage company could, the base salary was about the same and she'd be eligible for free lessons.  There is really only time for one session between then and the return to the Inn, she figured she should at least come out of this knowing the Korean alphabet and how to say hello, please, and thank you.

It was kind of interesting observing them on a night out mostly without me - they weren't dressed as sexy as New Year's Eve, but showing a bit more cleavage and leg than when it was all three of us, but they weren't really teasing.  Their attention was mostly on each other, although they were polite when someone paid them a compliment or tried to but them a drink, saying they were just into hanging with their bestie tonight.  A couple made comments about them being more than friends, and Rusty started to respond to the first with something along the lines of "you have no idea" before Kutter kicked her in the shins and said not to encourage anybody.  Rusty got the message and said something along the lines of it being gross, and Kutter responded that it was obviously the case, but there was actually a phenomenon where siblings who had never met or who were separated long enough to not recognize each other were actually more attracted to each other than random people until they found out and society's incest taboos kicked in, and something like that could be at play with the three of us, although maybe in the opposite direction.  Rusty rolled his eyes and asked why Kutter would even be reading anything about that, and she said it was to make sure nothing like that happened.

I'm taking it as a sign of maturity that Rusty did not immediately start acting like Kutter was her girlfriend afterward.

Striking maturity, really, because Rusty's sixteenth birthday was just a couple weeks later, and we celebrated with go-karting and video games at a huge warehouse of a building just outside of Brooklyn, and while I'd been bracing myself for the kids to want to go in rompers or something, it was loose t-shirts, slacks that didn't shrink-wrap themselves to our butts, sneakers, ponytails sticking out the back of baseball caps.  There were bar areas, but we never went there all night.   It wasn't even a bit my idea, either - I asked Rusty what she wanted to do for her birthday, and that's what she said.  I didn't bring it up afterwards - I'll admit, I'm kind of worried that questioning it might make her think she should be even more all-in on being an adult woman until we go back, or being scared at just how well they can partition their lives - but it was really nice to feel like I was doing normal stuff with my teenage boys, even if the kart's seatbelt did find a way of digging into the valley between my breasts.

-Aidan/Emilia

Aidan/Emilia: "Is This a Double or a Triple Life?"

I've been a bit too busy to write over the past few weeks, for maybe counter-intuitive reasons:  As expected, the retail job at the bookstore cut my hours a fair amount after Christmas, but they didn't let me go.  I was reliable enough over the holidays that they wanted to keep me on, but, obviously, there weren't going to be nearly so many hours.  So I spent my free time looking for work again, and, surprisingly, I found another job within just a couple of weeks.

The catch is:  I'm occasionally bartending, but mostly waitressing.  In a sports bar.

Well, maybe that's not a "catch", but it's obviously something I would not have been considering a couple months ago, so here we are.  I was very reluctant to consider this sort of job during my first go-around, knowing that what I make would be tied to my appearance and willingness to exploit it, even down to outright flirting, and I don't know that it's exactly growth that I'm more willing to put on a tight t-shirt and smile at guys talking to its contents rather than my face.

Which is a different set of problems than the first time I worked as a bartender.  That was when I actually was Emilia's age, rather than just looking it.  The reasons were the same - student loans and rent had to be paid and my other job wasn't full time - but most everything else was different.  The bar I worked in back then was a dive, with a 19" TV in one corner, shitty beers on draft, and not a lot of call for mixing drinks.  A lot of folks at the bar didn't really want to talk, and only a few really tipped more than the one or two spare dollars they had after settling their tab.  Sometimes you had to fight to get them in a cab at the end of the night, knowing that the cost of that was basically coming out of your tip. 

Now?  The place I'm at is nice.  Not quite such that families come for dinner and don't drink nice, but it's clean, well-lit, and we've got a whole bunch of 4K TVs tuned to various games.  All the guys want to talk to me, and being just a little bit friendly earns me more in tips than I make at the bookstore, especially when I'm behind the bar.  There are a ridiculous amount of beers on tap and in bottles, and it's rare to get someone who just wants whiskey-induced oblivion.  Also, between being in New York and how the clientele all has rideshare apps on their phones, I don't find myself fretting about whether someone I've served is going to kill a family of four on the drive home very often. 

The kids were kind of surprised that I'd go for this kind of work after New Year's, but I told them it was kind of their fault; if I could see Kutter determined to not compromise as she lived Katey's life, I could do the same - and also, for what it's worth, I kind of enjoyed talking with that hedge fund guy until I realized I was kind of trapped, and enjoyed the steakhouse on New Year's Eve.  It made me think about how I missed being in male-coded spaces, and how I've tended to cocoon myself in neutral places that sort of tilt female for the past few months:  Bookshops, markets, a gym that took pains to cater to female clients.  Even if the bar we go to for trivia is kind of bro-y, I'm there with a group of women.

Truth be told, the weirdest night there was a few days ago, when a co-worker from the bookstore showed up and saw me there, made-up, wearing that tight t-shirt and black jeans to match, and said he had to do a double-take, because I'm pretty businesslike, wearing loose outfits and light makeup when selling or restocking books.  He asked how long I'd been living a double life, and I laughed, saying at least since August, and if he saw me at home, he'd say it was at least a triple life.  He raised an eyebrow and asked if I wanted him to see me at home, and I kind of froze while trying to figure out how to say no without hurting his feelings.  Fortunately, he laughed, saying his boyfriend would kill him and I let out a sigh of relief.

(Question for the other Inn people:  I can't say I was ever really good at telling whether folks were straight, bi, gay, cis, or trans, or any of the other parts of LGBTQIA+, but I feel like I'm worse at it now.  Does your brain rewiring short-circuit that?  Does living with the kids, who are also in this situation, mess with my baseline?)

Not sure why I said that, though; I've usually got my guard up just dealing with guys who have had a few too many at this job, and have tried to be really careful about not making cute comments about who I really am all along, just because it feels like it might be off-putting and because it might be the sort of thing that trips a person up.  It actually had me a little thrown, and the kids could tell when I got home.

Rusty shrugged it off.  "So what?  I make jokes like that all the time.  Folks look at you funny, you say 'sorry, you had to be there', and you move on, having amused yourself for a couple seconds.  It's no big deal."

Kutter nodded.  "Same.  Although, the important question - is he cute?"

Rusty snort-laughed.  "Oh, man, I hadn't even thought of that angle!  Well, Dad, is he?"

I rolled my eyes.  "I dunno, maybe?  Just mostly young and, you know, gay."  I stopped and thought about it for a second.  "Nah, it's not about that at all.  I think I just worked a long shift and seeing him kind of loosened all the borders between parts of my life."  I got up from the chair where I'd been sitting and headed toward the bathroom, ready to shower and go to bed.

Honestly, I can't wait for reservations to return to the Inn to open back up in a couple days.  Too bad I'm going to have to see this guy at work before then.

-Aidan/Emilia

Aidan/Emilia: "What, and Miss Out?"

Rusty was not exactly pleased when he got "home" Sunday night with a bag now than he left with, asked Kutter what kind of haul she had scored, and saw us gland at the ceiling and each other before a little more prodding got Kutter to blurt out what Katey's father had tried to do.  "So that's why you checked in on me and didn't say why?  I nodded.  "And you!  Why wouldn't you tell me?  The three of us promised to have each other's backs!"

"There was nothing you could do, and i handled it!'

"With booze?"

"Just beer!  Maybe a little more than usual, but i knew Dad would be home soon enough!  I'm fine!"  She rolled her eyes.   "Look, you don't have to worry about me!  You're still my kid brother even if Monica's a couple months older than Katey."  She closed the laptop she been writing one of her videos on and said she was going to work in her room. 

I'd been waking dishes, so I wiped my hands and put an arm around Rusty's shoulder.  "Hey, I'm glad you're concerned about your brother, but we've been together since she got here.  She's holding together.  Now, how about you?  It looks like you had fun."

She shrugged.  "Monica's family is nice.  Kind of on my butt - or her butt - about not having a boyfriend, but i guess she's super-picky or something.  Never really noticed on her socials, but apparently nobody lasts more than a month or so."  She laughed.  "One of the cousins suggested that maybe she was looking for a girlfriend, which freaked her dad out, but, honestly, who has time for all that in their twenties?  Go to the gym, full day of work, and then I'm supposed to shower and change and go out again?  I really don't know how you and Mom found the time!"

I laughed.  "It was less frantic then, but you find the right person, and your priorities rearrange."  I chuckled.  "But wait till we're back home."

Kutter apologized for snapping at us when she came out of her room the next day, but we both said we were fine; she'd been through a lot.  We got texts from Razzie asking if we were around for trivia, since Chandra and Lettie weren't, and said sure. 

It was a bit of a different vibe, but i think we were all feeling good about Manhattan being turned down to about 80% that night.  I did keep a bit of an eye on Kutter, but she wasn't drinking more than usual or getting terms around men or anything, which is probably better than I'd be doing in her place.

We actually squeaked out a win, which had a lot to do with only half the teams showing up, but it felt good.  Of course, it also led to the second-place team buying us a round of drinks and mentioning that the brokerage firm that they worked for was letting them throw a New Year's Eve party the next night with an open bar and a heated balcony with a view of Times Square and everything, and it would be nice if we could come and make it more fun.  Rusty immediately said that sounded amazing while I said I didn't know, lying about having a lot of invitations. 

The kids were quiet on the subject for the subway ride home and up to the apartment, but that was apparently just for appearances' sake, because as soon as we were inside, Rusty was all "i know it's not really your thing, but this is once in a lifetime chance!  New York on New Year's Eve, and did you hear the DJ they've got?  We've gotta go!'

I looked at her incredulously.  "Really?  You want to walk into a pot of entitled, coked-up finance bros less than a week after what happened to Kutter?"

Kutter raised her hands.  "Hey, don't put it on me; I think it sounds awesome."

"Really?  What if--"

Like they'd practiced it, they both reached into their handbags and pulled out spray cans of mace. 

"Since when--"

"Dad, I hand-sell soda to bodegas in some sketchy neighborhoods.  Razzie showed me where to get it after the first time someone groped me at a street fair."

"Ms. Grayson gave this to me when she told me never to be alone in a room with the nepo baby son of the founder."

I shook my head.  "Look, I can't stop you, but it seems like a really bad idea."

Rusty leaned her head back.  "That the thing, though - you can!  That guy only texted one name to be put on the list, and he didn't even ask us ours!"

Kutter nodded.  "Yeah, that thing you said Thursday about me being sexier than you was sweet and there's some truth in it, but it's not like we're talking the most mature guys around here.  And some of the ones who do know what they like do in fact go for the blonde with the big boobs."

"Yeah, and...  Wait, Dad called you sexy?"

She nodded.  "Yeah.  Maybe i needed to hear it, but it was weird."

I didn't break that night, and settled in for a nice long day of watching football when they say on either side of me with their laptops and phones so that they could share the pictures and videos of New Year's festivities from Midway to New Zealand to Australia and on every hour, as well as texts about parties they'd been invited to and how they'd be watching the ball drop on TV,  or how they weren't both invited, the guys they didn't trust who would be there, and how if they did go to Times Square, it was one of the biggest nights of the year for pickpockets, purse snatching, and even girls getting pulled into alleys and--

"Fine!  We'll go to the party!  My good, it's like I actually raised two teenage girls!"

Rusty hugged me.  "And you would have been a great girl dad!"  Then she ran to her room, and i turned to Kutter.  "You guys don't find this disturbing?"

She shrugged.  "I mean, yeah, kind of, but i just figure whatever changed the rest of our bodies also gave us the brain chemistry of straight, cisgender girls, and rolling with that beats tormenting yourself like the kids at school afraid to come out to their parents.  The Inn will change us back and we'll be straight, cis guys again."

I chuckled. "Just like riding a bike, huh?"  She said it only made sense.  "I guess.  Then again, I didn't even know the word cisgender when I was your age.  Barely know it now, so maybe I just don't have the vocabulary for this."

This thought was interrupted by Rusty rubbing out of the room with a green dress that was going to have to stretch to fit her and matching heels.  "What do you think?  I've been a little afraid to wear it out because of how tight it is on my butt, but it's not a night for subtlety."  Kutter have her a thumbs up, and i rolled my eyes. 

"Hey, guys would like dressing up more if it wasn't always made to feel like an obligation that makes you blend in rather than stand out.  Go to any museum and look at portraits of kings, military officers from 150 years ago...  Heck, weren't you alive in the 70s?"

"I was a kid!"

After that, they dragged me into Emilia's room, opened the closet, shoved the practical things I kept up front for easy access to the aside, and then Rusty's eyes went wide as he saw something silvery.  "Come on, don't you want to wear this at least once?"

I really didn't, but that hardly seemed to matter, and soon enough I was in this dress that may have had a neck clasp but was slit to the navel, splaying wide enough that a bra was out of the question and Rusty had to let me borrow some double sided tape lest my nipples jiggle free.  There were matching heels and nail polish - although Kutter looked at the state of my toenails, got a file out of the bathroom, and said they were only going to do this for me once - so I got those painted.  They had me wear the dress around the apartment and walk around to make sure I hadn't forgotten how to balance or to cross my legs in the two months since getting a job where wearing flats was not just okay, but encouraged.  After they got dress themselves, they did my makeup and put glitter in my hair.

Looking in the mirror, it wasn't just that I looked like a different person, even considering that I've gotten used to Emilia's face over the last four months or so, but I kind of felt like I was seeing these three girls the way they must have come across as a group in college:  Emilia, tall, blonde, and busty, flaunting what she's got; Monica trim, cool, and confident; Katey less glammed-up  but the softer face making her look kind of relaxed as the goofy wingman.  They/we look right as a group, even if my and the kids don't entirely map to the images.

Downtown was already kind of a mess by the time we got there around 8:30 or so - and Kutter had us use a rideshare, even though they were alarmingly expensive on NYE, but it was too cold for the amount of leg Rusty and I were showing (Kutter wore boots) and we didn't want to get mussed up on the subway  Rusty had apparently texted Razzie when I was busy being fussed with, so she was waiting for us.

The guy at the front desk of this office building looked slightly amused to be acting as a bouncer, but not exactly irritated as he was probably getting some very generous overtime.  He found Emilia's name on the list, shrugged when I said these were my friends, and pointed us to the right elevator.

We didn't immediately see the guys from trivia, but noted the weird vibe immediately: lots of guys in suits, lots of girls dressed like me, few of whom gave the impression of working in a financial firm.  I mean, yeah, appearances can be deceiving, but I know holiday-party flirting with co-workers, and this was definitely "play my cards right and I could be set for life" flirting.

At first, I spent most of my time keeping an eye on Kutter, but she didn't spend a lot of time at the bar like I feared; she was there to dance and way more comfortable doing it than I was in those shoes.  I did eventually catch up with the guy who invited us, and we danced a bit, but I was pretty terrible.  Imagine an SNL skit where a girl doesn't really know what her hips are doing and is torn between thrusting her boobs out because they're what guys are looking at and being terrified that the tape will give and that was me.  I convinced him that I was a complete nerd, and that did not seem to be what he was looking for, no matter how the girl looked.  He didn't seem to mind much when I excused myself to use the ladies' room, although I was amused to come out and see him dancing with Rusty.

I kind of figured my work there was done and found a stool at a portable bar that had been erected in a corner and asked for a bourbon.  They had the good stuff, and some senior manager noticed my good taste.

We talked for a while, and it was actually kind of nice, at first.  I don't get a chance to talk to men my real age that often, not for more than a few minutes at a time, and it was easy to fall into the right rhythms, and I didn't really think, hey, shouldn't he find it weird that this 23-year-old girl is connecting so easily with a guy twice her age? until I was another drink in and really wary about getting off the stool and walking around.  Of course, he wouldn't be - middle-aged white men making the sort of money he does kind of assume that they're the default and anyone different is strange (yeah, I'm more acutely aware of this than I used to be), and most of zoomer girls he meets have probably taken step to make themselves more appealing and ingratiating.  I was kind of looking to either side of him when I could, seeing if I could catch the kids' eyes, but they were on the other side of the patio beyond a lot of people.  I also became kind of aware that he had placed himself such that it was hard to step down and move around him, all the more so when he put his hand on my back when the countdown started and everybody had moved toward the edge of the balcony to watch the ball.

They'd gotten down to six when I heard a familiar voice say "There you are, sexy - you're about to miss it!" and when I looked up Razzie was pulling me up and pulling me across the room.  At around three, she quickly said we had to sell it right before yelling "Happy New Year!" and kissing me full on the lips.

I must have looked shocked when we disengaged, while she looked sheepish.  "I'm sorry!  This was really uncool, but he's our friend's boss, and he likes to pressure his people to give him girls' numbers, but thinks gay people are kind of gross.  Monica would have come to grab you herself, but, well, I kind of wanted to.  Kind of have for a while, but it doesn't look like you're into it."

I wasn't sure whether to protest or not - she was a good kisser and the piercing in her lip didn't feel nearly as weird as I would have thought, but, no, I really wasn't into it even though I felt like I should be.  She laughed at me still looking dumbfounded.  "Hey, it's okay, I'm not usually into Barbie dolls myself.  You just have a really unique vibe."  She laughed.  "Man, when I met you guys, I thought you were some sort of lesbian polycule, but that ain't it.  You're just really good friends, which is really cool."  We'd reached the elevators, so talking got awkward, and we were back down at the street before we knew it.  "So, uh, I should probably go.  See you at trivia!"  And with that, she was off to the nearest subway station.

Surprisingly, Rusty and Kutter were among the next group the elevator disgorged, Rusty with a smirk on her face.  "Well, that was hot!"

I groaned.  "You saw it?"

Kutter held up her phone.  "I am putting this on a memory card as soon as we get back to the apartment so I'll have it forever, even after I no longer have access to Katey's cloud storage."

"She was just trying to convince that guy I wouldn't be interested!"

Kutter put her phone away.  "Uh, would you be?"

I shook my head.  "I don't think so.  Heck, I don't think I'd do much more than, you know, hang out at the bar talking just to talk to someone if I met him as myself.  Although..."  The kids started to grin a little sarcastically, Rusty more so than Kutter.  "I mean, look, I'm not going to lie to you, when he touched my back, there was a bit of excitement about what could happen next along with the feeling that this could get out of my control, and there really wasn't with Razzie.  Maybe what you said about having these bodies' orientations and the like is true."  They seemed to consider that as we stood against the building.  Finally, I crossed my arms over all the sideboob that was getting hit by the wind.  "Whatever.  Thanks to this dress you guys insisted on, I'm freezing my tits off, so let's get home."

They agreed, and we figured we were okay with the subway this time, even if it was crowded as heck.  By the time we got to the apartment, the three or four drinks finally caught up to me, and I basically dropped on my bed in just my panties, which I never do, figuring there would be some sort of longer talk the next day, but they were gone to their jobs by the time I woke up, and then I was off to mine before they left.

Maybe there's not much to talk about - we've got the bodies of young women with standard-issue hormones, there were guys around, but what are we going to do, considering we're halfway through our time like this?  As much as there was some knee-jerk physical reaction for me, it still felt weird, and I can't imagine it not feeling weird by the time we go home.

-Aidan/Emilia

Aidan/Emilia: Hardest Moment as a Dad

I'd had vague ideas of seeing the Dylan movie after my double today - the kids roll their eyes at the trailer, because Bob Dylan is just an old weirdo to them, they imprinted on Walk Hard young and can't take any musician biography seriously, and apparently retain the teenage boy view of Timothée Chalamet as kind of too pretty and effeminate rather than swooning like young women - but the shop was nearly as crazy as the day after Thanksgiving, so I wound up just heading home with the intent of seeing if the bubble bath with a bottle of wine was all it's cracked up to be.  When I got up to the apartment, though, the light was on and Kutter was sitting cross-legged and barefoot on the couch, three empty beer bottles on the floor in front of her and a half-finished one in her hand. 

It made me stop short, some instinct telling me to give her space rather than run up to her, though I squatted to get in her eyeline.  "Hey, bud, what's wrong?"

She took a deep breath and a swig from the bottle.  "I'm pretty sure I know why Katey isn't coming back."

"Oh?"  I didn't feel a need to prompt; like with Rusty at the gym, Kutter will let worries out if you give her space and a little permission. 

And it came out.  There were already a bunch of cars in the driveway and on the curb, so the rideshare driver dropped her a couple houses down.  There was a girl about her age playing with a baby in the snow in one yard, and she lit up when she saw "Katey", picking the boy up and waving.  Katey recognized her from Instagram, and she introduced her to the kid, then expressed surprise that she was back after mostly spending the holidays at school. She said she watched all Katey's TikToks, but then lowered her voice.  "Looks like a crowded house over there.  I'm going to be here all weekend, so stop in any time you need a break. Any. Time."

Kutter thought that was odd, but maybe it was some private joke.  She took a breath and went into Katey's family home.

It was not like our Christmases; there were little kids running around, multiple people unwrapping at once rather than building suspense and asking what gave you that idea, cousins who wanted to know everything about the big city, and uncles and aunts that she did a pretty good job of pretending to know by noting anyone calling and responding to names.  Dinner was noisy chaos.  She was ready to go to sleep by ten, earning cracks about not getting much of New York's nightlife.

Around 1am, she woke up.  Katey's father was straddling her, unbuckling his pants.

"What?!"

She nodded.  "Yeah.  So, obviously, I started to scream, and he put a hand over my mouth, like, hard enough to press my head down into the mattress.  I remembered the lamp on the bedside table, and reached out for it, but he used his other hand to pin it down.  So, I figured, I don't go to the gym like you and Rusty, but I've got really bony knees, and I rammed one right into his balls as hard as I could."

I gaped at the matter-of-fact way she said that., but..  "Good for you."

"Yeah.  He fell backward, which meant he was kind of sitting on my legs and too heavy to move, so I grabbed that lamp and smashed it into the side of his head.  Twice, when it looked like he was about to punch me in the face."  She took a deep breath.  "He fell off the bed, so I jumped up and ran outside, barefoot, and banged on the next-door neighbor's door.  I kept looking over my shoulder, and I think the door to Katey's parents' house had opened by the time her friend's dad took a look at me and yanked me inside."

She looked at her beer, and put it down, thinking.  "So, obviously, this had happened before, but I'm guessing that the last time, Katey didn't say quite so plainly that her father tried to rape her, because they all kind of winced at the word.  Then they asked if I wanted to call the police, and I said what I wanted was to get the fuck back to New York and never come back there again."  She stopped and looked up at me.  "Should I have stayed and filed a report?  He deserves to go to jail, but I just wanted to run like a coward--"

"Hey."  I inched a little closer.  "Given the situation w're in, you probably did all you could do.  Just practically, by the time it were to go to trial, it would be someone else who would have to testify against him.  Plus, I looked up sex crime statistics when we first changed, and--"

She nodded.  "Yeah, so did I.  Still..."  She finished her beer.  "I just don't get it, though!  It's sick, and I'm not even sexy like you and Rusty!  Why the hell would he do this to me, or her?"  She stumbled forward and grabbed me, burying her face in my shoulder for the first time in a long time.

I let out a sigh of relief, because I had just started to figure she might be afraid of me after that.  I patted her on the back.  "Hey, I don't know, and I'm glad I don't know, and you don't know.  I'm glad the thought just doesn't enter our heads.  I don't think it's even about attraction, though.  I think he just wanted to have his daughter completely under his thumb and scared of him.  Heck, coming back for the first time in years, he probably wanted to show Katey who was boss."

I could feel her nodding, and then something struck her, and she pulled back.  "Wait, what about Katey?  Why the hell didn't she warn me about this?  Did she like it?  I mean, okay, it was scary, but the whole flight back here, I couldn't help but think how lucky I was because if he'd really wanted me unable to move, he could have, but if she didn't resist--"

"Hey.  You don't know, I don't know.  Look, think of how scared and confused you are now, and imagine, well, I don't want to say imagine it was your dad--"

"You would never!"

"Thank you.  But someone like that can tell his daughter it's normal and she'll believe him.  Maybe right up until she gets a chance to leave."  I shrugged.  "I mean, I don't know.  This is all new to me, too. Real girls would probably know better.  Or maybe not.  Shame makes people do strange things, especially when the person in question shouldn't be ashamed."

She shrugged.  "I guess.  Anyway, they offered to book me a ticket and lend me some clothes, but then I realized I had left my wallet and phone over in the bedroom, so the dad said to stay there.  I did, and about half an hour later he was back with my purse, phone, and carry-on bag.  I'm not sure how he convinced Katey's father to let him in to get them.  I had to connect in Atlanta to get back here, but I was out of that town early this morning.  Then you got in, and we're allll caught up."

She stood, grabbing her head and looking kind of dizzy.  "Whoa, I don't think I've slept or eaten anything but the beer since then.  I think I need to sleep more, though.  G'night."

I said I'd leave my door open if she needed to talk more, and she nodded.  She'd started to walk off when I said "one more thing."

She looked at me, curious, as I stood.  "Part of me wants to let that thing about how you're not sexy go, because, well, it's weird for me, and as a dad I don't necessarily want you thinking of yourself as a sexy girl, but you are.  Like, I'm not sexy like this.  I'm what guys your age, your real age, think is sexy before they've learned what they really like.  You're kind and funny and good at what you do and you seem at ease in your skin, even though it's not your skin anymore.  You're sexy as heck and you shouldn't think that's a bad thing or try to be less than you are because of one bad day."

The corners of his lips twitched upward for the first time that night.  "Uh, okay.  Thanks."  Then she turned and went to her room.

Me, I immediately texted Rusty to find out if she was all right.  She texted back a thumbs up and then a selfie of herself drinking margaritas with some of Monica's cousins.

Don't know if I'll get to sleep myself.

-Aidan/Emilia

Aidan/Emilia: Well, that was a weird Christmas

It starts with the kids and I actually kind of more in sync than most mornings - they both had to catch morning flights, so we wound up sitting around the little tree at 5am, dressed in slippers and the sweatpants and t-shirts we'd slept in.  Didn't even put on a bra, so I'm sure my nipples will be in every picture we took.  I laughed, saying that it seemed like only yesterday they were so eager to see what Santa had brought them that they got up before dawn until they became teenagers who slept in practically until noon.  Rusty said that still sounded like a great plan.

After last week's hemming and hawing, I eventually decided to get them things that would be useful now and that I could see them bringing home.  For Kutter, that was a camera and some accessories - a ring light, a gimbal stabilizer, and an external hard drive.  The camera probably wasn't much better than what she's got in her phone, but it's good to have something built for a job sometimes.  Rusty got a Blu-ray player and what the guy at the store assured me was a good starter pack of Korean movies that could be hard to find on streaming services.  This apartment actually doesn't have any device that plays discs (welcome to being a zoomer, Aidan!) and the one in the living room back home is old.

With each other, they were oddly sensible - chocolates and coffees and craft beers and bottles of hot sauce with an alarming amount of flames on the packages (Rusty, of late, has discovered that she really likes a lot of spice and heat on occasion, after she went to some local ethnic eatery and they deemed her Asian enough to handle the "real" version of a dish), stuff that they figured they would use up in the next few months even if they only had the good stuff every once in a while.  

I got some of that from them, too; ciders and the fanciest box of artisanal peanut butter cups you've ever seen (they've been buying me the tree-shaped boxes of Reese's since they were five and six, so this is a bit of an upgrade).  Kutter got me an autographed "Advanced Reading Copy" of a thriller by a favorite author that should be big next summer.  Rusty discovered that apparently Atari still exists and is selling updated versions of 30-year-old game consoles, so she got me one of those and some cartridges, which I guess means I'm not totally introducing her to the idea of physical media.

(There were also some gag gifts that I'd prefer not to discuss - what was the idea behind competing over who could get the other the most outlandish heels?)

Then Kutter beat Rusty to the shower but was quicker than usual, and soon they were dressed, made-up, and on their way out the door.  I felt like I should have accompanied them to the airport or seen them off, but it would have just been taking the subway even if one wasn't going to JFK and the other to Laguardia.  Just a reminder that I was not properly dad-ing.

Soon, though, it was my turn to shower and dress for the holiday, which I'd left in the hands of the kids, telling them this would not be a good time for pranks.  I still kind of felt like they were kidding me - candy-cane tights, a sparkly green skirt, and a sweater with a reindeer on it that didn't hide much of my figure and which didn't feel entirely appropriate for Zooming with the parents - but apparently, it was:  Emilia's mom and her little sister were wearing matching sweaters even though full breasts apparently run in the family and her sister is still a senior in high school.  When I opened the box they'd shipped, it was from Victoria's Secret and contained both flannel pajamas and some new variety of bra that Emilia's mother swears by.  I'd sent gift cards, and so had they, with a pre-loaded Visa debit card discretely slipped into a card so the little sister didn't have to see it.  We somehow managed small talk with me drawing on Facebook and "Mom" remembering what it was like to just be starting out in a new city.

The call with her father was a little different.  There was a stepmother who said hi at the start but then busied herself in the background; I gather she and Emilia never became close.  Her dad asked if I was already looking for new work since the bookstore would likely be a last-in-first-out situation, and I lied and said yes.  Lots more questions about if I was being careful in the big city, and I admit I did chuckle at one point when he used some exact words I'd spoken to Rusty & Kutter, although I bluffed and said we'd had this exact conversation at graduation when he asked what was funny.  Anyway, I'd sent him gift cards and he had done the same, plus some nice gloves that you don't have to take off to use your phone and a knit jester's hat.  He didn't feel the need to be discrete about having sent a prepaid debit card.

After that second call, I did the thing where I retreated to Emilia's room and flopped backward on her bed, feet touching the floor, and just staring at the ceiling for a bit.  I used to do it because being a girl has just been too much for me, but today it was the lying, and also something seemingly bigger than that.  The parents were my age, and Emilia's sister less than a year older than Kutter, and it was something to really do the full role-reversal; dizzyingly strange at points and all too easy at others.  It's one thing to put on a bra and work an entry-level job and scrape to pay rent but then come home and be able to be yourself with your kids (I've done some of that before and at a certain level you just accommodate your body until you can tune any signals of discomfort it's sending out), but immersing yourself in someone else's life, even for a couple of hours, is something different.

And on top of that, I knew that pretty soon, Kutter & Rusty were going to be doing it even more than I was.  Maybe better?  After a while, it led me to thinking about the guilt I'd felt about not being able to drive them to the airport earlier, and how over the past couple of months, I've slowly been relating to them more as roommates than as Dad, even with the morning's sentimental gifts, and they were about to get the better part of a week of people just relating to them as parents with their kids.  And mothers!  They would have mothers for the first time in a decade!  Two people doting on them and worrying about them that they didn't have to share with their brothers!

I don't think I quite had a panic attack, but I laid there a while.  Then, some time later, I realized I was hungry, because I hadn't actually had any breakfast and it was 1pm or so by then.

For some folks, that's bad, they'll feel like they don't deserve food or binge or the like, but it tends to hit me as "here's a problem you can deal with, so tend to that".  So I did.  I grabbed a coat, plus the gloves and hat Emilia's father had given me, and went downstairs, glad I was in New York.  Lots of places were closed, but lots of places weren't, and while they were quieter than usual, they weren't sad, empty places that reminded you that you were sad and lonely.  No, there were lots of people grabbing a slice of pizza for lunch for whatever their own reasons were and it was kind of no big deal.

Then I kept going, explored New York at Christmas.  Sure, it doesn't quite snow like it used to here, so maybe it's not the exact sort of magical that it used to be, but I only saw that in the movies and on TV, so I walked through Central Park, through Times Square, up Broadway, and every other thing Emilia's phone could find that was a noteworthy Christmas decoration.  And the thing about New York's bigness is that, while it's often annoying when you're packed into a bus or tourists are choking downtown, it can also mean that things can be done at scale.  Some of it just isn't possible anywhere else, certainly not in our suburb or the nearest city.

Of course, another part of New York is that it gets dark at 4:15 or so this time of year on top of being cold.  I decided to treat myself, found a nice steakhouse, and let them all wonder about the pretty girl having a steak, red wine, and ice cream by herself on Christmas.  Then back home and more time playing Atari than since I was eight (though we probably had a Nintendo by then).

And then, writing this, because the crazy day seemed to need summing up.  Tomorrow, back to work!

-Aidan/Emilia

Aidan/Emilia: Happy... Something

I suppose almost everybody who posts here has a story about how Thanksgiving was strange in different lives, but the truth of the matter is that Thanksgiving is strange for us every year.  Firstly, Kutter's birthday is in the last week of November, and has fallen on the day of the holiday a couple of times.  It's led to some jokes about how, even when it doesn't actually fall during the break, Thanksgiving is "Kutter's Birthday (Observed)".

The other reason is that, six years and one week after Kutter was born, the boys' mother died.  It was an accident of the most incredibly fluky nature, and I hope that readers will understand that I not only don't want to go into the details on this blog because it still hurts but because it's something could be used to uncover the kids' full names, rather than just the nicknames I use here.  This year, Thanksgiving came late enough as to be uncomfortably close to the anniversary.

So that's why our holiday celebrations at home are kind of unconventional; we made a habit of forgoing the traditional turkey dinner to have a birthday party, with a fancy cake and Kutter's favorite foods (which has progressed from chicken nuggets to pizza to last year's Ethiopian), maybe going to the movies while everyone else is gathered for dinner, so that he doesn't feel overshadowed by everything else.  As the kids grow up and their classmates don't really have birthday parties anymore, it's starting to seem unusual, but we don't have much in the way of extended family to complain, and it was probably going to evolve into something else when Kutter went to college.

This year, we had been girding ourselves for scattering to visit the girls' families for Thanksgiving, but that never came to pass - being able to work holidays was a condition when I took my job at the bookstore, Monica's family is on the West Coast and chosen to expect her at Christmas rather than Thanksgiving ever since she started college, and Kutter just doesn't hear much from Katey's folks at all.  I half-joked with them about not getting into any trouble during the long weekend while I was at the bookstore, finally putting in as many hours as they did.  Enjoy the Macy's Parade or something.

Which they did.  And then they came home and started on Thanksgiving Dinner.

Obviously, they weren't going to surprise me with this - it's not like either could fit a turkey into the dorm fridges in their bedrooms and I do most of the cooking, so I know the contents of what's in the kitchen refrigerator better than they do - but I was surprised nevertheless.  After their troubles just making some burgers, I'd kind of figured on them giving up for a bit, but instead Kutter did what Kutter does, looking stuff up and plotting the whole day out, with separate responsibilities for herself and Rusty, a chart that showed what would be using the oven and the stove's two large burners when, and notes on what stores would be open should they need to quickly grab a pie or cranberry sauce or the like should they mess up.

But they didn't mess up.  I got home at 12:15am, still a bit buzzed from one of Rusty's energy drinks at 6:30 or so (they actually do taste all right once you get used to them, though they would probably have dangerous amounts of caffeine even if I were my proper size, and I am not my proper size as Emilia), and saw the table set with three places, the turkey carved, a boat of gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing, rolls, cranberry sauce, some green beans, and a bottle of wine.  Rusty was just taking a pumpkin pie out of the oven, setting it on the counter to cool, but gesturing her hands to the table.  "Ta-da!  Thanksgiving dinner!"  Then she pointed at Kutter.  "My girl could manage a restaurant."

Kutter laughed.  "I mean, we're mostly talking about sticking things in the oven and watching them."

Rusty shook her head.  "Do not believe her.  You know Kutter is an anal freak at the best of times, and she had alarms going off all over the apartment to make sure she basted regularly."

"Dude, please, do not call me an anal freak while we're like this.  How many times do I have to ask?"

I tried not to snicker as we sat down at the table.  It's more or less square so it doesn't really have a head, but they sat on opposite sides so I was between them, and both looked in my direction.  I took a breath and let it out.

"Okay, we haven't done this in ten years or so and we didn't really say grace then, so I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say here.  It feels kind of silly for you to be looking to me for any words of wisdom right now, since you're the ones who have mostly been paying the rent and keeping things going, right down to cooking this meal.  But, then, I guess that's what I'm thankful for - that the two of you could rise to the occasion when I couldn't do everything a father should.  I'm thankful that for all the dangers a young woman can face in the city - which I must admit to having been too dismissive of in the past - we have so far avoided most of them.  I'm thankful that the family living our lives have more or less kept them in good order, and haven't made any noises about keeping them."  The girls laughed, and somehow the pause gave me a moment to get a little more choked up.  "But most of all, I'm thankful that, if this had to happen to any us, it happened in a way that we were able to stay together.  Because, guys, I don't think I could have done this if I had to worry about you two being off with some strangers."

Rusty and Kutter nodded their heads.  "Yeah."  "I don't think I could have done it without you two either."  Rusty tried to give a little half smile and lifted his glass, and we clinked them together before taking a sip and digging into our meal.  Which...  I mean, the girls did a good job, but it was mostly turkey and mashed potatoes and white rolls - the cranberry and gravy was doing a lot of the work.

So that's how my sons and I had our first proper Thanksgiving in a decade at one in the morning in a small Brooklyn apartment, as three young women who aren't genetically related to each other at all, and have been eating leftovers ever since.

-Aidan/Emilia

Aidan/Emilia: "I would have bet on your sister"

I don't know that it would surprise anyone that I used to be more of a reader than I am now, or that I might have had vague ideas of being a writer as a teenager; just like Ande points out that those of us who turned from men to women have a lot more to post about than those who went the other way, I don't think you can keep posting on this blog or even following it unless you, on some level, enjoy reading and writing.  My life eventually went in another direction - before the Inn, I was a regional manager for a chain of automobile service centers - but it's been good to get back in the habit of reading so that I don't sound completely ignorant at work.

Even if most of it is chick-lit.

Like everything these days, there's a bunch of social media around reading, from following favorite authors to logging what you're reading or have finished (I am told Storygraph is good but Goodreads is bad), and, apparently, a thriving TikTok community.  Now, if I don't get social media that involves text, I really don't get TikTok and Reels and the like, but folks show it to me, of only so they can find out where to find a particular book.  Yesterday, though, I got a surprise:  Instead of someone doing a book review, or was a imprint's official account - with Kutter (or "Katey") enthusiastically talking about a book that had just been released in paperback! 

I made sure to check back later, and to my surprise, Katey had sort of become the face of the division on that app over the last month or so.  They had something up daily, and though Kutter wasn't in all of them, she was in a lot, talking about books, interviewing authors and editors, sometimes shooting out the window when something interesting happened on the street, sometimes showing off books in store windows.

(Yes, "she"; I gave Rusty and awkward "that's my girl!" after trivia and she decided she was doing that once Rusty explained.)

What was really surprising, though, is that the links at the end led to Katey's personal TikTok, and it's been active over the past couple weeks, after previously having its last entries showing her, Monica, and Emilia having fun in Old Orchard.  I've admittedly avoided adding to or even looking at Emilia's social media; it's a strange sort of uncanny about seeing her seem completely at ease in this skin, especially if she's lying on the beach in a bikini or doing some sort of supercut of her trying on various outfits for an evening out, as I find myself both wondering what she was hiding to put it all behind her or perversely wishing she wasn't making me look slutty.  I probably shouldn't worry about that too much, because while I can see where Katey becomes Kutter after the two month break, I can't imagine anyone who hasn't been to the Inn would make anything of it.

It's kind of a fun little channel - "Katey" exploring New York, heavy on the food and touristy stuff, responding to dance challenges and cracking herself up at her klutziness, that sort of thing.  If it were the real Katey, I might be inclined to dismiss it, but knowing it's Kutter, it's more interesting.  I kind of wonder how I'll think of Kutter using whatever social media young adults use in the early 2030s to document his life after college.

For all that Katey in the publisher channel seems sure of herself, though, Kutter was kind of mortified when I mentioned that I'd seen them.  "Like, the work one just sort of started out as part of the job, keeping a schedule of when people are around to film them and making the calls, and I just kept up winding up on camera because Lettie was busy on a call or Ms. Grayson didn't feel like it or something, and, I don't know, somehow it became part of my job."  She blushed a little.  "I kind of think it's part of how I got the job and you didn't?  Like, when they asked you about social media, did you even mention that Emilia had Insta or Tiktok accounts and mostly used Facebook for keeping in touch with parents and scheduling stuff?"

I chuckled.  "No, I think i mostly wanted to give the impression that I wouldn't be distracted at work."

Kutter nodded.  "Yeah, I can see you doing that.  Anyway, it was part of the job, and I turned out to be okay with in, enough that Lettie wondered why I wasn't updating my own, so I started doing that.  At first I was thinking 'what would original-Katey post?', but since it looks like they're never getting back in touch with us, I stopped worrying about that and tried to be myself more."  She shrugged.  "It's actually kind of a good way to figure out who I am as Katey, I guess?  Like, I sometimes get nervous one-on-one, but just being Katey for..."  She made a motion toward the window with her hand.  "... there's no pressure and it's good practice."

"Huh.  I must say, I'm kind of surprised it's you doing this.  I would have bet on your brother.  Uh, sister.  Housemate?  Rusty.  I would have bet on Rusty doing this first!"

"I know, right?"  Every once in a while, both of them will get excited and gush like teenage girls.  "I mean, she's given me a lot of good advice about not being nervous and how I look or come across - sometime's she's even holding the phone, coaching me - but she says she doesn't need guys being pervs in the comments and doesn't want to do something the next Monica will have to deal with.  It's weird, really - there are a lot of people who don't say much in real life but open up online, but Rusty's the opposite.  Sometimes I think she's got a crush on herself and doesn't want to share."

I laughed.  "Maybe.  Well, as long as you're not connecting with strange men or anything."

"Come on, you really think I'm going to get myself into something like that or leave the next Katey stuck in that sort of situation?"

I shrugged.  "That would be unlike you, but maybe not unlike Katey.  I'll just tell you the same thing as when you and Rusty got social media on your phones - be careful what you put out there, and be really careful about what you engage with.  Folks get in trouble, especially girls your real age."

She made a face, and I dropped it.  I suppose I'll have to have a similar chat with Rusty sometime, and really watch the comments to make sure neither of them are getting into trouble.

-Aidan/Emilia