We still had a few days left on our reservations but Kim had had just about enough of the Trading Post and insisted we needed to hit the road back to their home. A combination of fear and guilt from accidentally being in her body had me inclined to go along with pretty much anything she says.
One thing I toyed with was the idea of not writing a letter, since I'd end up back as myself. However seeing the chaos that came upon someone as visibly organized as Kim I figured just in case. I wrote 2 letters.
The first letter was the just-in-case customary "Here's what to do if you get my life" letter that all visitors leave to the next occupant (Which Kim never left for me, thinking she'd get her body back). The second letter was actually an email, to my Mom back in Virginia. It basically lied and said that Acadia was so hard up for help that they offered me an extended winter live in position that required I start immediately and probably wouldn't make it home for the holidays. I teared up a bit writing it. I actually don't think I've cried since like junior high over something like that. I know I'll see my family again, but it is still pretty terrifying.
Once the letters were done and my luggage was packed I grabbed the suitcases that belonged to Kim from their room and started rolling them out to where she and Maya were waiting by their SUV, talking. I couldn't hear what they were saying but it was a lot of Kim looking up at Maya and saying a lot while Maya just nodded along.
When I got nearer Maya offered to lift the luggage into the back. I think she was just looking to show off how strong she was as Brent, the guy she was now. Maya has actually been the most stable person I've seen in all the chaos that is this place. Her mother was angry about missing out on getting her life back. I'm terrified being the one to get it. Maya on the other hand seems pretty aloof and open minded. Maybe having spent a year as someone else once makes the second time easier, even if it is as a member of the opposite sex (which is VERY off putting, in my opinion). I think she's just content to do her best and come back next year.
"I'll do the driving" Kim said "Go ahead and get in the passenger seat I'll be there in a minute"
She's very direct and normally I dont like being ordered around, but I find myself doing whatever she says. Maybe it's guilt from winding up in her body, or maybe I trust her because she knows about this crazy cursed hotel. Either way being led makes adapting to all this better.
As I sat in the car and buckled in trying not to think about the seatbelt splitting my new boobs, I looked back and saw Kim and Maya talking again, now holding hands. Kim had tears in her eyes saying goodbye and they hugged before she climbed in and started the car.
"Do you need a minute?" I asked
"I need all of this to be over" She said with a sigh before putting the car in gear.
The Scotts live in Irondeqouit, New York, which is a suburb of Rochester near Lake Ontario. It's about a 7 hour drive through a part of the country which is just beautiful in the autumn. As someone with a forestry degree I've always appreciated nature and looking out the window was helpful in taking my mind off of everything.
I did also try to engage Kim more in hopes of getting to know the person whose face I was wearing better, but most of them were met with short frustrated answers.
"So like, what's your job?" I asked when it dawned on me I'd have to be Kim to the rest of the world
"MY job is a lecturer at a University" She said annoyed "But since the numbskull who was in my body the past year knew nothing about math I'm on sabbatical until it looks like another year. YOUR job is going to be part time at Target because that's all she could land"
I laughed out loud at that.
"What?" She demanded
"I worked at Target for my last 2 years of college." I said shaking my head "It's come full circle"
After about three and a half hours of mostly silence we stopped for gas. She reached in the back and handed me a purse "They don't have to pay at the pump so you're going to have to do it, use the Discover card"
I swallowed and took a deep breath. This was it. I had to pretend to be someone else for the first time. We got out of the car and the same hip pain I had woken up with had returned with a vengeance with every step I made. Kim took notice.
"Yeah I've got bad cartilage there, it's going to hurt like hell if you sit wrong for a period of time. Keep your legs level and feet on the floor the rest of the way"
I took notice and walked into the gas station. The lady at the counter seemed disinterested as I fumbled around in the purse and handed her a credit card that wasn't mine. She swiped it and Kim went out to pump the gas while I went to the bathroom.
I had "gone" back in Maine so the weirdness of sitting and having different organs for the first time had passed, but it was still awkward. In fact it was downright panic inducing having to do it in public. I went into the women's bathroom and my heart started racing when I saw two women in there chatting in front of the mirror about their trip. One looked at me and went back to touching up her makeup but that was enough to make me freak out. I felt like an imposter even in the stall and had my eyes closed as nature took it's course. After washing my hands for probably less time than I should have I exited and saw Kim there waiting outside. She must've sensed my nerves because her face changed from the irritated look she's had since that morning into one with compassion.
"Doing alright, Mom?" She asked putting hand on my shoulder. That was enough to make things better, to know I'm not alone
"Yeah" I said "I'm ready to hit the road again.
We drove on in silence for another 20 miles before she spoke up.
"I know it's not your fault" She began "Believe me it was weird for me when I first woke up as someone else and I stayed female and the same age. I can't imagine how weird it is to go from a young guy to....me"
"It's no so bad..." I begin, trying to diffuse the tension
"You're being nice" She says "But being 17 again made me realize how much soreness and sagging and upkeep is needed on a daily basis. Gradually coming into it over the years is one thing, you got it overnight and gender change to boot, which according to like 90 percent of that blog is a real obstacle"
It was that comment that led me to make an effort to document my time as her on this blog
"But I'll help you through it" she continued "In a way you're lucking to have me to answer any question and point out anything you need to be doing or stop doing"
She opened up for the rest of the car ride and we talked about her home life, her husband and son, her relationship with Maya, her time in Arkansas, and by the time we pulled into the driveway I felt like I'd been there before.
The house was nice. Fairly new and well maintained and pretty clean on the inside. Kim's husband, James, was some sort of VP at a company in Rochester. He and their son Jamie (James Jr.) were at Cedar point in Ohio due to the fact that Kim and Maya had taken a "girls trip" for the second year in a row. They weren't due back until tomorrow so that gave us some time to unwind after the trip.
"Follow me" Kim said heading upstairs "You need a shower"
The master bathroom was spacious with a double vanity and large rain shower with glass walls that had no privacy. Kim followed me into the bathroom and could sense my unease
"Look, it's nothing I haven't seen before thousands of times and you're going to get used to my body too. Plus there's bodywash, shampoo, conditioner, facewash, and lotion to deal with so I'm going to be arond to help"
"All that for a shower?" I wondered out loud
"You're lucking we aren't shaving today"
I undressed and turned on the hot water and the feeling of it on my skin may have been one of the most relaxing sensations I've ever felt. Like all the stress and soreness of the day was melting away in the steam.
The bathroom was set up in such a way that there were large mirrors on three walls so looking in them I could see myself naked from every angle as I washed. At first I just looked down and focused on washing but my eyes wandered eventually. Kim's body wasn't fat by any means, but curves and cellulite were going to take some getting used to.
I don't know how long I showered for but I stopped when Kim came in, hair wet from having showered in the other bathroom, holding some clean clothes. I turned off the water and began drying myself off, feeling just how heavy long hair was when it was wet. Kim was looking at me with a curious eye.
"Hold on" Kim said, her annoyed tone returning. She reached under the vanity cupboard and pulled out a scale "Step on this really quick"
The scale blinked a few times and brought up a number that made me too self conscious to share
"Goddamnit Clara" She cursed invoking the name of the woman who was in this body before me "Gained 15 pounds last year! My ass looks huge!"
"15 pounds isn't too bad" I offered
"For a man, no" She said putting the scale away "With that metabolism it isn't a months long process"
She handed me a pair of panties that admittedly felt a little tight, although compared to boxers they're extremely tight. She then handed me a tank top looking thing that I've since learned is called a "Cami" that covered things but my big nipples poked right through
"That's fine for bed" She said "The boys get home tomorrow afternoon so we have a lot to go over before we get to that"
She helped me brush my hair and left me alone in the big bedroom with my thoughts. Despite all the weirdness I was out like a light in the big comfortable bed.
That was the beginning of the week and a lot has happened since and I have a lot to juggle pretending to be a mom and wife, so I'll have to write more later
-Paul
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