Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Greg/Priya: Talking to myself

So maybe last week I made a big deal about how much weight ive gained, and thats mostly a result of the real Priya making a big deal about it, but when you think about it, 12 pounds in 8 months is less than 2 pounds a month, so really all I have to do is stop eating like a guy, stop drinking beer (or switch to light beer), and find a regular form of mild exercise. But since my little trip to the gym I was still annoyed at being checked out, still not turned on by girls in the locker room, and still in need of a new way to exercise.

As Greg I didnt formally work out, I just rode my bike 3 days a week in the Park. I saw no reason as to why I couldnt do this as Priya and Sunday afternoon I put on a pair of dance pants and a tshirt and decided to go biking. The only bike.

I called the real Priya in New Jersey and confirmed that not only did she have a bike, but Ive seen it before. Its in my apartment. That is, my REAL apartment. Greg and Amber's apartment. Apparently Priya lent it to Amber a LONG time ago because Amber was gonna take up riding. It turns out she never did and the bike just stayed in the closet all the time. Its something I saw every day and just never really noticed or cared about.

Amber laughed at the absurdity of the situation when I called her and told her I needed it, and told me to come over and get it anytime. So I took the L over to my old place and knocked on the door.

Dee answered, and was apparently home alone since Amber was at work when I called her.

"Its you" she said "Come on in"

Its was even weirder being around Dee alone, because when we were out with friends or something, It was like I was in a play and I was playing the part of Priya. With no one else around, I was free to be Greg. She knew who I was, and I was the original owner of her current life.

The first thing I noticed was that the apartment was spotless. Cleaner than I had ever seen it since Amber and I were both messy people. When I commented on this she rolled her eyes and says "I dont know how you stand living with such a slob".

We talked about work and stuff. Apparently they had had dinner at my parents' house recently and she had no time to prepare but managed to bluff her way through it. She was also weirded out to call people that young "mom and dad". (young to her,considering her real parents are probably a lot older).

She had survived and inspection from corporate at work. There were a few items that werent up to speed but they werent damning and easily rectified so that nobody got in trouble. Apparently Dee is developing a knack for hospitality management with a lot of help from my assistant, Heather.

Its weird talking to your old body because you keep thinking your looking in the mirror and when the words and actions dont sync up your brain short circuits and you have to keep reminding yourself of the situation.

After catching up with my old life, I took the bike and left my real home for my perceived home. I had originally planned on riding the bike home, but realized that I had no helmet and Priyas was at her apartment and I wasnt about to risk ending up like Darren and getting in an accident in someone elses body.

So I took the bike on the train, even though its annoying to all the other passengers and I didnt want to be "that guy" (altho I guess there isnt any situation now in which i could truly be "that guy").

After I got the bike home there was enough daylight for me to go for a quick ride, that is until I realized that 5+years in your best friends closet isnt exactly the best bicycle maintenance, so I had to give it a quick tune up, and Priya didnt have ANY tools. Seriously, No tools. Youd think a single woman living by herself in a big city in the 21st century would and some point have the need to fix something and would require some tools. Alas, this was not the case and I went up and down the floor knocking on neighbors doors.

The guys across the hall answered and said that I could borrow their bike tuning kits (they were both avid cyclists) and that I could come on in. While the one was in the other room the other one started making small talk and asking how I was and all that when I realized that I should know these guys. And I didnt. Fortunately, I am now an expert at bluffing my way through life and was able to discern their names when the one in the other room called out to "Phil" and when i read "Mike's" name on the tool box he handed me. They asked if I needed any help and looked unconvinced that I could work on my bike myself, but left me to my devices anyway.

These guys must be pretty friendly with Priya, as they didnt come off in a "I want to get into your pants" kinda way that a lot of guys who dont know me do. They were more like friendly "lets have a beer" kinda dudes. Which is exactly what I did when I got back from my ride. We watched the Bears game and drank beer. I had Miller Light. Just 64 calories.

I like these guys. I think ill look them up when I get my life back.

Ill keep ya posted



Anonymous said...

So we have two dudes living together not interested in the reasonably attractive female neighbor who pays them a visit for tools(aka the cup of sugar) and then hangs out with them. I have to bet they're gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. :)

Greg/Priya said...

Yeah, I dont think theyre gay. I dont know what the history is but im gonna try to find out.

And who said I was reasonably attractive? I could be super ugly and youd never know. Youve never seen a pic. (and wont see one)

Anonymous said...

I can think of two plausible explanations right off the bat:

1) they both have girlfriends (who just happened to not be around at the time -- perhaps working, or other commitments) and that's why they're not interested in Priya,


2) they've both asked Priya out at some point in the past and been politely turned down, but as a result of being neighbors they've become "just friends" with Priya.

Realistically, no one can draw any conclusions based on this brief episode.

Anonymous said...

Its logical to think you're reasonably attractive for a couple reasons. If you weren't then you'd have probably been either complaining about it or thanking fate that you are so horribly ugly no guys would be interested in you until you could get back to your life.

Also, you made a big deal about how men were checking you out at the gym even though you've put on a few pounds. Hence, you are reasonably attractive. I didn't make the leap to saying you were stunningly so. No, I'm not asking for a pic.