Hurray for me! I'm getting my sense of humor back.
This weekend has been quiet, unusually so. This is mostly because the parents have gone away, leaving me in charge of the house (gee thanks.) Friday night after work I went out to the bar with "the gang:" Thom & Sara, Raine, Cyndi from work, and her boyfriend. It wasn't awkward, and indeed was rather uneventful; we avoided the "fifth and sixth wheel" rut Raine and I got into last time I wrote about it and actually had a nice night. Uneventful.
Saturday, as you must know, was Halloween. I made dinner for Mae and myself. Cooking was something I actually enjoyed for years, since I've been on my own for a while, I started learning to cook since before I left college. Not that I could work in a restaurant or anything, I'm no iron chef. I just know how to cook a decent variety of small meals. You know, like if I ever had a date....... but let's not worry about that now that I am Tori. I will state however that I never thought cooking was a "feminine" trait. My dad was a good cook too, it's important.
Sadly, we didn't have much in the house for me to work with, so I just made spaghetti and meat sauce, which used a somewhat special recipe. And garlic bread. We sat down to eat quietly... Mae and I always have these long awkward silences when it's just the two of us, obviously sibling hostility left over from when Tori was herself. I mean, I'd resent it if I was still at home and my older brother came back and sponged off my parents. I can relate, but I can't make her understand that. So I just have to accept things as they are; there's always going to be some discomfort between us.
Point to ponder: It's one thing to become "a girl." It's another thing to become a different person. It's been said before but this is one of those times that underlined it.
Anyway, not much was said for a while until she broke the ice by remarking how good the food tasted. I played it down, saying it wasn't anything much, but she pressed it, "No, seriously, since when can you cook?"
"It's nothing special, really. Anyone could do this. It's just following directions."
She half-joked "Since when can you follow directions?" I smirked, snorted a quick laugh, and kept eating with no comment. She looked at me and asked, "Are you wearing my shirt?"
I was wearing one of those American Eagle plaid overshirts I bought when I was in Louisville. Mae has a number of similar clothes. I explained this.
"Right," she said, slurping her spaghetti, "When you were visiting your mysterious 'friends' out in Kentucky."
"That's right. Why, what do you think I was doing?"
"I have no idea," she joked, "And frankly, I don't wanna know. I'm just saying, you're copying my style. You've never done that. What's going on with you?"
"I dunno," I shrugged, "People change."
She was finishing up her meal when she changed the tone to an unexpectedly honest one. "You know, I'm sorry if I've been a bitch to you since you came back," she sighed. "You've been really cool lately and I'm starting to think I'm going a bit overboard with some of the stuff I've been saying."
It was really nice to hear, although she didn't need to say it. It was easy for me to keep from taking it seriously, because I knew it wasn't about me anyway, and I have plenty of experience ragging on/being ragged on by my brother and other guys. Maybe Tori wasn't so thick-skinned about it.
"Don't worry, Mae," I said, "I mean, we're (ahem) sisters," that was me clearing my throat so as to not choke on admitting to being someone's sister, "It's what we do."
"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm starting to like the new you. Anyway, I'll probably be out late. Ed's coming to pick me up," her little boyfriend, Raine's brother. "Don't tell mom and dad, okay?"
"You got it." It was a nice moment. I felt trusted.
She left me, alone with the dog. Now, I was supposed to go out and party with Raine and Sara. We were all going to dress up as Disney Princesses. Actually, they were going as Disney princesses (Raine as Belle, Sara as Jasmine.) I got a "sexy Robin Hood" outfit despite their protests; I argued that Disney did Robin Hood too, but they said that was missing the point. Then they joked about wearing a red shirt and no pants and going as Winnie the Pooh. Anyway, I was drawn to the costume because of the, er, gender-type implications, but after trying it on, I felt a little too sexy (plus I could hardly breathe in it) so I decided not to go.
I spent the evening hanging out with the dog, handing out candy and watching movies -- Ghostbusters 1 & 2, then Gremlins 1 & 2. Of course, Gremlins 1 is more of a Christmas movie, but... anyway. Around 9, I hadn't gotten any trick-or-treaters in a while so I turned out the front lights, and as the movies played I stripped out of my costume. Yes, despite what I said about not being able to breathe, I wore the costume because I wanted to wear something and it was either that or a large men's vampire outfit buried in "dad's" closet. Don't worry, I wore a shirt underneath to avoid exposing all the little kids to my cleavage.
Anyway, being the lazy disorganized sort of the night, I neglected to even put on a new layer of clothes. I went about in my bra and panties doing laundry and other household chores. Cleaned the dishes, shaved my legs. I fell asleep on the couch around two, half-dressed cuddling with the dog, with a half a beer on the coffee table.
When Mae got in a little later, she was sure to snap a picture. Not amusing. We talked a little about her date, which is something we hadn't done before.
Back in my own life, I used to go out and party on Halloween, usually making a drunken fool of myself or striking out. I didn't mind a quieter night, but it does get lonely.