So a while back I met Emily's brother Dennis who is kind of a musician, in the way that a teenage boy with a guitar is a musician. I made the mistake of showing off a bit to him, even though in this body I'm kinda terrible, and for a while he would ask if I wanted to hang out with him and jam.
Nothing ever really came with that, and anytime I'm over at Emily's to have a sleepover or whatever, if I'd see him he'd get kinda awkward. It happens. When you're a teenager there's no shortage of stuff to make you awkward, whether you've been transformed or not.
So last Friday night I was at Emily's place when she gets a text from her boyfriend Mike. They've been really off and on. She's really into him and he kinda plays it cool... which honestly isn't unlike me, but seeing it from this perspective, it seems unfair to her (especially since she gets my panties all worked up whenever she comes around, so there's I guess a bit of jealousy from me.)
ANYWAY what happened was Mike texted her and asked if she wanted to come over and do stuff. For a while it was almost like she was gonna blow him off and hang out with me, but I could tell she really wanted to go. Since I'm pretty comfortable at her place - hell, more comfortable than at Ellie's - it was okay that I stayed and finished the movie (Wall-E.)
As I was going, I ran into Dennis, who'd been in the basement. I was putting on my jacket, and he sidles up to me. "Listen I'm not a creeper or anything. It's still early, I've got some people downstairs you might want to meet."
There are times when I forget that I'm small and basically defenseless (I'm not much of a fighter, but I could get crazy against a dude like him.) So I began to trust him, but I told him that if anything went wrong I would tell Emily. He just looked at me and asked what she'd been telling me about him. I said it was hard to explain.
But whatever. As I mentally prepared myself for the worst, he led me to the basement, where he had his guitar on a stand, a bass leaning up against an old couch, and a small drum kit. Behind the drums was a girl Dennis' age, with moppish short brown hair and emo-glasses. Sitting across from them was a more conventional looking blonde girl on a cushy chair. She looked, and must've felt, somewhat out of place. Good figure, low-cut top.
He gestured to the drummer chick and then to the other, "Ellie, this is Leanne and May." May stood up and wrapped her arms around him. Girlfriend. Duh.
"Leanne and I jam together sometimes, and I thought that maybe you'd wanna join, since your night kinda got ruined by my sister leaving." He looked over at Leanne, "Ellie's pretty good at guitar for her age." He looked back at me, "Ever played bass?"
I rolled my eyes. I didn't really wanna be the cliche chick bass player.... as much as I love the Pixies, Smashing Pumpkins, and to a lesser extent Sonic Youth. Sure, I can play, but only bothered to learn as much as any guitarist who is actually good at that instrument.
Whatever. I slung the bass over my shoulder. It felt like a monster in my little arms (for those unfamiliar, bass guitars have considerably longer necks than real guitars.) We tinkered around, I didn't attempt anything tricky. It wasn't the same thrill as when I had the guitar in my hands but it was nice anyway.
Eventually May, who was probably getting tired of the scenario, looked at her watch. She noted it was getting late to Dennis and he took the guitar strap off his shoulder. Without much explanation, they hurried upstairs. "Uh, if you wanna play the guitar you can," he said leaning over the railing, "but if you break any strings you're paying."
I was going for the guitar when Leanne said "Mind if we take a break?" I said sure, but was a little disappointed I couldn't rip into some non-talkbox Frampton.
She went over to the mini-fridge and looked through it. "You drink?" She grabbed two bottles of cheap American beer.
"Sure."
She opened one and handed it to me. "Are you sure? I don't want to corrupt any little children." She smirked.
I laughed. "Believe me, I'm plenty corrupted already."
She grinned, "Oh yeah? you don't look like you've done much."
I joked, "Only to myself."
She nodded and sipped, "Good to keep in practice. So tell me... why'd you keep looking over at May?"
"Was I?"
"Dennis didn't notice 'cause he was in front of you, but I could tell. I figure there's two reasons. One is that you can't figure out why she's with him... because you want him." I shook my head. She sipped again. "The other is you couldn't help noticing her awesome chest."
My eyes darted right back over to her. She looked back at me.
"Look," she blushed, "You're really young and probably really confused, but I remember when I was your age. Figuring out what you want, why you don't see boys the way all your girlfriends do. Maybe you're not ready, maybe I'm reading you wrong."
"You're not." I told her abruptly, blurting out "I don't ever wanna touch a penis." (One that doesn't belong to me.)
She inched closer, and I closed my eyes. Oh God, the softness of her lips, the way her fingers brushed my thigh. I let myself enjoy it for just a second before something struck me and I jolted back.
"Oh, wow," I exclaimed, "That was... I mean, it was really sudden." But my mind had darted back to Ellie, to the Inn and how I would leave. I've said on this blog how I had feelings for Emily but I didn't mean to do anything about them, or anything at all. Because I know things are going to be weird for Ellie once we change back. But at the same time, the desire to feel something like that... was just overwhelming.
"Is something wrong?" she seemed sincere.
"I'm just... I'm.... maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not ready."
"It's okay," she leaned back a bit, separating the two of us further, "I'm kinda just got out of a thing, and I don't want you to think you're just a rebound. It's not, like, fair to you."
And I'm thinking: Well, in a few months, I'm going to be a whole other person, and that's not really fair to you, so I guess we're even.
"It was nice though," I said to comfort her. "And maybe sometime we can again. Just... don't tell Dennis, okay? Because then he'll tell Em, and I don't wanna deal with that."
She nodded, it seemed fair.
And then we started kissing again.
Ellie, Todd said you read this, and I'm sorry, I guess, but I couldn't help myself. A cute teenage lesbian (bi?) was coming onto me and I couldn't say no. Maybe that's how you ended up letting Todd Jones feel you up on your Aunt's couch. Let's call it even.
I mean, it's not like Leanne's gonna become my girlfriend.
Probably.
-Bry/El
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