Aidan/Emilia: Stay-at-home Mom (?)

The boys and I had another mysterious wire transfer appear in the "Emilia", "Katey", and "Monica" checking accounts, although they're about 25% less than last month, and we don't quite know what to make of that - are the girls reading the blog and seeing that the boys have jobs and thus don't need to be supported quite so much?  Are their new lives maybe not quite so flush as they thought?  Are they thinking that the man twice their age will grow dependent if they don't wean me off their charity?

I'm still interviewing, and some things are looking promising, but the pattern we've settled into over the past couple of weeks is starting to make a little sense:  I get up and just sort of putter around for a bit as Kutter and Rusty look to beat each other to the shower, get dressed, help each other with make-up, and then wave good-bye as they head for the subway, Kutter heading in to Manhattan and Rusty to the beverage company's office in Queens, although he may or not be staying there; they've got this motor-scooter thing he uses to visit shops and even make deliveries and is often only in the office for a half hour or so at a time.

(Aside: There is something weirdly encouraging about how the boys have watched a bunch of YouTube makeup tutorials and can use the tools but don't entirely trust the results yet and kind of need each other to say they whether look natural or not.)

(Aside Number Two: Since Rusty only has a learner's permit - I don't think new-Rusty has taken her/his driver's test yet - I kind of figured it worked out well that we wound up in New York, rather than someplace my apparently-adult son would have to drive everywhere, and while he's probably better at public transportation than either Kutter or I, now he's got to be responsible for a vehicle and I don't know whether it being this or a car would be better.)

Once they're gone, I can start my day, and I can't say it's really a routine yet, but it's becoming one.  Anyway, I take a shower and then spend a few minutes just looking at myself naked in the mirror after that and try to gauge my reaction,  I haven't talked about it much besides when the boys comment on it and it seems relevant, because it seems like a stupid thing to complain about, but I have become conventionally attractive:  Natural blonde hair that started out chin-length and is now either due for a cut or growing out, blue eyes, a few freckles on either side of a pug nose (used to have a Roman), soft but not really puffy lips.  Nice neck.  Perky D-cup breasts that don't really look that big because I'm almost 5'9", a waist that isn't skinny but which lets my hips flare a bit, nice legs.  I wouldn't say I've got something over my sons here, but it's kind of good to set in my head that this is how people see me, and if there's anything I should be paying attention to.

I lay what I'm going to wear for the day out but just throw on a bra and panties before clinching my bathrobe around my belly for housework.  There's not a whole lot to do, especially if I don't go into Rusty's room, but long hair can clog up a sink real fast if you don't pay attention, we all shaved our legs that morning, and the boys made a bit of a mess in the living room while gaming the night before.  There's dishes stacked up in the sink from last night and this morning.  The hamper's not quite full enough for laundry today.

Then I get dressed.  I'm trying to get myself used to mostly feminine clothes these days, both out of sympathy to the boys and just as practice.  No interviews (in person or virtual) today, so I'm trying to push myself a bit, with a pink turtleneck that really hugs my breasts, tight jeans, and boots that go up to the middle of my shins on top of a three-inch wedge heel.  I feel like this should look good, but I feel sort of ridiculous, and I must look very silly trying to walk in those things, even if Rusty said I'm doing better.

I go shopping anyway.  Part of living in the city and not having a car is that getting groceries is about getting what you need and can carry whenever the opportunity presents itself as opposed to stocking up for the next couple weeks, even if you're going to a supermarket.  For me, it's also about doing ordinary things as Emilia, getting used to interacting with young women as peers and folks I'm instinctively seeing as peers as something else.  A lot of guys my age, let alone younger, are staring at my breasts and following my butt as I walk by, and I'm trying to build up some armor about it getting to me the way someone Emilia's age probably has already and not being confused by it.  I still tend to see people staring at me and wonder if I've got barbecue sauce on my shirt, looking down, and thinking, no, just boobs.  I also kind of wonder of, when interviewing, I come off as too familiar to hiring managers, or even talking down to folks in their thirties. 

Then I come home and bake. Because flour is cheaper than bread, it makes the apartment smell great, and it fills time.  Most recipes are pretty easy, and kneading is something you do with your hands, and it means there's a little pride when the bread or cookies come out of the oven.  I might even get a sourdough starter going off this goes on much longer, which I guess is a thing twenty-something girls in Brooklyn do.  If they haven't texted to say they'll be late, I'll start cooking dinner. 

The funny thing about this routine is that a lot of this is not new to me, but we've had chore boards to divide all this up since the boys were ten or so; even during Covid, I didn't really have the luxury of being a stay-at-home dad.  We couldn't really afford a maid or anything, so the boys pitched in. I kind of figured we'd have to make more effort to get stuff done as their extracurriculars picked up.  Me handling the housework and waiting for them to get home and tell me about their days at work is very weird. 

I cannot wait to get a job of my own so things get a little more back to normal and I can put Emilia practice on the back burner. 

-Aidan/Emilia