Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Ethan: Proper Introduction

So I apologize to any readers/fellow victims who read Brittany’s posts and thought she might be a terrible person for not not minding her new body, but also mocking me for mine. While I’m not happy about the situation it helps to provide some context of how we know each other.

Brittany might be my oldest friend. We grew up down the street from each other in Maryland and while we weren’t best friends as kids, we wound up at the same college and in the same major so we hung out a lot. After we graduated we both decided to try our hand at filmmaking. We’ve got a few videos up on youtube, some with a couple hundred thousand hits. Nothing breakthrough yet but enough to pay the rent.

And we’re strictly platonic. Relationship timing was never there and after a few years we friendzoned each other and at this point she’s like a sister to me. Except right now she’s literally like a brother to me.

According to the extensive notes I found on the laptop with the leftover luggage, I’m now in the body of 14 year old Madison Randle from Virginia. My new age is the reason I’m not going to go into graphic details of how my body changed or the vast differences between my new body and my old one. I especially won’t give a detailed account of the differences between being a man and a girl like Brittany did. The gist of it is 1.: Yes it feels very different and alien and 2. I Do not like it one bit and don’t find it funny at all even though Brittany seems to think it’s some sort of cosmic justice about male privilege or something. Which she’s about to find out a lot more about.

Brittany is now Madison’s 18 year old Jacob or “Jake”. Apparently she’s a about to be a freshman and he’s about to be a senior in high school and they were touring New England visiting colleges that he was considering. No parents, just the two of them. Which was weird, but not even close to the weirdest thing I’ve seen this week.

It was actually a grown woman crying like a baby in the hallway that brought us out there after about 15 minutes of Brittany and I trying to decide of the other one was just pulling a prank on the other. Eventually someone who knew what was going on told us all to go back into the rooms, find the luggage, and find the letters.

Madison left a pair of glasses on top of her note, which made things a lot easier. Waking up with significantly worse vision is almost as scary as waking up a teenage girl. The contents of the note were surprising, since I’d expect someone this young to be shocked and almost damaged by an event like this. However Madison (Don’t call her Maddie, the note was very clear about that) seemed super excited that magic was real and that she got to experience. The letter contained details about her life, which is pretty much go to school, hang out with friends. I think she might be a bit of a dork, since her backpack looks like a Tardis from Dr. Who and her suitcase was full of superhero and anime tshirts. Although I was quite thankful for the Captain America Tshirt and jeans that fit so much better than the pair of boxers I’d been holding up with one hand the whole time.

According to Brittany’s note, Jake is much less enthused about leaving his life and was almost aggressive in tone. It included a long list of exercises that he expected her to do every morning which, if I know Brittany, isn’t likely to happen.

What is likely to happen is a couple of teenagers having worried parents in Virginia, which is where we’re going later today. Apparently the college tour was a road trip so Jake’s car was in the parking lot. Or at least their parents car because it was a fairly new SUV. Either way we’ve got a long trip ahead of us, and I’m not allowed to drive on it.

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