Thursday, May 28, 2009

Todd/Anne-Marie: Panic attack

Sorry about the delay. I was only at the hospital a short while, and then I got caught up with Anne-Marie stuff the last couple days I forgot to update you guys. Reading the message back, it must've seemed quite alarming... at the time I felt very urgent about it, and didn't know the details.

When we got there, the McClays were already there. They brought us up to speed, saying "Ellie" had collapsed in her room, unconscious, but was awake now. Apparently, she'd suffered a panic attack. She was asking for me, but Trudy didn't want to let me go in there alone. She didn't understand why I should go talk to her, and I guess there was no way for me to properly explain it. So I let her come in.

I sat down next to her, that weak-looking, bleary-eyed girl who hardly resembles the man who'd been my friend a year ago. She weakly smiled a wide, bright grin. Trudy hovered nearby.

"What happened?" I asked.

She told me she could hardly explain it... she was in her room doing homework, and her mind started to wander... she could barely describe exactly what she was thinking about, but it seemed to trigger this attack. She started to hyperventilate, feel dizzy, then... blackout. I've known Bry a long time and he's been able to deal with a lot in his life, so this is just so bizarre, to see him put down by homework.

So I asked "Is it about the trip? Are you feeling nervous?" Trudy flashes a disapproving glare.

She leans into me and mutters, "It's complicated." She has yet to explain exactly how, but I've told her she should check in on the blog when she feels ready.

She's out of the hospital now. They're thinking of getting her on anti-anxiety meds to prevent further episodes.

I'm just shocked, you know? Bry's a pretty resilient guy. He was like a rock to me, really stable. I'm feeling a little guilty I haven't been there for him as much as he was for me, back in the day. There's obviously a lot going on.

So there it is.


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