So at the start of my last post I basically described the new, laid back, introverted lifestyle of the New Priya Patel. Its basically a lot like my life was when I was a bachelor, which i barely remembered since it was so long ago. Amber and I started dating in college, when we were 19, which means that the last and only time i was truly a bachelor was between 18 and 19, My freshman year. Like many college freshmen, the effects of eating like a pig and drinking and laying around all day caused me to gain the traditional "freshman 15" pounds. This effect has repeated itself, although its much more apparent in Priya's body.
I didnt notice it at first, since I mostly wear loose fitting dresses to work and sweatpants around the house. But last Friday was ASES's (Adlai Stevenson Elementary School) annual "western day" in which the kids and teachers dress up like cowboys and cowgirls and the normal dress code (yes, some elementary schoool kids have dress codes now) rules are relaxed. This all sounded silly but the kids get a kick out of it and all the teachers are expected to do it. Fortuneatly this wasnt Priya's first rodeo (pun intended) and she had a cowgirl outfit in the closet.
The outfit consists of a Pink denim shirt with fringes on it, an oversized belt buckle, some tight faded blue jeans, and a cowboy hat. I went to try it on the night before only to discover that the jeans wouldnt button. They wouldnt even zip up due to the now noticeable pudge on my belly and tightness in the butt area. At first I thought it was just an old pair of jeans but then I tried on more of her pairs and got similar results. This led me to the bathroom scale and a readout of 132lbs. Not knowing if this were good or bad, I called the real Priya in New Jersey.
She answered and I asked innocently "Umm..Priya..how much should you weigh?"
"120" she replied. "Why, how much DO i weigh?"
"132" I mumbled.
This caused her to blow a fuse. "132? Greg you lazy bastard what the hell have you been doing to my body? You gained 12 pounds in one month? What are you eating?"
I finally calmed her down by explaining I wasnt familiar with her body's metabolism and that I would have it back to normal weight by the time she got it back next May.
Looking back I can understand her anger. 12 pounds isnt much to guys, but for a girl Priya's size, its 10% of your body weight. Not to mention at the rate I was going shed weigh 228 pounds but the time we changed back.
So Saturday I went to the gym. (Western day was fun, btw. I improvised with a jean skirt) Priya had a gym membership that she used about once a week so I put on her workout clothes (which were a little too tight for my liking) and walked there.
I hadnt been to the gym in a long time in my past life but soon found out that its a pretty different experience for a girl. I looked at the lifting machines and freeweights i used to use and decided that those would be a bit TOO difficult and resigned myself to some cardio.
Another thing thats different is that apparently Priya's gym is full of young people and its apparently a great place to meet people to date. This was not something I was interested in but someone forgot to tell all the guys that kept checking me out and flirting with me. I was just trying to work on the exercise bike but that didnt prevent the mundane small talk, lame compliments, and not too causual requests for my number. I finished my workout sweaty and exhausted and retreated to the girls locker room.
The girls locker room is something that all guys fantasize about seeing in junior high and now that ive actually seen one Ill tell you it wasnt that impressive. Especially since some of the girls in it are not the type youd want to see naked.
As I was showering I looked around and realized that all these naked women did nothing for me. I was able to appreciate and evaluate their beauty, but i felt no physical arousal at all. Which apparently means that with Priya's body comes Priya's sexuality. Which means Im now "into guys" whether I like it or not. I dunno, its not something Im happy about but from what I read Im not gonna be able to fight it. That doesnt mean im gonna slut it up in Priyas body, and it probably means Im gonna avoid the gym from now on which means Im gonna need a new form of exercise.
Ill keep ya posted (This is like the 5th time ive ended a post with this. It was unintentional but pretty punny when you think about it, so im gonna keep it)