Three trips to the Trading Post Inn. That has to be some kind of record, at least for those of us who write about it. I hear rumors about people who go back every year, but I wouldn't have chosen to be one of them. I guess this is my life now whether I want it or not, no matter what I look like.
If I could choose? I don't know. Being doomed to a life of wandering really just feels like an extension of what I was already doing with myself, just with more... complications. Would I even know how to settle down? To live one life for the rest of my life?
Kitty is along for the ride, as you know. I couldn't exactly escape her... I needed to bring her back to the Inn as Greta, and she's basically in the same boat as me. Someone out there preferred to be a privileged woman in her 50's instead of whatever they started as. I don't even know if her husband is going to show up - he wound up in the body of a 13-year-old boy in a seriously screwed up family - and it's questionable if they could all get back there. I'll be curious to find out.
She's not convinced we need to do this. As far as I'm concerned it's pretty shitty that she wouldn't feel much guilt about making off with Greta's body and life, if it weren't for the fact that I'm pushing her into it. She must still like me enough to go along with my plans. We're flying out to Portland tonight.
The last few weeks have been a bit hectic. Kitty has been running very hot and cold, sometimes trying to seduce me, sometimes screaming her head off at me, sometimes freezing me out altogether, depending on what I've done recently. It doesn't help that I got into a bit of trouble at work...
I was helping Mr. Donato with a business deal the other night, and things went a bit messy. We were at a pool hall and there was, um, a "disagreement," and a right hook caught me square in the face, producing a really nasty shiner. I'm hoping it fades by the time I transform. I'd hate for Alan to face that in the mirror, and I would hate to give the impression I wasn't doing my best to take care of his body (the money makes the risk worth it - I may not be Tyler anymore but I still feel like I can take a punch now and again!) But really it looks worse than it is, even if Kitty doesn't believe me. She was right pissed off that I got so banged up on the job and demanded I quit. I did, but not because she told me to. We were close to the end of my time as Alan and I made a good buck.
Maybe the Inn's magic will split Kitty and I up, but given we're sharing a room it seems more likely that we'll be stuck with each other for a while. At this point, I don't really have a plan, it's hard to tell. I want to be away from this person. But I want a lot of things I can't have...
I want to be myself. And looking in the mirror at Alan's face, he was about as close as I could hope to be. And I'm just giving it up, giving it back, because I'm not a shitty person. This face could look like anybody soon. And it could come with any number of problems. But there's no going back now.
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