Todd/Anne-Marie: Cocktails anyone?

It's been an extremely busy holiday season. I'm sure you're all dying to know how pleased I was that Hayley and Conner loved the CD's and video games Anne-Marie and I picked out for them, but, well, it's not all that interesting. Stressful, but not interesting. The worst part was having to feign interest in the variety of perfumes, pyjamas, linens and garments I had to unwrap. It was not a Merry Christmas for this guy.

As you might imagine, I don't care much for family gatherings in this body. I find that a lot of the in-laws on Hal's side, particularly Trudy, still judge her pretty harshly for whatever reason, so they've been taking it out on me. "Julia" wasn't there this time, but Bryan was. It was weird, even perversely amusing to see Bry get all thankful for Ellie's gifts, which were mostly clothes and accessories, and of course, cash. I mainly kept to myself and drank wine all day until it was time to go home.

The Sunday after Christmas, Hal had an office/client holiday party at our place, so I had to prepare hors d'ouerves and serve drinks most of the night. It was a pretty dull affair. Bry was there, but had to hang out with the kids in the basement eating party mix and drinking Pepsi (I did sneak her some booze every now and again, because it's the holidays and she's been good.) Since she's a receptionist, Julia was also there providing moral support to me, even as Hal repeatedly came up and politely reminded her she was a guest and didn't have to do anything. She just smiled her pretty little 23-year-old smile and said it was her pleasure.

I had some important matters to ask her about anyway, and as soon as we were alone, we started talking. And no, it wasn't "Are you sleeping with Hal?" because I'm still putting that one off. No, this was slightly more about me.

I told her I had had a cold a few weeks ago but got over it, but now I was starting to feel... groggy, I guess. Foggy-headed. I wasn't getting much sleep, getting up in the middle of the night and feeling tense. Certain biological parts were feeling... abnormal. And it wasn't a cycle thing either, at least not as far as I could tell. But something felt really off.

She got this wicked but modest smirk, her face blushed red, and her eyes darted around the room. "Jeez Todd... you'd think you would notice it sooner." I just stared and asked her what exactly was going on. She gave a quick laugh and looked me in the eyes saying, and this is a direct quote, "Well, the thing about that is... women have needs too."

It takes a moment to wash over me. I lean back against the kitchen counter, bracing myself. "You're joking with me, right?" She just shakes her head. "I'm 33 years old. My body... or your body... our... that body is at its peak. Hal and I have been married for a long time, and sure we're not at the same place we were when we were first married, but... we never went that long without being together. You mean you two haven't--"

"No!" I whisper-scream, "Are you kidding me? That's the last thing I want."

"I guess it's not surprising he hasn't even asked..." she smiled to herself, "I used to turn him down so often it got to where I'd always have to initiate it."

"Can't I just... take care of this myself?" I asked. Not that I haven't before, but this feeling has been driving me crazy.

Again she gives a quick laugh, "Honey, I'm a married woman. I haven't done that in years. And it's just not as much fun. But you're the one in the body, so you're free to give it a shot... I guess."

I began to feel really sick. I dropped the subject all together and got on with my night feeling just off. In the family room, there was Donna, trying to work the HD TV, but the picture was all stretched out. I snatched the remote away from her and quickly fixed it. Her husband was just trying to check the score on the Pats-Bills game.

I handed her the remote back and she just looked at me, "I had no idea you were so good with electronics, Anne-Marie."

I just sighed. "One of my many secrets."

I sleepwalked through the rest of the evening and went to bed early. When Hal came up, he asked if I was still awake. I rolled over and said yeah.

"I've been thinking. I know we haven't talked about it in a while, but if you still want me to... I think I'm ready to go through with it."

I wince. "Go through with what?"

"With the surgery. I'll do it."

I'm confused and tired, "What surgery? What are you talking about?"

"The... vasectomy."

I roll back over the other direction. "We'll talk about this later."

It had been a long, stressful day. Quite frankly, the last thing I wanted to discuss was Hal's penis. And needless to say, I did not sleep well... again.

I'd go take a cold shower, but being naked isn't a lot of fun right now.

-Todd