Shane is not a computer person. He isn't stupid, he just doesn't care about computers, so he never uses them and so doesn't understand how useful they can be. He was the last person I know to start using email around 10 years ago - reluctantly, when he needed it for his business, and only in the last few years started using messaging apps. Aside from that, he never uses computers. He bought his first smart phone during the covid lockdown, but he still only really uses it for making phone calls. He is the only person that I still have to phone, if I want to contact him.
I'm also fairly certain that he never watched the video that Sylvia made for him. It's almost inconceivable that she wouldn't mention that Chris was originally a woman and had a sex change. I wasn't going to call him out on it though. I still haven't told him about not having a penis. I don't know when or how I'm going to tell him, and I wished I had told him at the start, because the longer it takes, the harder it seems to be to say something. If I tell him now, he's not going to be happy that I kept this from him.
I mentioned that Shane was going to try to embrace his femininity in my last post, and that includes learning to do make-up and hair. He tried to do it himself, from photos, which was spectacularly unsuccessful. The next day, he went out by himself in the morning. He came home several hours later. His face had been expertly made up and his hair looked great. He also had longer, red nails, and even though he was still wearing just a t-shirt and jeans, he looked beautiful.
I asked him where he'd been, and he told me he went to a department store and asked them to help him in the make up department, and then he went to a hairdresser, who styled his hair. Finally, he'd also gotten a manicure. He had a bag with him and pulled out 5 or 6 fashion magazines and dropped them on the coffee table and proclaimed: "I'm going to try to get this right."
He wanted to go out again, this time for dinner, because in his words "it would be a waste if I didn't go out looking like this", so he went to his room and put on a red dress. This one was a little more daring, in that it showed a little cleavage and a little more leg. He looked good before, but now he was really hot. I put on a nice shirt and trousers, and we went out for dinner at a somewhat fancy Italian restaurant.
I can't deny that it felt great to have someone looking that good accompanying me. He's slowly becoming more feminine in his actions, and definitely looking less unsure of himself. The fidgeting and uncomfortable shifting has mostly stopped and it's sometimes hard to think of the woman in front of me as being the person that I grew up with and go fishing with. When we got home and I went to the bathroom before going to bed, my pussy was actually a little wet. I don't want to think about what that means.
I haven't really talked much about my pussy. I don't like to look at it or touch it, but whenever I'm in the shower and particularly when I have to sit on the toilet to pee, I can't ignore it. I have had a closer look out of curiosity, and it looks quite normal - for a woman, except that my clitoris is bigger than any I've seen on a woman before. I've googled about all sorts of trans related stuff recently to find out more, and it seems that testosterone makes the clitoris grow. It almost looks like a small penis, and it feels a bit like it when I touch it. But of course, it's not the same. I can't urinate through it, it's still a lot smaller than a penis, and there's an opening I never had before, right under it. The whole area looks and feels wrong. It's hard to explain, but it feels like it shouldn't be a part of me, and I think about that almost all the time.
Chris has these prosthetics that I found. I wasn't sure what they were at first, but you stick them into your underpants and it makes it look like you have a package down there. I've been using them, because they make me feel more confident somehow. I've asked Shane about how he feels about his pussy, and whether he misses his penis. He shrugged and told me that he wants it back, but he's not missing it as much as he thought he would.
Of course, he has tits as well. They look like a fairly average size. When I asked about them, he said that he often even forgets that they're there. I'm glad Chris had his removed, because I don't think I could have coped with them, and I certainly can't imagine I would forget that they're there. I saw some old photos on his phone from before he had them removed and they were larger than Shane's. I've also made sure to keep up the testosterone. I've injected myself a few times now. I'm not used to doing it, and I don't like needles, but it's better than having periods.
The next day, Shane was in his room all morning. Every once in a while I heard loud cussing coming from the room. Eventually he came out, with clownish make-up on his face. His hair looked all messed up too. "What's the matter?", I asked. "How fucking hard can it be to put on make-up and curl hair? The women yesterday showed me what she was doing and I'm trying to recreate it, but it isn't working. I tried the curling iron and the more I use it, the worse it looks." I couldn't help but laugh "Did you know anything about make-up and hair when you walked in there yesterday?" "Of course I didn't" he grunted. "That's why I went". I told him "Every other woman that goes in there has at least some basic knowledge. You can't expect to learn it all like that in one go." "Well I can't go there every day until I learn it properly", he said. "Have you checked out YouTube?" I asked. "There are tutorials on everything there. I'm sure you can learn from there."
He obviously hadn't checked it out, so I showed him how to use it, and how to search for relevant videos. He went back to his room to watch them and tried again. I only got called in twice when he had problems. The first time, he accidentally closed the browser window, and the second time he pressed the mute button. Yes....he really is that bad with computers.
When he came out after a couple of hours, he looked a lot better. His hair was in place, and he had cut down on the amount of make-up he had tried. It wasn't perfect, but definitely acceptable.
Tomorrow, the cafe opens again. I'm nervous about it, but it hasn't been all make-up and fashion at home. We've also tried to prepare for this as well as we can. We've learnt the processes and ordered from the suppliers and we're as ready as we ever will be.
Let's see how things go.
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